Thanks, Lori, for putting into words what I was trying so hard to. I'm so sorry you're having to go through all these trials right now Renee, but know that they will subside eventually (at least they'd better or that means mine won't either!). God is in control here as always, and I know it's really frustrating to believe that there is a purpose and a plan for everything but at the same time still struggling with what it could possibly be when everything seems so negative. I admire you for blogging about everything that is going on and reaching out to someone for help. That takes a lot of strength and courage. Please try to hang in there and take care of yourself first and foremost, otherwise you're in no position to take care of Marissa or even Tony. Take it easy if you can. Be as good to yourself as possible. That's about all you can do somedays, but try to let that be enough. I love you, sis.