No, it's not shallow that it bothers you. You're being honest with yourself and you should. She is a package deal and there is no other way around it. I have used a phrase in my life which has worked for me every time, "when in doubt don't". Not all people have a desire to be parents. My husband and I tried to have children for years and I never got pregnant- took all the test and everything, so now when I need a kid-fix I get one or more of my neices and nephews. We're up to approx. 32 neices and nephews, ages range from newborn to 20. I tell ya ej...I'm glad I don't have any kids. I hear all my brothers and sisters and I say sucks to be you (in a joking way). Tony and I have the freedom to do whatever we want and its a beatiful thing. Like I say not everyone needs to breed. I love kids, trust me, I luv them. I'm around them ALOT, but at the same time, I'm glad I don't have any.