Preparing you for a job interview survey

[freeringo]

Have you been on a job interview where you were asked some off the wall questions? You prepare for every question and they toss a question at you that has you squirming in your seat.
Well, this is happening alot these days for a reason.
Employers are in to phycological profiling and you better be prepared.

I will ask 7 questions and then evalute your responses.
I ask that Eejit evalute each questionaire as well.

Be thoughtful.

1. If you had a brick, what would you do with it?

2. If you were invisable for 1 day, what would you do and why?

3. If a genie gave you 1 wish, what would your wish be?

4. If you were a piece a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be?

5. Describe why you are like a tennis ball?

6. How many times a month do you do laundry?

7. Why would we hire you instead of someone more qualified?

Be careful, a bad answer will get your resume canned. filed permantly
Good luck job hunters

[eejit101]

1. If you had a brick, what would you do with it?

Carve it out and make it into an ashtray

2. If you were invisable for 1 day, what would you do and why?

Have some fun at first, tp people on the shoulder and run away. Then probably rob a bank.

3. If a genie gave you 1 wish, what would your wish be?

More wishes! Seriously, probably to win my next 10 poker tournaments.

4. If you were a piece a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be?

A banana. As i like bananas.

5. Describe why you are like a tennis ball?

As im often being hit on

6. How many times a month do you do laundry?

4.

7. Why would we hire you instead of someone more qualified?


As i have the basic skills required for the job, but as i havent been programmed into a specific way of doing things previously, its leaves you free to mould me into the perfect person for this job, rather than take on someone who already has been trained completely, but maybe brings some things to the table that you dont want, where as i am a blank canvas that comes with no previous owners.

[freeringo]

1. If you had a brick, what would you do with it?

Carve it out and make it into an ashtray

2. If you were invisable for 1 day, what would you do and why?

Have some fun at first, tp people on the shoulder and run away. Then probably rob a bank.

3. If a genie gave you 1 wish, what would your wish be?

More wishes! Seriously, probably to win my next 10 poker tournaments.

4. If you were a piece a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be?

A banana. As i like bananas.

5. Describe why you are like a tennis ball?

As im often being hit on

6. How many times a month do you do laundry?

4.

7. Why would we hire you instead of someone more qualified?


As i have the basic skills required for the job, but as i havent been programmed into a specific way of doing things previously, its leaves you free to mould me into the perfect person for this job, rather than take on someone who already has been trained completely, but maybe brings some things to the table that you dont want, where as i am a blank canvas that comes with no previous owners.

Dear Mr. Eejit101,
Thank you for applying with our company.
Though we find your invisibilty answer a bit disturbing (rob a bank).
We feel that the rest of your answers were quite impressive.
You are hired. Congratulations

[BnLM5]

Well that sucks! I guess you won't be taking any more applications. Some interviewer you are.

[targetguy1]

1. If you had a brick, what would you do with it?
well my back door doesnt like to stay open when i open it.....so i would use it as a door stop if i want to keep it open and air the house out.

2. If you were invisable for 1 day, what would you do and why?
i would haunt my old boss and make here day a living hell for laying me off the week before christmas.

3. If a genie gave you 1 wish, what would your wish be?
world peace. these times are scary for anyone in any parts of this world. why cant we all get along. oh yeah its greed.

4. If you were a piece a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be?
i would like to be a stawberry because most women like to put them in there mouth.

5. Describe why you are like a tennis ball?
you hit me around all you want and beat me up but i am still who i am ...a tennis ball.

6. How many times a month do you do laundry?
as needed.
when the basket fills up it mean its time to do it. sometimes 3 or 4 times a month.

7. Why would we hire you instead of someone more qualified?
because i am the right guy and highly quailied for this job. if you ask me i am too quailied for this postion but in this economy i am will to take a pay cut to make ends meet for the time being. maybe if i am here long enough maybe i can move up the ladder.

[freeringo]

Well that sucks! I guess you won't be taking any more applications. Some interviewer you are.

There are 5 openings and we are keeping apps current in case a new hire doesn't work out.
Change your attitude sister or you will be black listed from any future employment.

[BnLM5]

There are 5 openings and we are keeping apps current in case a new hire doesn't work out.
Change your attitude sister or you will be black listed from any future employment.

Lol, you are so funny Ringo!

[freeringo]

1. If you had a brick, what would you do with it?
well my back door doesnt like to stay open when i open it.....so i would use it as a door stop if i want to keep it open and air the house out.

