I think that you should do what you feel is right. Take a look at the risk/benefits of each option and compare them with your family's reaction. I'm sorry that you are receiving negative energy from her Uncle but try to let it run off your back and be smooth.

As long as you know that you are doing the right thing and to support heather than that's all that matters. I would sit down and talk to her about it and find the best option for all the circulating drama as well. It won't happen over night or maybe it could.. but stay strong and keep your head up because you know that you can follow through with either of those options and become independent of the support and be able to live without the drama. I know you can do it!

Again, just take a little bit of time and think it over with every option so that you don't have any regrets. What helps me a lot of the time is focusing on my long term goal and my expenses in the present. This sounds really stupid but I use a Pro's/Con's list to help me decide these type of situations because I can understand where you're coming from. Just don't let you and Heather get involved in the things that don't really matter in your relationship. I hope I was helpful in some sort of way because I know I can never full understand what it is like but I know you two will work through it.