Ask Eejit!

After discussion (I use that term loosely) with NDN, this is to be the official (maybe) NoDepositNeeded thread to discuss.... anything.

You can ask anything you want! About your life, my life, "agony aunt" questions, social situations, sex, drugs (though i don't know much about that), Rock'N'Roll, cooking, sport, movies, music, anything.

So, want some blunt advice as to why the girl you love wont text you back? How to make a killer Spaghetti Bolognase? Or who is the highest paid actor in history?


Go nuts.

why do americans love cheese?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ScareCrowAKA

why do americans love cheese?

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1 - It tastes nice.
2 - It goes well with pretty much any food.
3 - Its easy to make a meal with it. Sandwich, Cheese on Toast etc.
4 - It was readily available when other food were not in older years. Cheese is easily made, cheap to distribute, lasts a long time without spoiling.
5 - People are lazy. The fact they can simply put some cheese on something will disambiguate flavours of food, nice or nasty, and bring about a pleasant smell and taste.
6 - As it goes well with anything, and people tend to stick to what they like, they will add it to things over time.
7 - There are many variables of cheese. Cow/Goat/Sheep, and also colours and flavours. Truly something for everyone in the cheese market.
8 - Borat - borat deleted scenes not seen in movie - YouTube

What can we do to convince USA we just want to have a nice game of poker and we are not terrorist ?:)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by nodepositneeded

What can we do to convince USA we just want to have a nice game of poker and we are not terrorist ?:)

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1 - Stop giving money to the PPA (Poker Players Alliance) who have done basically nothing, aside from make it worse.
2 - Create the worlds largest petition.
3 - Hope Obama gets a 2nd term. Id say you have a better shot with Obama than a replacement.
4 - Have someone in the senate than can actually work out Capitol Gains. Surely they have to realise that taxing online poker far outweights the ethical and gambling issues related to it.



My personal thoughts are this - I live in the UK. We can play poker online, casinos, bingo. The sites are taxed by the government, the players are not. You are not taxed personally on any winnings. I won $65k, i keep $65k, the site pays the tax out of the rate etc. I am also a person. I work to earn my money, I pay tax on what I earn. I then pay tax on what I spend it on. If i choose to gamble with it, I am not harming anyone. I am not commiting a terrorist act. I am not laundering money. The sites have checks in place for this, in an interview with Ladbrokes I had a few years ago, I talked to them about the checks. They are thorough thats for sure. Its near on impossible, and insanely stupid, to launder money like this. Over here, I can go to the casino and play poker, no tax, the casino pays it out of the rake. I can walk into a high street bookmakers and place a bet. On the street which I live on there are 3 such establishments, all fully legitimate, all multi-million pound companies. 2 floated on the stock exchange.

Now for Americans. You guys are the same as us. Our government has a way to let everyone play poker (over 18) if they so choose to. Why cant you? We dont have to pay tax on our winnings as they are winnings, not earned income. If poker was my job, then yes I would look into the legal ramifications. But it isnt. So I wont. why should you? You have been banned by nearly all casinos and poker sites now. Why? Are you not ALLOWED to do what you want with your own money? Fine, if it is detrimental to the world, yes, ban the hell out of it. But you are playing other people, with their own money. Its a game of skill and luck, the percentages are unsure depending on what game you are playing, but it is a game like no other.

And it sucks that we live in a world where a recreation that can be fun, risky, rewarding, exciting, and fruitful, is banned due to public perception, money, tax, and stupidity.

Are young people in England really snorting Bath Salts to get high?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ringo

Are young people in England really snorting Bath Salts to get high?

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No, thats america. People here still do "coke" (not me)

This morning I saw a MONSTER turkey outside, so I rushed downstairs with a camera to snap a quick picture, but it was gone by the time I got outside.

Was it really the worlds biggest turkey that I saw? How could I have kept it there long enough to get the picture?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NDN

This morning I saw a MONSTER turkey outside, so I rushed downstairs with a camera to snap a quick picture, but it was gone by the time I got outside.

Was it really the worlds biggest turkey that I saw? How could I have kept it there long enough to get the picture?

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By shooting it with a gun first.......lol ok no letters.

I bet I can capture a photo of some wild turkey before you do?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ringo

I bet I can capture a photo of some wild turkey before you do?

