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Thread: My life dilemma

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    elkhart
    Posts
    2,440

    Default My life dilemma

    Here lately I have been kindadown and out maybe a bit depressed. Not because of anything that has to do with poker or casinoes or gambling in general.

    Ever since i was old enough to get out and get a job, I started working at jack-in-the-box, which was my very first job. Ever since then I have done a whole lot of different jobs, carpentry, roofing, machine shops, driving jobs, fast food jobs, quality control, shipping and recieving, sales, and a few other odds and end jobs. I even owned my own lawn service for a while, till my entire trailer and everything on it was stolen.

    Here lately, especially since i have had my first kiddo, I have had a pre mid-life crisis of sorts. I am 29, and i am getting sick and tired of just getting dead end, low paying jobs. I have my high school diploma and 2 years of college, but no real, verifiable job specific skills. I dont have any thing in mind that i would love to do more than anything else, except maybe poker, but this is real life, and i need something that pays good,that i can get a stable dependable weekly paycheck, that i enjoy doing, that I can make a career out of. Thats not to much to ask for is it?

    Well most yall dont know it, but i am hearing impaired and wear two hearing aids, and I came across some information while looking for a job at the workeforce commission. They told me about a place that can help me get job specific training, for a job that I can do that wont effect my ability to do certain things.

    So i went, and got approve for all kinds of stuff. New hearing aids, job specifc training at blinn college, and help with exspenses till i can get a job doing something. Since i am limited to what i can do(hearing aids are very fragile instruments, and will break easily when exsposed to a little water, excessive heat,excessive cold etc.), we decided on a plan to send me to truck driving school, and as long as I can pass my dmv physical, then this would be a great job, that i can do.

    Problem is this. I start in september, and me and my family have been recieving help and support from heathers mom and step-dad. Well, heathers uncle and others, have been being A$$e$ lately, saying that we are just using heathers mom and step-dad, and that we need to just do what ever and move on, like im not even trying to do something benefical to everyone involved. Heathers uncle is a lazy bum thats just wants to live off social security the rest of his life, spend all his money on booze, and just get wasted everyday, justing wasting his life. What gives him the right tp scrutinize what i am trying to do for my family? Me and him have already almost fought and I cant stand to be around him much longer. I have even contemplated leaving here and just living in my car, till I can get the training done, or just go to one of those truck driving training centers,where they train you free in exchange for a year contract with one of the company trucking sponsorships. but if i do that i could lose heather and kylee, because they aint staying in my car,homeless.

    What should i do guys? the training at blinn college is a four week course, five days a week 8am-5pm, and then im done, cdl certified, and ready for a great paying career oriented job, but face futher complications from all the haysayers around, and possible end up on the street??

    Or should I just say to h&ll with it, get another dead end job, please all the naysayers, and continue through life without ever really enjoying it?

    or maybe i should say *** it, leave and go to one of those trucking training sponshorship deals,be gone for a year, missed the first years of my daughters life,possibly lose my relationship with heather, and just say to HELL with everybody?

    Heather is supportive of what I am trying to accomplish, but even she is caving in to the pressure and stress all the naysayers are causing, which in turn is causing problems between us. We are trying so hard to make this all work, but sometimes I feel like everything i try do is meaningless, and every thing i try to do is a dead end. I love heather and kylee and dont want things to go south, so what should i do?

  2. #2
    *KYLEE'SMOMMY* Guest

    Default

    baby you know i support you in whatever decision you make. i believe that if

    you did go away for a year that our love is strong enough to make is. God

    brought us together. i love you with all my heart. i know you hate johnny and

    so do i. i dont like being here, but i look foward to you going to school and

    making something of yourself. that is why i am always on the phone with

    those people trying to push them. i think your best choice is to get the

    training that you need here and the hearin aids here. that would help alot.

    and i also think that everything will be ok in the long run. God never puts to

    much on you that you cant handle. i love you baby and so does kylee. and you know mom wont kick

    us out.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Oklahoma
    Posts
    3,102

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PANAMHIEST View Post
    Here lately I have been kindadown and out maybe a bit depressed. Not because of anything that has to do with poker or casinoes or gambling in general.

    Ever since i was old enough to get out and get a job, I started working at jack-in-the-box, which was my very first job. Ever since then I have done a whole lot of different jobs, carpentry, roofing, machine shops, driving jobs, fast food jobs, quality control, shipping and recieving, sales, and a few other odds and end jobs. I even owned my own lawn service for a while, till my entire trailer and everything on it was stolen.

