Golf sounds like fun!!!!

[Pokerkitty6]

The Rules of Bedroom Golf:
1.Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.

2.Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3.Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.

4.For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5.Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

6.Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play again.

7.It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival. Experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire course, paying special attention to well formed mounds and bunkers.

8.Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have been known to damage a players equipment for this reason.

9.Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear, just in case.

10.Players should not assume that the course is in shape to play at all times. Players may be embarrassed if they find the course temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case.

11.Players should assume their match has been properly scheduled particularly when playing a new course for the 1st time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else is playing what they considered a private course.

12.The owner of the course is responsible for the pruning of any bushes, which may reduce the visibility of the hole.

13.Players are strongly advised to get the owners permission before attempting to play the backside.

14.Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace at the owners request.

15.It is considered an outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.
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[Pokerkitty6]

The Gospel According to St. Titleist

1. Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.

Grantland Rice

2. Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

John Updike

3. It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.

Robert Lynd

4. If profanity had any influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is.

Horace G. Hutchinson

5. They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.

Gardner Dickenson

6. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.

Sam Snead

7. Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

William Wordsworth

8. If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.

Dean Martin

9. If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up.

Tommy Bolt

10. Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one.

Bishop Sheen

11. I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced.

Arnold Palmer

12. My handicap? Woods and irons.

Chris Codiroli

13. The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick on top.

Pete Dye

14. I'm hitting the woods just great; but having a terrible time getting out of them!

Buddy Hackett

15. The only time my prayers are never answered is playing golf.

Billy Graham

16. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

Jack Lemmon

1. It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Mark Twain

18. Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.

Harry Vardon

19. Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at either of them.

Jimmy DeMaret

2 May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.

Ben Hogan

21. If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle.

All Us Hackers

22. The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.

George Deukmejian

And Finally

23. Golf is a game invented by the same people who think good music comes out of a bagpipe.

Lee Trevino

[freeringo]

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

That's how I felt when I accidently slow rolled my AA.

[Pokerkitty6]

A game of golf brings out all kinds of emotions. It also brings out the good and bad in people, depending on how their game is going. Never the less, we always go back for more.

[Pokerkitty6]

Hey Ringo....do you ever mark your balls?