Ok this ones kinda of old but it's funny as hell

A boy walks into a whore house draging a dead frog on a string. The madaam says what can i do for you son and the boy says I want you nastiest most stank and rotten disease ridden whore you got. The madaam says are you sure cause we got old mary upstairs and she hasnt been asked for in years cause she never showers and she's gained a ton of weight. So the boy says yes that perfect and so she tells him 5th door on the right. The boy enters the room and there sets Fat Mary and she is fat and nasty and flies are swarming around her and the room smells something awful and he does his thing and goes back toward the door still draggin his dead frog about to leave and the madaam says wait I have to ask why did you want such a nasty woman for you first lay. The boy says well when I get home tonight mom and dad are going out and leaving me with the babysitter and I'm gonna sleep with her then when they get back dad will drive the baby sitter home but stop off and he's gonna sleep with her too. Then the next morning when dad goes to work and the mailman comes mom is gonna sleep with him and that's the b a s t a r d that ran over my frog