    Here lately, especially since i have had my first kiddo, I have had a pre mid-life crisis of sorts. I am 29, and i am getting sick and tired of just getting dead end, low paying jobs. I have my high school diploma and 2 years of college, but no real, verifiable job specific skills. I dont have any thing in mind that i would love to do more than anything else, except maybe poker, but this is real life, and i need something that pays good,that i can get a stable dependable weekly paycheck, that i enjoy doing, that I can make a career out of. Thats not to much to ask for is it?

    Well most yall dont know it, but i am hearing impaired and wear two hearing aids, and I came across some information while looking for a job at the workeforce commission. They told me about a place that can help me get job specific training, for a job that I can do that wont effect my ability to do certain things.

    So i went, and got approve for all kinds of stuff. New hearing aids, job specifc training at blinn college, and help with exspenses till i can get a job doing something. Since i am limited to what i can do(hearing aids are very fragile instruments, and will break easily when exsposed to a little water, excessive heat,excessive cold etc.), we decided on a plan to send me to truck driving school, and as long as I can pass my dmv physical, then this would be a great job, that i can do.

    Problem is this. I start in september, and me and my family have been recieving help and support from heathers mom and step-dad. Well, heathers uncle and others, have been being A$$e$ lately, saying that we are just using heathers mom and step-dad, and that we need to just do what ever and move on, like im not even trying to do something benefical to everyone involved. Heathers uncle is a lazy bum thats just wants to live off social security the rest of his life, spend all his money on booze, and just get wasted everyday, justing wasting his life. What gives him the right tp scrutinize what i am trying to do for my family? Me and him have already almost fought and I cant stand to be around him much longer. I have even contemplated leaving here and just living in my car, till I can get the training done, or just go to one of those truck driving training centers,where they train you free in exchange for a year contract with one of the company trucking sponsorships. but if i do that i could lose heather and kylee, because they aint staying in my car,homeless.

    What should i do guys? the training at blinn college is a four week course, five days a week 8am-5pm, and then im done, cdl certified, and ready for a great paying career oriented job, but face futher complications from all the haysayers around, and possible end up on the street??

    Or should I just say to h&ll with it, get another dead end job, please all the naysayers, and continue through life without ever really enjoying it?

    or maybe i should say *** it, leave and go to one of those trucking training sponshorship deals,be gone for a year, missed the first years of my daughters life,possibly lose my relationship with heather, and just say to HELL with everybody?

    Heather is supportive of what I am trying to accomplish, but even she is caving in to the pressure and stress all the naysayers are causing, which in turn is causing problems between us. We are trying so hard to make this all work, but sometimes I feel like everything i try do is meaningless, and every thing i try to do is a dead end. I love heather and kylee and dont want things to go south, so what should i do?
    As tough as this is, your first duty as a husband and father is to your immediate family, that being Heather and Kylee. I gather from your post that you are living with Heather's parents until you get more solidly on your feet? Is Heather's uncle living there too? If not, I don't think that how he feels about the situation should have any bearing on what is right for you, and it probably still shouldn't even if he is living there, because Heather's parents are the ones helping support you, not him. And if they're willing to coninue supporting you, especially if it's not much longer than a month or so when you would start this training program, then I say you should continue to let them be generous. There is plenty of time to return the favor to the family when you are really able to do so. I'm sorry this is causing stress between you and Heather, that sucks. Just try the best you can to get through this, if you can't find the strength to do it for yourself, then do it for little Kylee's sake. Kids can easily sense tension between their parents, no matter how young they are, and hard times between you and Heather will make it harder on your daughter, as well. Not saying it's not okay or normal to go thorough troubles because it is and every couple should at some point o strengthen their relationship, but still try to keep it to a minimum if you possibly can for all of your sakes. I know you will, you're a good guy.

    I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers for sure. It sounds to me though that you already know what you should do, you just need to find the strength to do it. Believe me, I don't get along well with my immediate family really at all, even though I'm forced to spend a lot of time with them because of my handicap. I just keep trying to remind myself though that Klink is my family now, and we're supposed to care for each other's well being first and foremost, and how he feels about me is much more important than others. So try to keep that in mind, I know it's hard.

