I hope your kidding when you say that you tried to attempt to kill yourself. Obviously you didn't which is good news! and I hope you never try to do that to yourself again if you were serious. Im guessing you were joking but you never know and I would hate to have that guilt on my shoulders if you really were being serious.

It was a bad beat of course but the truth is that the money in life doesn't matter and what you make or win with online poker is or should be fun. If not then you should become serious about the game and the profiting potential. If you choose to take this as a career then I would play live and not so much online except tournaments. I'm not anywhere near that decision but believe that online poker should be for free or for some extra cash that you can afford.

So don't sweat it! It was 55 and if you stay in your roll and play the games you can afford and work on your game, Im sure you will come out positively. Just make sure that if you want to make the decision to make this a career: To understand bankroll management and how to use your money for the greatest profit. And also knowing that you will have bad beats and times where you don't know why someone called you, or why you didn't play a particular way. That is the main key behind making it a career.

I hope that you make all the money you've dreamed! I want to as well. Just know what that means and what will, can, or possibly happen and how to deal and manage all of these criteria's