Yes, you are weird. I realize everybody farts that's a given. But for Christ sake, Tay you don't have to grunt and do it loud. Just do it quietly and grab their head pull em toward ya and ask em to help you sniff it up. And shut the door when ya take a dump if they have to come in do a courtesy flush, it's the polite thing to do. lol
Other wise you could belch everywhere in public. Hell burp a song to her, you won't have to dump her, Because she will never come back.