Preparing you for a job interview survey

[freeringo]

Have you been on a job interview where you were asked some off the wall questions? You prepare for every question and they toss a question at you that has you squirming in your seat.
Well, this is happening alot these days for a reason.
Employers are in to phycological profiling and you better be prepared.

I will ask 7 questions and then evalute your responses.
I ask that Eejit evalute each questionaire as well.

Be thoughtful.

1. If you had a brick, what would you do with it?

2. If you were invisable for 1 day, what would you do and why?

3. If a genie gave you 1 wish, what would your wish be?

4. If you were a piece a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be?

5. Describe why you are like a tennis ball?

6. How many times a month do you do laundry?

7. Why would we hire you instead of someone more qualified?

Be careful, a bad answer will get your resume canned. filed permantly
Good luck job hunters

[GloBug]

Cool, only i got hired so far.

Id hire Glo bug tho, and someone called Sassy, though i havent recieved a new application answering these questions

Everyone else doesnt care!

lol u should deduct chips because she got that from a womens magazine like good house keeping. lol

[eejit101]

Yeah yeah.

I have no idea what your on about btw

[KaciBlakely]

1. If you had a brick, what would you do with it?
I'd carry it with me to the top of the mountains so I could lose more weight from my baby I'm carrying. Can you believe only 3 or so months.

2. If you were invisable for 1 day, what would you do and why?
Go and see what the queen of England does all day. It'd be awesome to see if she gets her kareoke on in her private quarters.

3. If a genie gave you 1 wish, what would your wish be?
To have enough money so my family and extended family be taken care of in this recession.

4. If you were a piece a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be?
I guess A Mango.

5. Describe why you are like a tennis ball?
Because I'm half white and have some indian/asian in me, so I am yellow-y too.

6. How many times a month do you do laundry?
I do my laundry every saturday morning. Well mine and my husband's. The lazy bastard won't do his own. lmfao.

7. Why would we hire you instead of someone more qualified?\
Because I am the most qualified. I don't deal with bs and like to get the job done so I can leave the office early and get some hot sex every other while.

[freeringo]

I just meant that I'd un-invisible myself and try to figure out why they felt that way. Nothing serious.

Your Hired

[taylovesthebeatles]

Your Hired

Wooo heck yeah! Thanks freeringo you're the best boss ever!

[freeringo]

figure id answer as if id be in an interview
1. If you had a brick, what would you do with it?
set down the first brick of a homeless shelter

2. If you were invisable for 1 day, what would you do and why?
if i were invisIble for a day, Id sit in on the conversations of political leaders and captains of industry

3. If a genie gave you 1 wish, what would your wish be?
no one anywhere would go without food water shelter

4. If you were a piece a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be?
blueberry, every part of me is edible and im full of antioxidants and vitamins

5. Describe why you are like a tennis ball?
despite external pressures of all sorts, i maintain a uniformity that is unchanged

6. How many times a month do you do laundry?
8 times a month, twice a week

7. Why would we hire you instead of someone more qualified?
the intangibles; qualifications mean nothing if there is no drive to accomplish, or the means by which one does accomplish things are not neccessarily routed in something that is essentially good. Ethics and motivation are as important if not more than qualifications.

Dear Mr. Omaxpower,
We have decided that you are over qualified for the position you applied for. However, there will be an opening in Management in 1 month.
May we contact you again when a more quality postion opens.

[freeringo]

1. If you had a brick, what would you do with it?
I'd carry it with me to the top of the mountains so I could lose more weight from my baby I'm carrying. Can you believe only 3 or so months.

2. If you were invisable for 1 day, what would you do and why?
Go and see what the queen of England does all day. It'd be awesome to see if she gets her kareoke on in her private quarters.

3. If a genie gave you 1 wish, what would your wish be?
To have enough money so my family and extended family be taken care of in this recession.

4. If you were a piece a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be?
I guess A Mango.

5. Describe why you are like a tennis ball?
Because I'm half white and have some indian/asian in me, so I am yellow-y too.

6. How many times a month do you do laundry?
I do my laundry every saturday morning. Well mine and my husband's. The lazy bastard won't do his own. lmfao.

7. Why would we hire you instead of someone more qualified?\
Because I am the most qualified. I don't deal with bs and like to get the job done so I can leave the office early and get some hot sex every other while.

Dear Kaci,
Though we do need an asian/ indian employee to meet our affirmative action quota, your pregnancy being in it's late term disqualifies you from any present consideration. Please re-apply after you have had your baby.

[KaciBlakely]

That's discrimination. And I'll file a law suit if I do not get hired!

[taylovesthebeatles]

That's discrimination. And I'll file a law suit if I do not get hired!

I agree with Kaci! Bad freeringo, no bone for you!

[freeringo]

That's discrimination. And I'll file a law suit if I do not get hired!

Dear Kaci,
The laws have changed for pregnant women. Under the Maturnity leave act,
women 6 month pregnant and beyond can not be hired.
If you still feel a lawsuit is neccesary, be informed that we retain a full time legal department.

[eejit101]

Run by me.

So your screwed

[KaciBlakely]

I'm due in November so I am not a full six months yet. Therefore your theory is screwed and your reason for not hiring me is not right. I have four and a half months to go so I'm not six months yet.

So I do get hired or I should, yes? Yes.

[freeringo]

I'm due in November so I am not a full six months yet. Therefore your theory is screwed and your reason for not hiring me is not right. I have four and a half months to go so I'm not six months yet.

