Ask Eejit!

[eejit101]

Genetic engineers at Johns Hopkins University have developed a so-called “super gorilla.” Though the animal cannot speak, it has a sign language lexicon of over twelve thousand words, and an IQ of almost 85, and – most notably – a vague sense of self-awareness. Oddly, the creature (who weighs seven hundred pounds) becomes fascinated by football. The gorilla aspires to play the game at its highest level and quickly develops the rudimentary skills of a defensive end. ESPN analyst Tom Jackson speculates that this gorilla would be “borderline unblockable” and would likely average six sacks a game (although Jackson concedes the beast might be susceptible to counters and misdirection plays). Meanwhile, the gorilla has made is clear he would never intentionally injure any opponent.

You are commissioner of the NFL: Would you allow this gorilla to sign with the Oakland Raiders?

No. As as far as I know animals cant play the NFL. Plus, how would that fit in with the salary cap? $250mil + some peanuts?

[eejit101]

And as for sue - LOL!

One of them is a caterer. So still 20 people, including her. And we get on fine, so she would make some food.

[woohoosue]

Ringo asks.....You are commissioner of the NFL: Would you allow this gorilla to sign with the Oakland Raiders?

No. As as far as I know animals cant play the NFL. Plus, how would that fit in with the salary cap? $250mil + some peanuts?

she says........why not! they let refrigerators in ...didn't they! go fridge go fridge!

[Ringo]

If there were a thousand seaguls in an airplane while its flying, each weighing two pounds a piece, but they were all flying in the airplane, would the airplane weigh 2000 pounds more?

[Ringo]

Why do British people never sound British when they sing?

[Ringo]

If a nursing mother had her nipples pierced would the milk come out of all three holes?

[eejit101]

If there were a thousand seaguls in an airplane while its flying, each weighing two pounds a piece, but they were all flying in the airplane, would the airplane weigh 2000 pounds more?

Yes. As the air they displace pushes down upon the place to force an equilibrium of weight. I also think mythbusters broke this myth in a show too. So yes, the plane is heavier with birds on it, flying or not.

Why do British people never sound British when they sing?

They do. If i sing i normally mimic voices, so i sing in the accent of whoever is singing. But take... The Beatles. They sound english.

If a nursing mother had her nipples pierced would the milk come out of all three holes?

No, it comes out of about 15 anyway. The nipple has 15-20 small "holes" for milking. The extra ones just make them a bit bigger.

[Ringo]

How does a blind person know when to stop wiping after a bowel movemnet?