How to talk to your parents

[Pokerkitty6]

My parents are divorced since I'm 9 years old and they both can be a pain in the ***, but I love them. My Mom has cried the no money story my whole life, so I figure, I can't miss what I never had. I've always told my Dad, I wish I had a rich Dad and he would always say, I wish I had a rich daughter. My Dad has called me everyday for as long as I can remember. Its hard to think of a day when he didn't call. He never likes my hair, my clothes, or my weight, he always has something negative to say about me and the choices I have made in life and yet I love to get his phone calls. He is going to be 70 in August and a very cool dad, rides a Harley, his hair and clothes perfect all the time. He has always been a ladies man and I have learned alot from him, but sometimes I just want to say Dad you're not perfect. I just say goodbye, love you and hang up before I say something I might regret. In person, I just tell him, I'm going to leave if he starts getting on case too much. We are very honest with each other, sometimes too honest. My Mom has popped out 10 babies and she is not very nuturing. It sounds strange, but its almost like she doesn't how. There was not alot of hugs, kisses, and I love you's with her mother. She was an only child. I learned thru a boyfriends family at 15 years old how to hug, kiss and tell my family I love them. Every since I make sure I hug my family and tell them I love them every single time I see them, no matter what. It's good for my soul. You have to do whats best for you in this world. The best advice my Dad ever gave me was "Depend on yourself because you can't depend on anyone else"

[freeringo]

I am glad to hear a similar story to mine.

I am 1 of three kids and I have the only family that is intact and loving and happy, yet I get all the grief.

[taylovesthebeatles]

I have much the same problems as you and Pokerkitty with my parents, although it manifests itself differently. It seems like especially in the last few years, we haven't been able to understand each other at all. I'm not saying they don't try to understand where I'm coming from or what I'm trying to say, because they probably do a little, but it seems like most of the time I'm the one trying to make compromises and apologize for everything and try to modify my behavior to fit them (especially my mom) and my suggestions to them about what I'm really trying to say or what I mean just go in one ear and out the other.

Because of my handicap, my parents have to be A LOT more involved in my life than the average parent, which I understand and appreciate, I really do. It just seems to me (and everyone else) that they try to take advantage of that a lot. For example as I was telling Lori a while ago, they prefer to pay someone to help take care of me during the day and stay with me in my apartment half the time and come home the other half of the nights to save money, because they don't want Klink doing it even though he takes care of me better than anyone else. Now the caregiver I have understands all this and lets him do most of it so we can have more freedom to do our own thing, and spend more time together. But my point is since they insist on paying for those kind of services for me and not letting my fiance do it for free, it really limits what I can do and a lot of the time we end up making excuses and taking weekend trips or whatever without telling them about it. It's not that they don't trust him, at least not entirely, but they'd just rather pay someone to do it, which I think is stupid.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that they're willing and able to pay for my schooling and apartment as well as the best care possible for me, it just feels like a ton of pressure sometimes because in order to keep my life stabalized and as independent as possible, I have to do so many things under their rules (and this isn't about something as simple as them opposing Klink and I sleeping together or anything silly like that) and their way of doing things, and so many times I just feel stuck.

Add to that that my mom always seems to find something wrong or worth improvement in every situation, and really doesn't know how to focus on the positive in life, ad oftentimes it seems there is nothing I or anyone else can do right. It's very frustrating. So I definitely sympathize with you.

*hugs to you both*

[navuta]

Im with my mom right now.
she is so nice... i love her so much...
she is so inteligent and funy and fun...
she s the best possible...
And im saying the truth....

[PANAMHIEST]

I guess i have some really cool parents. They both play poker, they truck

drive for a living, if i needed a place to stay for me and my family they would

let me stay. They are 60s-70-70s flower power hippies, and they both still

occasionally smoke a dubbie in rememberance of the good times. They could

care a less what I wanted to do for a living, wether it be poker, trucking, or whatever.


My best guess is that maybe yall are gonna have to get your hands dirty so

to speak, and tell em how ya feel. Just flat out say "hey dad, I feel like I

cant talk to you about anything, and I feel like there is this underlining

anamosity every time i come over, and i just dont feel like that is how family

should be." See what they say and get to the bottom of it. Itll make ya feel better, plus your folks will understand.