So I do get hired or I should, yes? Yes.

Dear Kaci,
We regret to inform you that we have misplaced your application.
If you could re-apply, we can re interview you immediatly.

[KaciBlakely]

Okay darn it. Please don't misplace this one.

This is me reapplying. Will I get hired or not?

1. If you had a brick, what would you do with it?
I'd carry it with me to the top of the mountains so I could lose more weight from my baby I'm carrying. -Due in November so not yet 6 months, just to let you be aware.

2. If you were invisable for 1 day, what would you do and why?
Go and see what the queen of England does all day. It'd be awesome to see if she gets her kareoke on in her private quarters.

3. If a genie gave you 1 wish, what would your wish be?
To have enough money so my family and extended family be taken care of in this recession.

4. If you were a piece a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be?
I guess A Mango.

5. Describe why you are like a tennis ball?
Because I'm half white and have some indian/asian in me, so I am yellow-y too.

6. How many times a month do you do laundry?
I do my laundry every saturday morning. Well mine and my husband's. The lazy bastard won't do his own. lmfao.

7. Why would we hire you instead of someone more qualified?
Because I am the most qualified. I don't deal with bs and like to get the job done so I can leave the office early and get some hot sex every other while.

[freeringo]

Okay darn it. Please don't misplace this one.

This is me reapplying. Will I get hired or not?

1. If you had a brick, what would you do with it?
I'd carry it with me to the top of the mountains so I could lose more weight from my baby I'm carrying. -Due in November so not yet 6 months, just to let you be aware.

2. If you were invisable for 1 day, what would you do and why?
Go and see what the queen of England does all day. It'd be awesome to see if she gets her kareoke on in her private quarters.

3. If a genie gave you 1 wish, what would your wish be?
To have enough money so my family and extended family be taken care of in this recession.

4. If you were a piece a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be?
I guess A Mango.

5. Describe why you are like a tennis ball?
Because I'm half white and have some indian/asian in me, so I am yellow-y too.

6. How many times a month do you do laundry?
I do my laundry every saturday morning. Well mine and my husband's. The lazy bastard won't do his own. lmfao.

7. Why would we hire you instead of someone more qualified?
Because I am the most qualified. I don't deal with bs and like to get the job done so I can leave the office early and get some hot sex every other while.

Dear Kaci,
We would be honored to welcome you to our team.
You are hired.

*#%$@()#@@%

[NeverWinHere]

1. If you had a brick, what would you do with it?

Chip it into pieces, then use the pieces to make some form of art.

2. If you were invisable for 1 day, what would you do and why?

I would make help people that were in desperate, vile situations.

3. If a genie gave you 1 wish, what would your wish be?

That my daughter grows up to be a strong, happy woman, with strong moral values.

4. If you were a piece a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be?

I would say a grapefruit, I may seem bitter, but with a bit of sugar, I am quite pleasant

5. Describe why you are like a tennis ball?

I am like a tennis ball because I am bouncy, meaning I am always doing something.

6. How many times a month do you do laundry?

16-18

7. Why would we hire you instead of someone more qualified?

Because I am very strong willed and strong minded, and always get the job done.

[eejit101]

Screw moral values, you should hope shes a virgin till she is 44 or something

[freeringo]

1. If you had a brick, what would you do with it?

Chip it into pieces, then use the pieces to make some form of art.

2. If you were invisable for 1 day, what would you do and why?

I would make help people that were in desperate, vile situations.

3. If a genie gave you 1 wish, what would your wish be?

That my daughter grows up to be a strong, happy woman, with strong moral values.

4. If you were a piece a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be?

I would say a grapefruit, I may seem bitter, but with a bit of sugar, I am quite pleasant

5. Describe why you are like a tennis ball?

I am like a tennis ball because I am bouncy, meaning I am always doing something.

6. How many times a month do you do laundry?

16-18

7. Why would we hire you instead of someone more qualified?

Because I am very strong willed and strong minded, and always get the job done.

Dear Neverwins,
You are the person we have been looking for. You are hired. Congratulations.
FYI, as an employee, you will be reguired to attend our weekly motivational workshops. Can you start tomorrow?

[targetguy1]

Screw moral values, you should hope shes a virgin till she is 44 or something

girls being virgins past 16 is rare now days. i guess if anyone can make that happen would be a genie

[NeverWinHere]

Dear Neverwins,
You are the person we have been looking for. You are hired. Congratulations.
FYI, as an employee, you will be reguired to attend our weekly motivational workshops. Can you start tomorrow?

I'll be there, I am sure I can motivate some people with my stories, unless I am the one that needs motivating?

[taylovesthebeatles]

girls being virgins past 16 is rare now days. i guess if anyone can make that happen would be a genie

Hey I waited till I was 21! Not that I had any suitors wanting me beforehand, but yeah.

[KaciBlakely]

I'm hired! Finally. This is what I was hoping for. That or for my own personal Shia LaBeouf.

[eejit101]

Lol, i was told by THREE different people i looked like him last week.....

Maybe thats why u wanna go drinking with me!

[NeverWinHere]

I'm hired! Finally. This is what I was hoping for. That or for my own personal Shia LaBeouf.

Haha, so you a big fan of him?

[KaciBlakely]

I love Shia. And eejit if he looks like Shia. And yes, eejit that's why I would want to go drinking with you.