How to talk to your parents

[freeringo]

This has been on my mind for weeks now and it is time to get it out.
I can't figure out anything to talk to my parents about anymore.

The last time I visited with them went like this.

Hey I won $200 playing poker last weekend
When are you going to find a job I'm 49 christ sakes

My dog is really a good boy isn't he.
You focus to much on your dog

Mary got real good grades in school
That girl can't even tell time on a real clock and she can't use a broom.

then my Dad says on the last 2 hours of our visit.

I noticed you didn't say anything about Sarah Palin
So I put in my 2 cents worth saying I thought she was a whack job
and he gets all mad and tells me to shut up.

As we are leaving, the news was about Michael Jacksons death
and they turn off the TV and start ranting about why does the media
glorify a pediPhile.

BY the way, the whole time my dad had control of the TV I had to watch the home Improvement channel.
I was bad mouthed earlier for commenting on how funny a 1950's movie that I watched in the morning.


I now have another visit coming up and I can't think of anything to talk about with my parents.

Very very sad.

I try so hard to be positive around them

But my last visit I called my dad an asshole

fun stuff

You would think that people in their 70's would be more happy and positive.

They are great parents and have big hearts but they are so FN stuffy and narrow minded.

PS they hate OBAMA
What's to hate?
He has the toughest job in the world and he is being honest with Americans and the world while spreading good will.

What more can we ask for.

I am dreading my visit because my best approach right now is to just keep my mouth shut and be a nice guy.

I sure don't want to teach an old dog new tricks
I'll get bit

[navuta]

Hey... very nice post...
Well done...
I dont care if my parents will hate me.. BUT I ALWYAS tell than the truth... always... I dont care if they will hate me, or they will love me... I think the truth is the most important thing on any family... I just hate how people can be so fake in life.. iven with their friends and familty... thats upset me...
I think I dont need to speak to say the truth... I might be shut up and they will understand what your fellings are,, they might not understand... but wont be the same again... being fake just make the fakeness goes on and on...

BE REAL.. BE THE TRUTH... BE YOURSELF...
DONT WORRY WHAT THEY WILL THINK...
THE IMPORTANT IS WHA U THINK ABOUT YOURSELF...

PS: I dont hate Obama... but i really dont like him...lol.. All puppets od the devil...lol...

FREE TO BE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[freeringo]

Thats the problem
I am truthfull

I try so hard to show them that we as a family are so happy and content
in our lives right now and they don't see our joy.
They worry about stuff like
if you die tomorrow, what is Vicki and Mary going to do?
Your Dad and I can't afford to support them.

Where is that coming from?

All this because I tested positive for pot on a life Insurance Exam.
Big whoop

I never wanted life Insurance anyway
They don't understand that it would be throwing money away because we on medical right now and when my wife and I die, the state will be right there to collect anything they feel we need to pay back plus interest.
They should just put the $80 amonth in a roth Ira for my daughter and shut up.
They dont know crap about the system
Until last year they had no idea what an Earned income credit was.
Now that they do, they hate Obama even more. Even though it has been around for years.

Live in my shoes before you judge me.

[Pokerkitty6]

My parents are divorced since I'm 9 years old and they both can be a pain in the ***, but I love them. My Mom has cried the no money story my whole life, so I figure, I can't miss what I never had. I've always told my Dad, I wish I had a rich Dad and he would always say, I wish I had a rich daughter. My Dad has called me everyday for as long as I can remember. Its hard to think of a day when he didn't call. He never likes my hair, my clothes, or my weight, he always has something negative to say about me and the choices I have made in life and yet I love to get his phone calls. He is going to be 70 in August and a very cool dad, rides a Harley, his hair and clothes perfect all the time. He has always been a ladies man and I have learned alot from him, but sometimes I just want to say Dad you're not perfect. I just say goodbye, love you and hang up before I say something I might regret. In person, I just tell him, I'm going to leave if he starts getting on case too much. We are very honest with each other, sometimes too honest. My Mom has popped out 10 babies and she is not very nuturing. It sounds strange, but its almost like she doesn't how. There was not alot of hugs, kisses, and I love you's with her mother. She was an only child. I learned thru a boyfriends family at 15 years old how to hug, kiss and tell my family I love them. Every since I make sure I hug my family and tell them I love them every single time I see them, no matter what. It's good for my soul. You have to do whats best for you in this world. The best advice my Dad ever gave me was "Depend on yourself because you can't depend on anyone else"

[freeringo]

I am glad to hear a similar story to mine.