    Thanks for coming to us for advice, that's what we're here for!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    2,084

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by taylovesthebeatles View Post
    As tough as this is, your first duty as a husband and father is to your immediate family, that being Heather and Kylee. I gather from your post that you are living with Heather's parents until you get more solidly on your feet? Is Heather's uncle living there too? If not, I don't think that how he feels about the situation should have any bearing on what is right for you, and it probably still shouldn't even if he is living there, because Heather's parents are the ones helping support you, not him. And if they're willing to coninue supporting you, especially if it's not much longer than a month or so when you would start this training program, then I say you should continue to let them be generous. There is plenty of time to return the favor to the family when you are really able to do so. I'm sorry this is causing stress between you and Heather, that sucks. Just try the best you can to get through this, if you can't find the strength to do it for yourself, then do it for little Kylee's sake. Kids can easily sense tension between their parents, no matter how young they are, and hard times between you and Heather will make it harder on your daughter, as well. Not saying it's not okay or normal to go thorough troubles because it is and every couple should at some point o strengthen their relationship, but still try to keep it to a minimum if you possibly can for all of your sakes. I know you will, you're a good guy.

    I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers for sure. It sounds to me though that you already know what you should do, you just need to find the strength to do it. Believe me, I don't get along well with my immediate family really at all, even though I'm forced to spend a lot of time with them because of my handicap. I just keep trying to remind myself though that Klink is my family now, and we're supposed to care for each other's well being first and foremost, and how he feels about me is much more important than others. So try to keep that in mind, I know it's hard.

    Thanks for coming to us for advice, that's what we're here for!
    I can't say anything different than what Tay said because she said it all.

    At least, that's what I believe in my opinion.

    I wish you guys nothing but the best.

    And will keep you guys in my thoughts.

  5. #5
    *KYLEE'SMOMMY* Guest

    Default

    thank you tay for your insite. it is really helpfull. no johnny dont live here he

    is just here all the time. joe hates him and so do i. we dont listen to him and

    we ignore him. i havent liked him for 7 years. he is a piece of work. the day

    my dad died he went into my mom and dads room (my mom was working out

    the funeral arrangements) and tried to steal my dads guns! then 2 years ago

    he tried to get joe to date his daughter behind my back. of course joe didnt

    do it but its the principal you know? and other things. i cant forgive him for

    what he has done!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    in my wifes panties
    Posts
    4,790

    Default

    Truck driving jobs are one of the most needed jobs available and plumbing.
    Truck drivers get paid well and after a year or two, your scheduling will be better for your family.
    I looked into truck driving courses and the closest school is 80 miles in Reno and 5-6 weeks.

    Problem is I live in California.
    Closest school in Calif is 130 miles away and a cost of $1400.
    You are getting school paid for you and support while learning.
    You can't find a better deal.
    Another thought is the Military
    you have 2 years of college
    you could enlist as an officer now.
    Your family can live with you on base.
    It sounds like you are good friends with your woman, that is so important.
    Together you can pull this off.
    Seperated, you would all suffer.
    Your friendship, bond and love is strong.
    Now cowboy up and take that first step to a LONGGGGG and happy future.
    1-2 years is worth a lifetime of joy.
    Good Luck

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    306

    Default

    I think that you should do what you feel is right. Take a look at the risk/benefits of each option and compare them with your family's reaction. I'm sorry that you are receiving negative energy from her Uncle but try to let it run off your back and be smooth.

    As long as you know that you are doing the right thing and to support heather than that's all that matters. I would sit down and talk to her about it and find the best option for all the circulating drama as well. It won't happen over night or maybe it could.. but stay strong and keep your head up because you know that you can follow through with either of those options and become independent of the support and be able to live without the drama. I know you can do it!

    Again, just take a little bit of time and think it over with every option so that you don't have any regrets. What helps me a lot of the time is focusing on my long term goal and my expenses in the present. This sounds really stupid but I use a Pro's/Con's list to help me decide these type of situations because I can understand where you're coming from. Just don't let you and Heather get involved in the things that don't really matter in your relationship. I hope I was helpful in some sort of way because I know I can never full understand what it is like but I know you two will work through it.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    in house on a street in a neighborhood somewhere in a city in the best state.
    Posts
    5,409

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PANAMHIEST View Post
    Here lately I have been kindadown and out maybe a bit depressed. Not because of anything that has to do with poker or casinoes or gambling in general.