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No deal! Although, turkeys aren't hard to come by around here, I was just amazed at the size of the one I couldn't get a picture of this morning.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NDN

This morning I saw a MONSTER turkey outside, so I rushed downstairs with a camera to snap a quick picture, but it was gone by the time I got outside.

Was it really the worlds biggest turkey that I saw? How could I have kept it there long enough to get the picture?

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maybe you could invite birds that evoke higher thought processes making the turkeys next visit longer through contemplation. Turkeys find thought taxing and fall into a type of coma when presented with this(kind of like eejit and dating).
http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3201/5...c9bf9d23_z.jpg

Quote:

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Originally Posted by eejit101

1 - It tastes nice.
2 - It goes well with pretty much any food.
3 - Its easy to make a meal with it. Sandwich, Cheese on Toast etc.
4 - It was readily available when other food were not in older years. Cheese is easily made, cheap to distribute, lasts a long time without spoiling.
5 - People are lazy. The fact they can simply put some cheese on something will disambiguate flavours of food, nice or nasty, and bring about a pleasant smell and taste.
6 - As it goes well with anything, and people tend to stick to what they like, they will add it to things over time.
7 - There are many variables of cheese. Cow/Goat/Sheep, and also colours and flavours. Truly something for everyone in the cheese market.
8 - Borat - borat deleted scenes not seen in movie - YouTube

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"Why do americans love cheese?" since when are you an expert on americans ....please keep your european misconceptions of us to yourself....Borat(Borat Sagdiyev, a popular Kazakh television personality)?????? is NOT american. I am an american and cheese is flavorful and a great source of calcium....nuff said!

The amount of cheese on a crunchy taco at Taco Bell weighs less than 1 gram
and it doesn't do a damned thing to enhance the flavor.

Only thing I like cheese in, is eggs.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ringo

The amount of cheese on a crunchy taco at Taco Bell weighs less than 1 gram
and it doesn't do a damned thing to enhance the flavor.

Only thing I like cheese in, is eggs.

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ok one thought ....you need to expand your cheese awareness. Is taco bell cheese real cheese I wonder?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NDN

No deal! Although, turkeys aren't hard to come by around here, I was just amazed at the size of the one I couldn't get a picture of this morning.

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Tell me where you live and I will come around so you can take my picture.

The Turkey(biggest one you will ever see!)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tomturkey46

Tell me where you live and I will come around so you can take my picture.

The Turkey(biggest one you will ever see!)

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I have no idea why, but that made me chuckle!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NDN

This morning I saw a MONSTER turkey outside, so I rushed downstairs with a camera to snap a quick picture, but it was gone by the time I got outside.

Was it really the worlds biggest turkey that I saw? How could I have kept it there long enough to get the picture?

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No it wasnt. And by shooting it. Or by asking it nicely.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ringo

I bet I can capture a photo of some wild turkey before you do?

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Ill bet you can.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by woohoosue

maybe you could invite birds that evoke higher thought processes making the turkeys next visit longer through contemplation. Turkeys find thought taxing and fall into a type of coma when presented with this(kind of like eejit and dating).
http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3201/5...c9bf9d23_z.jpg

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I dont fall in to a coma when thinking about dating. Biatch.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tomturkey46

Tell me where you live and I will come around so you can take my picture.

The Turkey(biggest one you will ever see!)

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That made me laugh alot.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NDN

I have no idea why, but that made me chuckle!

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As it was funny?


I think that covers that spam.

My friend had the biggest turkey probably 100 pounds.He got so big he almost killed three hens during mating season lol.Anyway my friend put him on a nice dinner table he was 67 pounds cleaned .They donated it to a homeless shelter,he was the guard Turkey at the farm lol

Quote:

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Originally Posted by eejit101

1 - Stop giving money to the PPA (Poker Players Alliance) who have done basically nothing, aside from make it worse.
2 - Create the worlds largest petition.
3 - Hope Obama gets a 2nd term. Id say you have a better shot with Obama than a replacement.
4 - Have someone in the senate than can actually work out Capitol Gains. Surely they have to realise that taxing online poker far outweights the ethical and gambling issues related to it.