I am 1 of three kids and I have the only family that is intact and loving and happy, yet I get all the grief.

[taylovesthebeatles]

I have much the same problems as you and Pokerkitty with my parents, although it manifests itself differently. It seems like especially in the last few years, we haven't been able to understand each other at all. I'm not saying they don't try to understand where I'm coming from or what I'm trying to say, because they probably do a little, but it seems like most of the time I'm the one trying to make compromises and apologize for everything and try to modify my behavior to fit them (especially my mom) and my suggestions to them about what I'm really trying to say or what I mean just go in one ear and out the other.

Because of my handicap, my parents have to be A LOT more involved in my life than the average parent, which I understand and appreciate, I really do. It just seems to me (and everyone else) that they try to take advantage of that a lot. For example as I was telling Lori a while ago, they prefer to pay someone to help take care of me during the day and stay with me in my apartment half the time and come home the other half of the nights to save money, because they don't want Klink doing it even though he takes care of me better than anyone else. Now the caregiver I have understands all this and lets him do most of it so we can have more freedom to do our own thing, and spend more time together. But my point is since they insist on paying for those kind of services for me and not letting my fiance do it for free, it really limits what I can do and a lot of the time we end up making excuses and taking weekend trips or whatever without telling them about it. It's not that they don't trust him, at least not entirely, but they'd just rather pay someone to do it, which I think is stupid.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that they're willing and able to pay for my schooling and apartment as well as the best care possible for me, it just feels like a ton of pressure sometimes because in order to keep my life stabalized and as independent as possible, I have to do so many things under their rules (and this isn't about something as simple as them opposing Klink and I sleeping together or anything silly like that) and their way of doing things, and so many times I just feel stuck.

Add to that that my mom always seems to find something wrong or worth improvement in every situation, and really doesn't know how to focus on the positive in life, ad oftentimes it seems there is nothing I or anyone else can do right. It's very frustrating. So I definitely sympathize with you.

*hugs to you both*

[navuta]

Im with my mom right now.
she is so nice... i love her so much...
she is so inteligent and funy and fun...
she s the best possible...
And im saying the truth....

[PANAMHIEST]

I guess i have some really cool parents. They both play poker, they truck

drive for a living, if i needed a place to stay for me and my family they would

let me stay. They are 60s-70-70s flower power hippies, and they both still

occasionally smoke a dubbie in rememberance of the good times. They could

care a less what I wanted to do for a living, wether it be poker, trucking, or whatever.


My best guess is that maybe yall are gonna have to get your hands dirty so

to speak, and tell em how ya feel. Just flat out say "hey dad, I feel like I

cant talk to you about anything, and I feel like there is this underlining

anamosity every time i come over, and i just dont feel like that is how family

should be." See what they say and get to the bottom of it. Itll make ya feel better, plus your folks will understand.

[Hydrotrip]

I just moved back in with my parents to finish up my undergrad; 2 weeks left. Don't worry about making them proud or impressed, just eat their food and drink their booze, they will love you anyway. Theyre family baby.

[eejit101]

ill insult ppl if i comment.

Just go for less time or something

[targetguy1]

talking to my dad is like talking to the wall. everytime i call him its the same questions every freaking time. i answer them differently now to really screw with him.

i find the best way to talk to parents the same as i do my son. yes yes yeah oh really you dont say so and so on. it might be wrong but nothing he says interest me nor does it make since have the time.

[KaciBlakely]

Okay I've kind of stayed away from talking on this thread so I could collect my thoughts on the subject and so not to be harsh with what I'm about to say about my mother and father.

