Give your honest opinions please.

[KaciBlakely]

I'm about to make a really important post.

About writing and my craft.

At least I think it's important and it means something to me so I will show you some writing and then I'll delve into the deeper stuff.

These are some short free verse poems I've written and maybe some other stuff that you won't find anywhere else on the net.

I have a copyright with all of my writing samples that I'm putting up here so it won't really matter.

I'm always prepared and I am a book editor so I'm in touch with people to get those things done.

Anyways here's the samples And I'd like you to tell me your honest opinion.

Thanks.
__________________________________________________ _________

My memory's always better when I've had a drink or two.
It's when my conservative side comes out
And I allow myself to hate you.
I'm reminded of the betrayal you and her had against me.
I don't have to pretend it's not there,
I can actually let my feelings effect me.
My Memory's always better when I've had a drink or two.
It's when my conservative side comes out
And I allow myself to hate you.

__________________________________________________ _________

I'm changing my concentration.
Just for a while.
I'm gonna get in my car.
And drive fifty miles.
With my windows down and the stereo blasting.
With my hair down and the cd's expressing my feelings.
__________________________________________________ _________

This is not good-bye, you said.
And you said it like you meant it.
And but of course I was childish enough to believe it.
And the other lies that slipped through your teeth.
Now I'm down a road of destruction,
Because I was in a love too deep.
__________________________________________________ _________

I thought all the words I wrote for you
Would be enough.
I thought everything I needed to say
Was already said.
I didn't think I needed to tell you I love you
Anymore than I told you.
I didn't think I messed up that night
After I kissed you.
I guess I was wrong.
__________________________________________________ _________

Just to let you guys know, this one is a song.

Vs.1 The summer breeze,
Is turning rapidly
And the gossip is spreading
People talking about you and me.
A picture is taken
And sent to you by text.
You found out
And you act like you saw us having sex.

Chorus. But I wasn't kissing him,
I was only whispering
In his mouth,
And I'm sorry you found out.
We weren't as discreet
As we thought we were.
It happened so fast,
And now it's all a blur.

Vs.2 I remember you confronting me,
Out on the street.
You were so angry ,
Your eyes like red heat.
We're not friends anymore,
That's what you told me,
Over one stupid guy,
Our friendships ending.
And it's so sad, because to me,
He wasn't Anything.

Chorus. Oh I wasn't kissing him, I was only whispering
In his mouth,
And I'm sorry you found out.
We weren't as discreet
As we thought we were.
It happened so fast,
And now it's all a blur.

Chorus. Oh I wasn't kissing him, I was only whispering
In his mouth,
And I'm sorry you found out.
We weren't as discreet
As we thought we were.
It happened so fast,
And now it's all a blur.

__________________________________________________ _________

Okay so that is all I have for right now, and this really means a lot to me. Not just a stupid post meant for spam if any of you were thinking that.

This is something I am sharing because I feel comfortable so please criticize but encourage me too.

Thanks.

[freeringo]

"I was only whispering
In his mouth"


I sense a bit of denial in your words.
I hope your new baby brings out more positive
creations form you.
It sounds like you have had an emotional rocky road.
Don't get me wrong, People have written their best stuff when they are emotionally beaten down.
I just feel that your best stuff is yet come.
Keep working on it.

A taste of my negative past.
I wrote a song that goes something like this:

I'm not a very nice guy
I want to spit in your eye.
It's who I am
and I'll be damned forever.
You say that's tough
I've had enough of you.

Look at this world we live in
It's nothing but a piece of trash
I'm your friendly garbage man
You can go kiss my a--.

It's who I am
and I'll be damned forever.
You say that's tough
I've had enough of you.

Then another I wrote:

sample:

You keep me hanging on ....Baby
I don't know what to do
You got my head spinninng, girl
THINK AGAIN

I need you
I need you
Need your love
Need your love

You broke my heart,
One more time
You make me crazy
all the time
I'm down on my knees
I'm begging you please
THINK AGAIN

I need you
I need you
Need your love
Need your love

I______ NEED_______ YOU_____________

[KaciBlakely]

Yeah ringo I have a bit of a bumpy road.

Those songs were mainly written before I met my husband, I think all of them were actually.

I don't think I'm fully confident in my songs, but I love to write freeverse even if nothing comes of it, and it's only just for me.

I love, love, love your song.

It reminds me of many things I have wanted to do to others for some reason.

And I think alot of really good stuff, comes out through pain because people use it as an outlet, but what do I know?

I'm just a book editor and want-to-be author.