BC

[taylovesthebeatles]

That is awesome Pokerkitty, I'm really really happy for you! You get to go through discovery of new tits twice, none of us get to do that! I'm sorry the pics didn't work out...maybe NDN would let you email them to those who want to see. I know I'm curious and I'm proud of you for being proud of the girls, you should be! I hope Tony enjoys them too, I'm sure he does. Hooray for boobs!

[BnLM5]

How is everything going PokerKitty? I am gonna go with it's all going smoothly. The physical and mental of everything and your niece. I've been thinking about you and your always in my prayers.

[freeringo]

How is everything going PokerKitty? I am gonna go with it's all going smoothly. The physical and mental of everything and your niece. I've been thinking about you and your always in my prayers.

Poor girls, got BAP on the brain.

Hey Kitty!!!

Relax

[freeringo]

Frankie looks alot like Eejit

[Pokerkitty6]

Oh yeah!!! BAP on the mind alright!!!.. Thanks for everything! My mind just went blank tonight. My husband asked what BAP stands for and I couldn't even tell him anything except we pool our money together. What does BAP stand for so I can answer him? My neice still lives with us and starts school on Monday. We have to go to open house on Friday so I can tell her teacher to keep her away from all sick kids. This is the wrong time in my life to have a kid! The germ and flu thing is scaring me to death. Chemo kills your immune system. Oh well, she is better here than in a foster home. I just wish the legal system would move a little faster so she can go back home and I can concentrate on me. Life happens, deal with it! Cancer Sucks!!! I feel great this week! Thank God!!!

[freeringo]

Im ashamed to say I don't know what BAP means either.

I just had Charter High School orientation and this is going to work out great.
Home schooling is where it's at.
We never get sick.
Good luck with everything.
Relax during BAP game
You have nothing to lose.
You don't need to pressure yourself right now on poker game.
Have fun with it.

[TerpZone]

"buy a piece"

I just discovered this like 20 mins ago when I was reading the bap rules!

[BnLM5]

Oh yeah!!! BAP on the mind alright!!!.. Thanks for everything! My mind just went blank tonight. My husband asked what BAP stands for and I couldn't even tell him anything except we pool our money together. What does BAP stand for so I can answer him? My neice still lives with us and starts school on Monday. We have to go to open house on Friday so I can tell her teacher to keep her away from all sick kids. This is the wrong time in my life to have a kid! The germ and flu thing is scaring me to death. Chemo kills your immune system. Oh well, she is better here than in a foster home. I just wish the legal system would move a little faster so she can go back home and I can concentrate on me. Life happens, deal with it! Cancer Sucks!!! I feel great this week! Thank God!!!

You are gonna be fine. Just a few things to keep in mind. You and every one at or in your house wash your hands with soap and lots of water frequently. (use lotion). Pathogens (bacteria or virus) has to enter your body before you will get sick. They do this in many ways...like chapped or cracks in your skin, or if it is air borne breathing germs from a sneeze or cough etc. Try to avoid touching money! (Only God knows who has touched it or where they have been) Avoid putting your hands in your mouth or on your face as much as possible. When doing things in public be aware of things like pushing shopping carts they are filthy like money. sign things with your own pen don't put it in your mouth. Just be aware of anything you touch. Keep your hands free of cracks or soars even your cuticles. And wash hands frequently. And of course avoid people with the flu or cold or sickness as any of us would normally. And you should be fine. Oh and don't pick your nose. LOL Just kidding but really. I am glad to hear you are feeling well, that is great. And good idea about the conference. Most importantly make sure your niece knows how important it is that she be as germ free as you are. Wash, wash, wash!

[Pokerkitty6]

Hi all! I did something today I've never done before. I shaved my head! My hair was falling out so bad, I had no choice. It's freaky. My neice brought me the dust pan and saw me tearing up and said it's ok, you're still a beautiful woman. I told her she was sweet. I also told her I was crying because I was having a funeral for my hair. So we said "goodbye hair" together. It was a moment, I'm sure neither one of us will ever forget. My husband is going to freak out when he gets home tonight and sees I have no hair. Marissa and I went to Publix and people were staring at me. I had a doo-rag on and they still stared. It was quite comical actually. I told her next time we go out I might go bald and we'll really have some fun. It was weird, I grabbed my purse to get my keys and found my hair brush. I guess I won't need that for a while so I put it up, more room in my purse. Having no hair does kinda make you feel free. I took a shower and thought, gee this is what it feels like to be a guy, I can be ready in 5 minutes. I put up my hair dryer and my hair straightner. I have a wig, but it feels weird. I don't think I will like wigs. It's going to be hard having no hair. I'll have to go around like this for at least 8 months. Thats a long time for a woman to have no hair. There are certin parts of me I love with no hair. I tell ya I've never been that smooth before, so I guess ya gotta take the good with bad. Maybe that's how I'll distract Tony from looking at my head. I start to get boobs and I go bald. Cancer sucks!

[BnLM5]

Well we have had a bad day, a better day, now we are looking for a good day. So Great right on track. The shot, I am thinking is probably Neulasta. Neulasta is given 24 hours after chemo and 14 days before the next cycle. It stimulates the bone marrow to produce white blood cells which work as a defense mechanism for our immune system. Easier to say that they fight off infection, bacteria and such. Did you know that we have five different types of white blood cells and each one has a different purpose in the immune system. It is amazing how it all works together. I could bore you with biology for hours. But I won't. Although just to let you know it has helped me study so thank you. Anyway I hope your new meds work better. I hate throwing up and worse feeling like I am going to so I can only imagine how you feel. Hang in there two down It is always a good feeling to mark em off as complete. I pray for you every single day! Marissa too! How is school going for her? As soon as you feel better and get a chance rest assured I am waiting for an update. K ... Lots of love! Lori

[nodepositneeded]

Pokerkitty6 - Are the rumors true? You're coming to celebrate in Duluth with Tony once you're cancer free???