    Ever since i was old enough to get out and get a job, I started working at jack-in-the-box, which was my very first job. Ever since then I have done a whole lot of different jobs, carpentry, roofing, machine shops, driving jobs, fast food jobs, quality control, shipping and recieving, sales, and a few other odds and end jobs. I even owned my own lawn service for a while, till my entire trailer and everything on it was stolen.

    Here lately, especially since i have had my first kiddo, I have had a pre mid-life crisis of sorts. I am 29, and i am getting sick and tired of just getting dead end, low paying jobs. I have my high school diploma and 2 years of college, but no real, verifiable job specific skills. I dont have any thing in mind that i would love to do more than anything else, except maybe poker, but this is real life, and i need something that pays good,that i can get a stable dependable weekly paycheck, that i enjoy doing, that I can make a career out of. Thats not to much to ask for is it?

    Well most yall dont know it, but i am hearing impaired and wear two hearing aids, and I came across some information while looking for a job at the workeforce commission. They told me about a place that can help me get job specific training, for a job that I can do that wont effect my ability to do certain things.

    So i went, and got approve for all kinds of stuff. New hearing aids, job specifc training at blinn college, and help with exspenses till i can get a job doing something. Since i am limited to what i can do(hearing aids are very fragile instruments, and will break easily when exsposed to a little water, excessive heat,excessive cold etc.), we decided on a plan to send me to truck driving school, and as long as I can pass my dmv physical, then this would be a great job, that i can do.

    Problem is this. I start in september, and me and my family have been recieving help and support from heathers mom and step-dad. Well, heathers uncle and others, have been being A$$e$ lately, saying that we are just using heathers mom and step-dad, and that we need to just do what ever and move on, like im not even trying to do something benefical to everyone involved. Heathers uncle is a lazy bum thats just wants to live off social security the rest of his life, spend all his money on booze, and just get wasted everyday, justing wasting his life. What gives him the right tp scrutinize what i am trying to do for my family? Me and him have already almost fought and I cant stand to be around him much longer. I have even contemplated leaving here and just living in my car, till I can get the training done, or just go to one of those truck driving training centers,where they train you free in exchange for a year contract with one of the company trucking sponsorships. but if i do that i could lose heather and kylee, because they aint staying in my car,homeless.

    What should i do guys? the training at blinn college is a four week course, five days a week 8am-5pm, and then im done, cdl certified, and ready for a great paying career oriented job, but face futher complications from all the haysayers around, and possible end up on the street??

    Or should I just say to h&ll with it, get another dead end job, please all the naysayers, and continue through life without ever really enjoying it?

    or maybe i should say *** it, leave and go to one of those trucking training sponshorship deals,be gone for a year, missed the first years of my daughters life,possibly lose my relationship with heather, and just say to HELL with everybody?

    Heather is supportive of what I am trying to accomplish, but even she is caving in to the pressure and stress all the naysayers are causing, which in turn is causing problems between us. We are trying so hard to make this all work, but sometimes I feel like everything i try do is meaningless, and every thing i try to do is a dead end. I love heather and kylee and dont want things to go south, so what should i do?

    well my brotha. u need to just hang in there. u are a great dad and i think u need to know that. as for work bro as long as u got work thats good for these times. i mean look at me i was laid off after 9 years over a email . i am electrician by trade but i and a jack of all trades and a master of none. well i got my old job back and now things are better. dont worry about what her family says as long as her mom and step dad dont mind then so be it. what u can do is pay them back when school is over and u 3 get on your feet. life could be worse. u could be broke homeless and a drug addict. u have a wife a beautiful daughter and looks like in laws that support. u. i didnt know u were hearing impaired. it doesnt look it has stopped u so just keep chugging. have u ever thougth about getting into a trade of some sort then join a union. dude ur still young and have time. well i hope i mean i know it will work out for u 3 . it always does. your wife seems great so just think that she supports u and no one else matters. stay strong my friend and things will get better. i promise. keep your head up. your all healthey

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    192

    Default

    i know what you mean i feel your pain im working at mobil pt getting 7.50 an hr. I want to go back to school to be a crime scene tech but i just cant get off my *** and do it. That really depresses me. i dont drive. He does

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    Ocala, FL
    Posts
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    Stay positive and don't take any frustrations out on each other. Life always throws obstacles at you. Stay strong and you'll this too will pass....

  11. #11
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    in a shoe
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    well my firend i would say fu** the uncle and tell him to mind his own business. you got to do waht is right for your family and yourself. never in life do anything that others want to you to do just cause others want you to do it.

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