2. If you were invisable for 1 day, what would you do and why?
i would haunt my old boss and make here day a living hell for laying me off the week before christmas.

3. If a genie gave you 1 wish, what would your wish be?
world peace. these times are scary for anyone in any parts of this world. why cant we all get along. oh yeah its greed.

4. If you were a piece a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be?
i would like to be a stawberry because most women like to put them in there mouth.

5. Describe why you are like a tennis ball?
you hit me around all you want and beat me up but i am still who i am ...a tennis ball.

6. How many times a month do you do laundry?
as needed.
when the basket fills up it mean its time to do it. sometimes 3 or 4 times a month.

7. Why would we hire you instead of someone more qualified?
because i am the right guy and highly quailied for this job. if you ask me i am too quailied for this postion but in this economy i am will to take a pay cut to make ends meet for the time being. maybe if i am here long enough maybe i can move up the ladder.

Dear Mister Targetguy,
We have reviewed your application just once and find you an undesirable candidate for employment. Your invisibilty answer breaks ours and most companys harrassment rules. Your risk factor is too great for us to consider you for any future employment as well. Please don't re-apply.

[targetguy1]

Dear Mister Targetguy,
We have reviewed your application just once and find you an undesirable candidate for employment. Your invisibilty answer breaks ours and most companys harrassment rules. Your risk factor is too great for us to consider you for any future employment as well. Please don't re-apply.

same song different day. at least you responded in a timely manner to my app. thanks for nothing.

[GloBug]

1. If you had a brick, what would you do with it?
well i would give it to my girls and have them do a paintning art project with it.

2. If you were invisable for 1 day, what would you do and why?
well if was invisible for the day i would follow president obama for the day and see what a real president does for a day.

3. If a genie gave you 1 wish, what would your wish be?
well with 1 wish i would like to be granted a piece of mind that my kids would be taken care of.

4. If you were a piece a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be?
if i was a piece of fruit i would be a mango as they are sweet and sour.

5. Describe why you are like a tennis ball?
well i have balls so thats the best way to describe it.

6. How many times a month do you do laundry?
well monthly wow i do lots of loads. i have 2 kids that run thru clothes like no tomorrow and i have my wife too so i would say about 25 loads.

7. Why would we hire you instead of someone more qualified?
well i am very self motiviated person and i dont take sh it from no one. other than that they higher qualified person is lying to u.

[freeringo]

1. If you had a brick, what would you do with it?
well i would give it to my girls and have them do a paintning art project with it.

2. If you were invisable for 1 day, what would you do and why?
well if was invisible for the day i would follow president obama for the day and see what a real president does for a day.

3. If a genie gave you 1 wish, what would your wish be?
well with 1 wish i would like to be granted a piece of mind that my kids would be taken care of.

4. If you were a piece a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be?
if i was a piece of fruit i would be a mango as they are sweet and sour.

5. Describe why you are like a tennis ball?
well i have balls so thats the best way to describe it.

6. How many times a month do you do laundry?
well monthly wow i do lots of loads. i have 2 kids that run thru clothes like no tomorrow and i have my wife too so i would say about 25 loads.

7. Why would we hire you instead of someone more qualified?
well i am very self motiviated person and i dont take sh it from no one. other than that they higher qualified person is lying to u.

Dear Mr. Globug,
We have considered your application and believe you to be a excellent candidate for the traditional male duties. However, we would like you to come in for a second interview. Please be prepared to give blood.

[GloBug]

Dear Mr. Globug,
We have considered your application and believe you to be a excellent candidate for the traditional male duties. However, we would like you to come in for a second interview. Please be prepared to give blood.

why i would like to thank you for the consideration. i would gladly donate blood as i do already for the stanford blood drive.

[freeringo]

why i would like to thank you for the consideration. i would gladly donate blood as i do already for the stanford blood drive.

Dear Mr. Globug,
Our previous letter to you was in error in regards to a blood test.
Our legal team has advised us that we have no legal right to ask for blood for drug testing purposes. However, we do ask that you supply us with a sample of your hair.

[GloBug]

Dear Mr. Globug,
Our previous letter to you was in error in regards to a blood test.
Our legal team has advised us that we have no legal right to ask for blood for drug testing purposes. However, we do ask that you supply us with a sample of your hair.

sure i got no problem with that do u have a color preference. i some that are black , some that are black with blonde tints due to sun and i got gray ones. not sure if i can give u one of those as i have benn told that if u pull 1 then 3 more grow back. but if it decides me on getting the job i will be more than happy to do it. i would get greys working for your company anyways. lol

[BnLM5]

Dear Mr. Globug,
Our previous letter to you was in error in regards to a blood test.
Our legal team has advised us that we have no legal right to ask for blood for drug testing purposes. However, we do ask that you supply us with a sample of your hair.

