Ask Eejit!

[eejit101]

You have a brain tumor. Though there is no discomfort at the moment, this tumor would unquestionably kill you in six months. However, your life can (and will) be saved by an operation; the only downside is there will be a brutal incision to your frontal lobe. After the surgery, you will be significantly less intelligent. You will be a fully functioning adult, but you will be less logical, you will have a terrible memory, and you will have little ability to understand complex concepts of difficult ideas. The surgery is in two weeks.


How do you spend the next fourteen days?

Spending every penny i have on gambling, beer, fun, theme parks, the kill myself.

Every person you have ever slept with is invited to a banquet where you are the guest of honor. No one will be in attendance except for you, the collection of former lovers, and the catering service. After the meal, you are asked to give a fifteen-minute speech to the assembly.



What do you talk about?

Hmm. Thats 20 people. Id talk about each person and what they meant to be, 45 seconds each. Id also ask one of them WTF they were doing, the sl.ut.

Then id offer a huge orgy.

[Ringo]

Genetic engineers at Johns Hopkins University have developed a so-called “super gorilla.” Though the animal cannot speak, it has a sign language lexicon of over twelve thousand words, and an IQ of almost 85, and – most notably – a vague sense of self-awareness. Oddly, the creature (who weighs seven hundred pounds) becomes fascinated by football. The gorilla aspires to play the game at its highest level and quickly develops the rudimentary skills of a defensive end. ESPN analyst Tom Jackson speculates that this gorilla would be “borderline unblockable” and would likely average six sacks a game (although Jackson concedes the beast might be susceptible to counters and misdirection plays). Meanwhile, the gorilla has made is clear he would never intentionally injure any opponent.

You are commissioner of the NFL: Would you allow this gorilla to sign with the Oakland Raiders?

[eejit101]

Genetic engineers at Johns Hopkins University have developed a so-called “super gorilla.” Though the animal cannot speak, it has a sign language lexicon of over twelve thousand words, and an IQ of almost 85, and – most notably – a vague sense of self-awareness. Oddly, the creature (who weighs seven hundred pounds) becomes fascinated by football. The gorilla aspires to play the game at its highest level and quickly develops the rudimentary skills of a defensive end. ESPN analyst Tom Jackson speculates that this gorilla would be “borderline unblockable” and would likely average six sacks a game (although Jackson concedes the beast might be susceptible to counters and misdirection plays). Meanwhile, the gorilla has made is clear he would never intentionally injure any opponent.

You are commissioner of the NFL: Would you allow this gorilla to sign with the Oakland Raiders?

No. As as far as I know animals cant play the NFL. Plus, how would that fit in with the salary cap? $250mil + some peanuts?

[eejit101]

And as for sue - LOL!

One of them is a caterer. So still 20 people, including her. And we get on fine, so she would make some food.

[woohoosue]

Ringo asks.....You are commissioner of the NFL: Would you allow this gorilla to sign with the Oakland Raiders?

No. As as far as I know animals cant play the NFL. Plus, how would that fit in with the salary cap? $250mil + some peanuts?

she says........why not! they let refrigerators in ...didn't they! go fridge go fridge!

[Ringo]

If there were a thousand seaguls in an airplane while its flying, each weighing two pounds a piece, but they were all flying in the airplane, would the airplane weigh 2000 pounds more?

[Ringo]

Why do British people never sound British when they sing?

[Ringo]

If a nursing mother had her nipples pierced would the milk come out of all three holes?

[woohoosue]

Ringo asked eejit: Every person you have ever slept with is invited to a banquet where you are the guest of honor. No one will be in attendance except for you, the collection of former lovers, and the catering service. After the meal, you are asked to give a fifteen-minute speech to the assembly.



What do you talk about?

Hmm. Thats 20 people. Id talk about each person and what they meant to be, 45 seconds each. Id also ask one of them WTF they were doing,e sl.ut.

Then id offer a huge orgy.

that's twenty people? ok how many of that 20 are the caterers?