My personal thoughts are this - I live in the UK. We can play poker online, casinos, bingo. The sites are taxed by the government, the players are not. You are not taxed personally on any winnings. I won $65k, i keep $65k, the site pays the tax out of the rate etc. I am also a person. I work to earn my money, I pay tax on what I earn. I then pay tax on what I spend it on. If i choose to gamble with it, I am not harming anyone. I am not commiting a terrorist act. I am not laundering money. The sites have checks in place for this, in an interview with Ladbrokes I had a few years ago, I talked to them about the checks. They are thorough thats for sure. Its near on impossible, and insanely stupid, to launder money like this. Over here, I can go to the casino and play poker, no tax, the casino pays it out of the rake. I can walk into a high street bookmakers and place a bet. On the street which I live on there are 3 such establishments, all fully legitimate, all multi-million pound companies. 2 floated on the stock exchange.

Now for Americans. You guys are the same as us. Our government has a way to let everyone play poker (over 18) if they so choose to. Why cant you? We dont have to pay tax on our winnings as they are winnings, not earned income. If poker was my job, then yes I would look into the legal ramifications. But it isnt. So I wont. why should you? You have been banned by nearly all casinos and poker sites now. Why? Are you not ALLOWED to do what you want with your own money? Fine, if it is detrimental to the world, yes, ban the hell out of it. But you are playing other people, with their own money. Its a game of skill and luck, the percentages are unsure depending on what game you are playing, but it is a game like no other.

And it sucks that we live in a world where a recreation that can be fun, risky, rewarding, exciting, and fruitful, is banned due to public perception, money, tax, and stupidity.

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It's absolutely ridiculous that the U.S. is banned from stuff that is perfectly legal in the U.K. This is a well written letter, Eejit, and if you want to send it to one of our lawmakers, I'd be happy to sign it.

Now I have a question for you.
Three ladies are on a road trip and stop at a cheap hotel. They split a $30 room. Each gives $10 to the clerk.
Later, the manager comes in and tells the clerk that that room was on special for $25. So he gives the clerk $5 and tells him to take it to the ladies and divide it between them. On the way, the clerk can't figure out how to split $5 three ways so he pockets $2 and gives each gal $1.
So each lady has now paid $9. And the clerk has $2.
9 times 3 is 27 plus the 2 the clerk took equal 29. My question, Eejit my freind, is where did the other dollar go?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by tjntaco

Now I have a question for you.
Three ladies are on a road trip and stop at a cheap hotel. They split a $30 room. Each gives $10 to the clerk.
Later, the manager comes in and tells the clerk that that room was on special for $25. So he gives the clerk $5 and tells him to take it to the ladies and divide it between them. On the way, the clerk can't figure out how to split $5 three ways so he pockets $2 and gives each gal $1.
So each lady has now paid $9. And the clerk has $2.
9 times 3 is 27 plus the 2 the clerk took equal 29. My question, Eejit my freind, is where did the other dollar go?

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You have to give him something he can't Google!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by tjntaco

It's absolutely ridiculous that the U.S. is banned from stuff that is perfectly legal in the U.K. This is a well written letter, Eejit, and if you want to send it to one of our lawmakers, I'd be happy to sign it.

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according to ringo, online gaming soon 2 b legal in nevada, im guessing cali follows next, then some others... us govt will never go for no taxes on winnings, our welfare state is uch larger than the uk's, and too many people in power skim off the top of every fed. program in exsistance.

27-2=25 bad math

Quote:

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Originally Posted by tjntaco

Now I have a question for you.
Three ladies are on a road trip and stop at a cheap hotel. They split a $30 room. Each gives $10 to the clerk.
Later, the manager comes in and tells the clerk that that room was on special for $25. So he gives the clerk $5 and tells him to take it to the ladies and divide it between them. On the way, the clerk can't figure out how to split $5 three ways so he pockets $2 and gives each gal $1.
So each lady has now paid $9. And the clerk has $2.
9 times 3 is 27 plus the 2 the clerk took equal 29. My question, Eejit my freind, is where did the other dollar go?

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There wasnt another dollar to begin with.

Ive answered this question about 50 times. The girls paid $10 each. They then get $5 back. They basically including the $3 back paid $25 for the room, the $3 they got back, and the $2 tip.

Its just a question written weirdly.