I think you should take the blood too. I will draw it for you! This would be fun!

[eejit101]

lol, imagine getting Glos blood in a operation.... youd be stoned for a week

[GloBug]

lol, imagine getting Glos blood in a operation.... youd be stoned for a week

thats what makes it good. u wont need a medicinal marijauna card. u just get a nice injection. lol

[taylovesthebeatles]

1. If you had a brick, what would you do with it? Find some more where that one came from and build a house!

2. If you were invisable for 1 day, what would you do and why? I'd fly around where I was least expected so I could try and figure out what people really thought about me when I "wasn't there" and then take action if I felt the need to do so.

3. If a genie gave you 1 wish, what would your wish be? That my life would go more smoothly and like normal people's. Especially in regards to my wedding and marriage. Or just generally for more peace and harmony in the world, not just for me.

4. If you were a piece a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be? A kiwi- fuzzy outside, soft and sweet inside

5. Describe why you are like a tennis ball? I'm a bouncy happy person when I can be, but inside sometimes I have a twisted complicated soul.

6. How many times a month do you do laundry? Too damn many!

7. Why would we hire you instead of someone more qualified? Because I can show the human side of the company, everything doesn't have to be perfect to be good.

[freeringo]

1. If you had a brick, what would you do with it? Find some more where that one came from and build a house!

2. If you were invisable for 1 day, what would you do and why? I'd fly around where I was least expected so I could try and figure out what people really thought about me when I "wasn't there" and then take action if I felt the need to do so.

3. If a genie gave you 1 wish, what would your wish be? That my life would go more smoothly and like normal people's. Especially in regards to my wedding and marriage. Or just generally for more peace and harmony in the world, not just for me.

4. If you were a piece a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be? A kiwi- fuzzy outside, soft and sweet inside

5. Describe why you are like a tennis ball? I'm a bouncy happy person when I can be, but inside sometimes I have a twisted complicated soul.

6. How many times a month do you do laundry? Too damn many!

7. Why would we hire you instead of someone more qualified? Because I can show the human side of the company, everything doesn't have to be perfect to be good.

Dear Miss Tay.
Your qualifications are outstanding. However, your answer to the invisiblilty
questions concern us. What did you mean by " then take action if I felt the need to do so." If hired, we would need assurance that you would not violate any company policies. We would like to interview a second time.

[BnLM5]

You have a twisted and complicated soul? Why is this so? Or why do you think that?

[eejit101]

Cool, only i got hired so far.

Id hire Glo bug tho, and someone called Sassy, though i havent recieved a new application answering these questions

Everyone else doesnt care!

[taylovesthebeatles]

You have a twisted and complicated soul? Why is this so? Or why do you think that?

Well I just meant there are layers to me and sometimes things aren't always as happy as they seem. But I'm far from emo, lol. No worries there!

[0maxpower0]

figure id answer as if id be in an interview
1. If you had a brick, what would you do with it?
set down the first brick of a homeless shelter

2. If you were invisable for 1 day, what would you do and why?
if i were invisIble for a day, Id sit in on the conversations of political leaders and captains of industry

3. If a genie gave you 1 wish, what would your wish be?
no one anywhere would go without food water shelter

4. If you were a piece a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be?
blueberry, every part of me is edible and im full of antioxidants and vitamins

5. Describe why you are like a tennis ball?
despite external pressures of all sorts, i maintain a uniformity that is unchanged

6. How many times a month do you do laundry?
8 times a month, twice a week

7. Why would we hire you instead of someone more qualified?
the intangibles; qualifications mean nothing if there is no drive to accomplish, or the means by which one does accomplish things are not neccessarily routed in something that is essentially good. Ethics and motivation are as important if not more than qualifications.

[taylovesthebeatles]

Dear Miss Tay.
Your qualifications are outstanding. However, your answer to the invisiblilty
questions concern us. What did you mean by " then take action if I felt the need to do so." If hired, we would need assurance that you would not violate any company policies. We would like to interview a second time.

I just meant that I'd un-invisible myself and try to figure out why they felt that way. Nothing serious.

[eejit101]

Id be tempted to hire you maxpower, but those answers sound too much like what id want to hear.

Im a big fan of personality shinging thru, rather than utter bull****