What is the…difference between a large pizza and a professional poker player?
The large pizza can feed a family of four.

I was playing poker…with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

From the new hand nicknames department…AK: Anna Kournikova. Looks great. Never wins.

What is the…difference between prayer in a church and at the poker table?
At the poker table, you really mean it.

Two rules for…success in poker:
1) Never tell everything you know.

From the poker dictionary: lottery (noun):
A tax on people who are bad at math.

Don’t Ever…use a fake Jamaican accent at a Caribbean Stud Poker table.

How do you…get a sweet little 80-year old woman to yell (^#&^?
Get another sweet little 80-year old woman to yell “BINGO!”

How do you…get a professional poker player off your doorstep?
Pay him for the pizza.

What is the…difference between a poker player and a dog?
The dog will eventually stop whining.