I'm from a military family and I moved around alot so that was part of the reason I think that I thought they were horrible parents growing up but I have since changed my mind.

I'm also a middle child therefore I always felt like I was just got stuck and never got anything I wanted just because.

Unlike my other sisters because My older sister got anything because she was first born.

And my younger sister got anything she wanted because she was the baby.

I felt this was unfair my entire life because even though they told us they loved us equally, this always stood out to me for some reason.

That's the one thing I'm fearful of in having children.

I never want my child/future children to ever feel inadequate in relation to his/her/their siblings like I did when I was growing up.

Since this happened I have a hard time talking to my parents and it may seem something stupid to fight over, but it's ccontinued from things growing up to finding it hard to converse to my parents about important things because I feel like they would just not care to listen.

It's personally hard to have a good relationship with my parents and it is something I have to work at everyday.

It sucks sometimes, most of the time, but it's life and you have to deal with it.

[freeringo]

Thanks everyone for their imput.

I am so proud that my wife and I can talk honestly and openly to all three of our kids. We never judge them and try to help them when we can.

I think that the evolution of change has arrived and we absolutely live in a new world now.

Too bad our parents are stuck in the old world.
They can keep it.

Welcome new world and welcome new friends.

If you don't like your family, find or make one you do like.
Like our NDN family, God Bless Everyone here.

[Pokerkitty6]

My husband and I are two of the most honest people you'll ever meet. I learned along time ago, never judge anyone. I like living that way and I love my NDN family.

[KaciBlakely]

Thanks everyone for their imput.

I am so proud that my wife and I can talk honestly and openly to all three of our kids. We never judge them and try to help them when we can.

I think that the evolution of change has arrived and we absolutely live in a new world now.

Too bad our parents are stuck in the old world.
They can keep it.

Welcome new world and welcome new friends.

If you don't like your family, find or make one you do like.
Like our NDN family, God Bless Everyone here.

I completely agree.

It doesn't matter if we don't know each other personally but I feel like we on NDN are a family away from our own.

I know if we ever need anything we can just make a post and can get advice on the matter, or just vent and people will support us.

Our new world full of technology and open-mindedness is so much better than the one are parents that are old and grumpy and can shove it.

It's totally there fault if they are going to be stuck in a rut, but I'm not gonna let it effect the way I choose to live my life.

[area206]

Both of my parents are divorced. They have been unhappily married for twenty years and were together because of my sister and I to have both parents together.

I am very afraid of my dad even til this day. His is very bigger than me. yes he has hit me and he is an alcoholic. What can you do about that. He forced me to play football in high school and I am glad he did, but what can I say. I had to do what he said. Definitely can't upset a drunk in the house. I probably talk to my dad once every two weeks. If we do talk its the same thing how your doing, etc... Even if we were face to face the only thing that we would talk about is sports and bowling. I guess that is good enough for me. I am not saying that he was a good dad as he supported his family and tried to be there for us. I would have thought I would have outgrown him and be stronger just in case we were to get in a fight, but he is still muscular and weighs about 250 so I can't compete with that.

As for my mom we can't really talk about anything but my son. She is very nosy but I don't think she realizes that. She always asks questions which can be very annoying but I have to respect her. She has helped my family enough to get us out of debt and take care of my son and provide for us as well. Can't really argue with that, but I have nothing to say to her. When she come over to the apartment she always thinks she smells marijuana and always thinks that I am high on drugs. I do understand where she is coming from as I used to do a bunch of drugs in my early twenties, but it can get annoying. It almost comes to a point where I just want to say F*** you to her because her questions are very condescending. I have to lie to her sometimes to get her off my back. Is that wrong??? I don't think so, but whatever.

All I can say is that I am grateful to still have my parents alive and talk too. Even though we don't talk as much I still think that family is important. Some others replied as to be truthful to your parents. As for me I have to lie all the time and I can't be myself around them. I learned that it causes less drama if I lie and I definitely don't need that in my life as I am stressed enough already.