A Classic Rabbit Yarn

A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of beer

and a ham and cheese toastie?' The barman is amazed but gives the rabbit a

pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and

eats the toastie, he then leaves.

The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer and a

ham and cheese toastie. The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the

extra drinkers in the pub (because word gets round) gives the rabbit the pint

and the toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.

The next night, the pub is packed, in walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of

beer and a ham and cheese toastie, please barman.' The crowd is hushed as

the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie and then burst into applause

as the rabbit wolfs them down.

The next night there is standing room only in the pub, coaches have been

laid on for the crowds of patrons attending, the barman is making more

money in one week than he did all last year. In walks the rabbit and says, 'A

pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie, please barman, 'smiling and

accepting the tributes of the masses. The barman says, 'I'm sorry rabbit, old

mate, old mucker but we are right out of them ham and cheese toasties' .

The rabbit looks aghast, the crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when

the barman clears his throat nervously and says, 'We do have a very nice

Cheese and Onion Toastie.' The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, 'Are

you sure I will like it?' The masses bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.

The barman, with a roguish smile says, 'Do you think that I would let down

one of my best friends, I know you'll love it.' Ok, 'says the rabbit, 'I'll have a

pint of beer and a cheese and onion toastie'. The pub erupts with glee as the

rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie, he then waves to the crowd

and leaves.... .....

NEVER TO RETURN

»One year later in the now impoverished public house, the barman (who has

only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his) calls time. When he is

cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above

the bar. The barman says, 'Who are you?' To which he is answered, 'I am the

ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.' The barman

says, 'I remember you, you made me famous, you would come in every night

and have a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie, masses came to see

you and this place was famous.' The rabbit says, 'Yes I know.' The barman

said, 'I remember, on your last night we didn't have any ham and cheese

toasties, you had a cheese and onion one instead.' The rabbit said, 'Yes, you

promised me that I would love it' . The barman said, 'You never came back,

what happened?'I DIED' , said the rabbit.' NO!' said the barman, 'what from?'

After a short pause,the rabbit said.............................................. ........

' Mixin' -me-toasties'