Wow! Poker Kitty, you did the right thing. This arrangement with your niece living there for the time being is not going to change. So don't let it get you down. You are the boss and you are in control whether she wants to believe that or not. (It is understandable that your niece is acting out in class, but it is not okay) I know this being the fact that makes it so hard to deal with. I mean how do you punish a girl that is misbehaving or acting out when she is going through a very rough time. It is understandable that a young girl who is basically pre-puberty, without her mother, without her dad, living with her aunt that she loves and now her aunt has cancer. Marissa is either a spoiled rotten brat or a girl who is confused and scared. But either way she need to be shown love and taught some respect. First for herself and then for others. I don't really know how to exactly how I would deal with the problem. But I would hate for her to learn it the hard way. Does she realize what it is like to be a ward of the court? To be in foster care or worse yet with her attitude today she is likely headed for juvenile hall. I am sorry that you are having to go through all of this and deal with this too. But do you believe there is a reason for everything? I do, but I don't know why it takes so long for us to see the reasons. And sometimes the reasons are not for us to see. Which really sucks and makes it hard to put closure on things sometimes. The main part of this story is life, your life and the lives of the people that effect you in any way or that you effect somehow. Prioritize.... 1. Your health, if you are not healthy you can't help any one is that not a fact? For you to stay as healthy as possible it is necessary for you to.... A. Keep your stress level at a low..
B. Be positive
C. Etc....
The best way for you to be at ease with it is to communicate with Marissa. If you have good communication with the teacher, principal "school" and Marissa you can all work together and make it easier for everyone. Especially for you being sick. A simple phone call or letter to the school should work or a brief meeting. They need to understand the situation and put a little effort into helping you out right now. Marissa may not realize it but she is being very selfish. And not to make excuse but to bring to your attention did Marissa really disrupt the class that much that she is so near suspension. Some times people are not always on the up and up. I know I have and still run into situations where I see teachers (but not limited to teachers) for one not particularly care for someone and be tougher on them. Communicate is the best I think right now you need to be on the same page with her. And hopefully she will talk with you and trust in you that what you do is in her best interest. What she chooses to do is up to her. You can not make choices for her. I think that is one of the hardest things for me to get over as a mother. I wish I could have made choices for my girls as I had already lived the things they live and learn. But if we made their choices for them they would never appreciate a good one made or experience the feeling of accomplishment. I said a prayer for you personally and for your situation at hand with Marissa. It is all gonna be ok PK... hang in there and smile.
-Lori