[Pokerkitty6]

I hope I can make that happen! I'll want a party after all of this and the NDN gang would be a great time. Sometime early next year I will be back to my old self! I had no idea about the different kind of white blood cells. Marissa is doing great, I'm just ready for her to back home with her Dad. This will take some time because we have to go thru the legal steps, such as family builders, anger management, etc. They drag it out for a long time.

[Pokerkitty6]

I'm so pissed right now I can hardly see straight! My boobs hurt and I need to pop a pill. Since I talked about Marissa in my bc thread I'll keep it here. She brings home a discipline letter today saying she is one step away from a refferal and being sent to the dean's office. She is disrupting class and will not be quiet when the teacher is talking. She is in 5th grade and this is only the second week of class. I told her that the consequence in to write a letter of apology to the teacher explaining why she kept talking and how she can prevent her actions in the future. Simple punishment...not according to Marissa because the teacher also wrote that a "discussion" should be appropriate punishment. Well I thought I should follow thru with the "letter". Marissa exploded and felt she should only do what her teacher told her to do, instead of me. She continued ripping up good paper and I made her stop, she then threw on the floor. I made her clean it up. She wants her Dad to rot in prison and she wants to live with her mother. I told her the law says she can't live with her mother. I told her to start writing the letter, she told me no and started to walk downstairs. I followed her and told her to get back up here and start writing. She then ran from me right out the front door. I chased her until I realized I can't catch her and this is why my boobs hurt. I'm not supposed to be running. I freaked out got the car, even went out "bald". I went straigt to security where we live and then called 911. continued...

[Pokerkitty6]

We couldn't find her. In the mean time I had called my husband to come home from work to help. We also called her case worker. The case worker is the one who eventually found her about an hour latter. We all met back at home. I wanted the case worker to take her away and my husband talked me out of it. He told me to cool off for 24 hours. This girl is going to put my health in jepordy if I let her. The case worker said if she takes off again call 911, thats all we can do. After we make that 911 call we are held responsible for anything that happens to her. She has problems with exploding and I don't like it. I don't even want to talk to her right now and thats why I am here typing away. Now on top of the letter, I have added no tv or computer for a whole week because she took off on me. She didn't even stop to look for cars when she ran. I have some decisions to make...wish me luck, I'll all and any advice given. The more I stress and accelerate my heart the harder the chemo drugs work on me. I'm sure I'll feel something tonight. I cancelled my breast reconstruction appt. today because I wasn't feeling well. I was supposed to go from b cup to c cup today. Thank God that didn't happen today. I would have been in so much more pain from running. Thanks for listening, I'm starting to calm down....

[BnLM5]

Wow! Poker Kitty, you did the right thing. This arrangement with your niece living there for the time being is not going to change. So don't let it get you down. You are the boss and you are in control whether she wants to believe that or not. (It is understandable that your niece is acting out in class, but it is not okay) I know this being the fact that makes it so hard to deal with. I mean how do you punish a girl that is misbehaving or acting out when she is going through a very rough time. It is understandable that a young girl who is basically pre-puberty, without her mother, without her dad, living with her aunt that she loves and now her aunt has cancer. Marissa is either a spoiled rotten brat or a girl who is confused and scared. But either way she need to be shown love and taught some respect. First for herself and then for others. I don't really know how to exactly how I would deal with the problem. But I would hate for her to learn it the hard way. Does she realize what it is like to be a ward of the court? To be in foster care or worse yet with her attitude today she is likely headed for juvenile hall. I am sorry that you are having to go through all of this and deal with this too. But do you believe there is a reason for everything? I do, but I don't know why it takes so long for us to see the reasons. And sometimes the reasons are not for us to see. Which really sucks and makes it hard to put closure on things sometimes. The main part of this story is life, your life and the lives of the people that effect you in any way or that you effect somehow. Prioritize.... 1. Your health, if you are not healthy you can't help any one is that not a fact? For you to stay as healthy as possible it is necessary for you to.... A. Keep your stress level at a low..
B. Be positive
C. Etc....
The best way for you to be at ease with it is to communicate with Marissa. If you have good communication with the teacher, principal "school" and Marissa you can all work together and make it easier for everyone. Especially for you being sick. A simple phone call or letter to the school should work or a brief meeting. They need to understand the situation and put a little effort into helping you out right now. Marissa may not realize it but she is being very selfish. And not to make excuse but to bring to your attention did Marissa really disrupt the class that much that she is so near suspension. Some times people are not always on the up and up. I know I have and still run into situations where I see teachers (but not limited to teachers) for one not particularly care for someone and be tougher on them. Communicate is the best I think right now you need to be on the same page with her. And hopefully she will talk with you and trust in you that what you do is in her best interest. What she chooses to do is up to her. You can not make choices for her. I think that is one of the hardest things for me to get over as a mother. I wish I could have made choices for my girls as I had already lived the things they live and learn. But if we made their choices for them they would never appreciate a good one made or experience the feeling of accomplishment. I said a prayer for you personally and for your situation at hand with Marissa. It is all gonna be ok PK... hang in there and smile.
-Lori