Not that it matters?

[twenty47]

okay hypothetically.

Your with somebody for about 13 - 14 years and the relationship is rocky but you're pretending to work on it.

You've been unemployed for a couple months with a couple days work in between. You pretend that your trying to work it out with your family (spouse and child) but you phone a past employer out of town and he says he'll hire you back. You agree to go out of town and tell your family. They don't agree with it because last year you did the exact same thing and it DIDN'T work out because you partied the whole time you were suppose to be working (keep in mind your 46 years old). Your spouse tells you that she can get you a job in town that pays more than the job out of town (and she's told you this on numerous occasions before today, you also have to pay for living arrangements and food etc out of town with your own money) Keep in mind for the past 2 months of being unemployed your spouse was helping you out and you were allowing her to spend her money on your neccessities (she may not have liked it and threw it in your face once in awhile) but you say you're still leaving to go work out of town. your STUPID spouse doesn't see the reasoning in it and your getting mad having the same conversation over and over with her. She gives you a choice.... go out of town and work = lose your family for good, or let her get you the job in town that pays double and keep your family.

what do you do and why?

PS/ the spouse is really pissed now and isn't playing games anymore and is SERIOUS as she's almost already moving on (one phone call and you're history). You're MOMMY says leave and do good for yourself, you don't need them. Your son is stuck in the middle and doesn't want to pick between mom and dad but will stay with mom because dad wouldn't take him anyway and mom provides for the family regardless what dad says because you don't give money like you claim you do. and when you go out of town to work you have to BORROW money to get there and BORROW money to eat, smoke, drink etc until you get your first paycheck which in the RIGHT world you have to pay back to MOMMY because she lent you the money to start out... and then you have to pay child support on top of that because your ex isn't playing games and has a garnishee on your wages.

HYPOTHETICALLY what do you do? do you still go out of town (and call her bluff) and work for party money and think you can just phone home and hope the ex misses you so much that she'll want to talk to you and let you come home when you want. Or do still go out of town, calling home and realizing she did move on and there's somebody else in her life? is a family worth that gamble? it may not work out if you stay, but at least that way you can still have your son in your life?

[BnLM5]

Hypothetically speaking, If the spouse loved her and he could get a job in town and make more money than out of town he would stay and not leave his family. There would be no reason to leave. IMO It would not make any sense to go out of town and go into debt.

I say if he goes, as much as it may hurt, mom is right move on and do good for yourself and your son. Don't throw idol threats. Mean what you say. I know it may feel like failing at it but you are not a failure. He would be walking away. Don't allow this to happen.

Children are flexible and as long as they are in a loving and safe environment they will bounce back and be just fine. They understand more than we realize. And in the end they will see the truth without one word spoken.

I would not wish a broken heart on anyone. It is an unexplainable pain that hurts like no other. However time heals pain! It sucks waiting for time to pass, until it has passed us and then we wonder where it has gone. Make the best of your life. Life is way to short and we only get one.

[woohoosue]

hey i got to agree with BnLM5.....and add ....hypothetically one can only take from his insistence to go out of town vs staying for more money that there is another reason for going.... like wanting to be gone ..... which would not sit well with this hypothetical wife if it were her.... that said
My husband has been working out of town for our whole marriage threw all the children and all ...it was tuff but when he came home on weekend he really pampered us all... I rarely complained ..life is/was good...
one should soul search very hard before making a decision to leave his family when a plausible alternative exists ... "that dog don't hunt" in other words ...there is something not right here in this story.

[GloBug]

wow this way over my head. this looks like a lady only thread. im not sure where this is comeing from. is this a personal issue hypothetically. i dont know u ladies are way to deep for me.

[twenty47]

there is everything wrong with this story when the "hypothetical dad" talks to his son and says "mom kicked me out" and trying to make my boy hate me. Hypothetically I asked him to stay and be a part of the boys life, not mine as my life wouldn't be nice with him but the boy LOVES him. anyway, hypothetically I'm changing everything he'd know about me and I'm gonna act on my woman's intuition and move on, which "hypothetically" i've already done. I just wanted things to be more civil and not stupid. fighting got tiredsome and forgiving was meaningless. I'm sorry was not even spoken after awhile, and even if it was it would be like a slap in the face. ty u know who you are and I hope nothing but BAD BEAT after BAD BEAT, HYPOthETICALLY!

[twenty47]

remember when we first met umpteen years ago and i joked around saying this was OUR song, I wish i Knew then what I know now. this was suppose to be our funny wedding song. turns out it's just funny.

[twenty47]

i didn't edit fast enough but here's the link: YouTube - Wasted days, Wasted nights 1975

[eejit101]

Id just move, buy a bar, and get a british guy to own it....

or...

I dunno, my relationship advice sucks

[freeringo]

Lori summed it up very well indeed.
Let's toss the 3rd party talk aside.
You have to follow your heart.
Your ex is your ex and pretending to work things out is a lie to yourself.
The truth is, she has moved on and you need to move on.
The truth will set you free.

[twenty47]

Id just move, buy a bar, and get a british guy to own it....

or...

I dunno, my relationship advice sucks

lol this is the best advice ever..... but first i think i may go out camping this weekend with some buddies, apparently it's a holiday here on monday so my working buddies have a long weekend! YIPPEEEE!

[freeringo]

lol this is the best advice ever..... but first i think i may go out camping this weekend with some buddies, apparently it's a holiday here on monday so my working buddies have a long weekend! YIPPEEEE!

Atta boy woof

[Pokerkitty6]

That Freddy Fender song always reminds me of my mom. She loved him like a school girl with great big crush. Everytime I hear that song it reminds me of my Mom and whats funny about it is she never gets wasted! It was one of her favorite songs for a long time. Good Luck with your problem, I didn't read it all and felt it was a little too deep for me too...

[Lilred36]

Good luck man,I am terrible with advice to,but you should get some great advice from the ladies I am sure.

[heelside720]

Tough one to answer . But i do know this , that if it were me i would not be leaving without my son . So what i am saying is me and my son are moving out !!!!!!!!!! I hope everthing works out for you !!!!!!!!