Just Jokes...

[Pokerkitty6]

Subject: Women Over 40
>
>
>
> In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about
women over 40:
>
> As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few
reasons why:
>
> A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, "What
are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
>
> If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around
whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more
interesting.
>
> Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at
the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve
it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
>
> Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's
like to be unappreciated.
>
> Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman
over 40.
>
> Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her
younger counterpart.
>
> Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a
jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand
with her.
>
> Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's
not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40,
there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with
some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
>
> For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for
free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage.
Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a
little sausage!
>
> Andy Rooney is a really smart guy! Send this to five fine, fun, fabulous,
fancy-free female friends over 40, or Men who might appreciate it too.
>

[Pokerkitty6]

Subject: Putting your affairs in order
>
>
>
>
>
> A woman went to her doctor. The doctor, after an examination, sighed and
said, 'I've some bad news You have cancer, and you had best put your affairs in
order.'
> The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the
waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.
>
> 'Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when
things do not go so well. In this case, things are not well. I have cancer.
Let's head to the club and have a martini.'
>
> After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less sombre. There were
some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the
woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.
>
> The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end. 'I've
been diagnosed with AIDS.' The friends were aghast and gave the woman their
condolences.
>
> After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered,
'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your
friends you were dying of AIDS.'
>
> The woman said, 'I know, I don't want any of those *****es sleeping with your
father after I'm gone.'
>
> Now that's putting Your Affairs In Order.