BC

[Pokerkitty6]

Hi all!!! A few nights ago I told a few of you that I had something to say and I would tell you when I am ready. Well tonight I feel ready to share. I have grade 3 invasive poorly diferentiated ductal type mammory carcenoma. In other words, I have breast cancer. It's freaking me out. Within the next two weeks I will be having a radical double masectomy. Some of my words may be spelled wrong, but you get the idea. It sucks because I have beautiful 36C tits. I mean they are f'in nice. I will undergo reconstruction at the same time and I think I am going to get me some bigger tits. What do ya'll think about 36D? My husband smiles everytime I say it!!!! When I am down and out, my hubby, Tony has been instructed by me to play some of my games. Feel free to ask is that you Tony or Renee? We will be honest with you. My doctors says I should be back to playing golf 6-12 months down the road. I'll just have to learn how to regrip with bigger tits. I probably have to grip the shaft and squeze my tits together. All humor aside, this is very serious for me. I thought I would just like to share my feelings with my NDN family. This site has and will continue to be a blessing for me, especially now, to keep my mind off of things and learn from others experience. I am still working in the golf shop and have my job secured when I have recovered enough to go back to work. Until then, I'll just keep happy thoughts in my head. Cheers and I'll c-ya at the tables!!!!

[slicky111]

Yeah, I see why u r stressed out. Just play more poker and maybe that will keep your mind elsewhere.

Yeah, I'm with hubby, 36D sounds nic to me also

[Pokerkitty6]

I was in sooo much pain last night, more than any night so far. I don't know if it is the swelling going down or if I just did too much. I loaded the dishwasher and did laundry and now I hurt like hell. My pain pills are helping a little bit. I wanted to take another one, but I didn't cause it says every 6 hours. My doctor told me not to do any house work. Well, I figured that was over a week ago, it would be ok now. NOT!! Today, I just feel really tender. I'll get an update soon. I see three different doctors, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, I'm way too young to be seeing this many doctors. Enough about breast cancer for now. c-ya at the tables.

[woohoosue]

awww girl ..im so sad you are having such a hard time of this...hope things lighten up soon ....hey that is exactly what you did... dont do anything...i dont care how messy things get ....someone will get to them when they can and if not so be it...... please take it easy ...the trauma is enuf dont add to the pain by doing too much..... painless days are coming ..hang in there

[BnLM5]

Pokerkitty if the doctor say's not to do any house work, why are you doing housework? Why not take it easy so the healing process can take place? Now you need to just take it easy no matter how much you don't want to. You better be glad I am not there. I am the kind of nurse that makes you do what your supposed to. But I am not mean. However you need to listen because the doctor it telling you what is best. And we want the best. Okee Dokee!

I'm so sorry for the pain! That sucks! I have said a special prayer for the pain now.

[taylovesthebeatles]

I've been through many surgeries where I feel pretty good for a few days afterward, and then all of a sudden I feel much worse one day. It definitely does happen, but I am still very sorry. Do listen to your doctor for sure, I know you really want to be as independent as you were before and keep your life as normal as possible, but you'll thank yourself for rest later. Just keep taking your pain pills and take it easy! You'll want your energy for after you get your new tits and they're all ready to be enjoyed!

[Pokerkitty6]

Hi everybody. I just want you to know I am not writing this to make you feel sorry for me or to make it seem I can't handle this. There are days I have a hard time with this, but that is to be expected. I am handling this way better than most women from what I hear. I am one of the strongest females you will ever meet. This bc thread is mainly for me to express myself instead of holding everything in. It is a stress release for me. I know alot of you will get tired of reading this and others will learn more about breast cancer. Like I said before 1 in 8 women will develop breast cancer. We are all gamblers here and we know odds, so chances are, you know or will know someone with breast cancer in your life time. I just back from seeing my ongologist for the first time this morning. She is a sweet lady who works early on Sunday mornings. Never, ever heard of a doctor working Sunday mornings. Anyways...my cancer is basal triple negative, very aggressive. I have to have 6 months of chemo, the aggresive form. I will loose all of my hair from the very 1st treatment. For 6 months, I will have no hair and loose alot of weight. I started crying when I heard the word agressive. With this type of chemo, I will get sick and have a hard time with my appetite. I am scheduled back at work on August 16, I will probably go back. My members at the golf club have been extremely supportative, as well as many of you, for that I say thank you. I feel comfortable enough where I can go around them even if I am bald. I said at the beginning I'm going to be bald, boobless, and skinny. At the end of this, I'm going to have a new head of hair, a new set of huge tits, and more passion for life than I've ever had. Look out world here I come!!! My husband is giving money for my new wigs next week. I already have a cute short red headed one with soft gold highlights. I bought a doo-rag with the flap that hangs down in the back that is filled with eagles and "feel the wind" on it, my biker look. I'm going back this week to buy the Miami Hurricanes do-rag in a couple of days. I already have one for the Miami Dolphins. I told my husband, I need to go to the dollar store and buy a bunch of little waste baskets and put about ten grocery store plastic bags in them for when I puke, it makes for easy clean up that way. I do that for my bathrooms already. I'll want a basket in every room for sure. He said he is going to buy my 1st "puke basket" of the Miami Dolphins. I told him no way am I going to puke in a Miami Dolphins basket. He handled the news well this morning and wanted to know what color wig, I'm getting. I told him all, blonde, burnette, and red head. My friend at work said he is getting me a hot pink one. I don't think my husband will go for that one. I will process this information today and look forward to seeing you at our chip game. c-ya soon...

[targetguy1]

Hi everybody. I just want you to know I am not writing this to make you feel sorry for me or to make it seem I can't handle this. There are days I have a hard time with this, but that is to be expected. I am handling this way better than most women from what I hear. I am one of the strongest females you will ever meet. This bc thread is mainly for me to express myself instead of holding everything in. It is a stress release for me. I know alot of you will get tired of reading this and others will learn more about breast cancer. Like I said before 1 in 8 women will develop breast cancer. We are all gamblers here and we know odds, so chances are, you know or will know someone with breast cancer in your life time. I just back from seeing my ongologist for the first time this morning. She is a sweet lady who works early on Sunday mornings. Never, ever heard of a doctor working Sunday mornings. Anyways...my cancer is basal triple negative, very aggressive. I have to have 6 months of chemo, the aggresive form. I will loose all of my hair from the very 1st treatment. For 6 months, I will have no hair and loose alot of weight. I started crying when I heard the word agressive. With this type of chemo, I will get sick and have a hard time with my appetite. I am scheduled back at work on August 16, I will probably go back. My members at the golf club have been extremely supportative, as well as many of you, for that I say thank you. I feel comfortable enough where I can go around them even if I am bald. I said at the beginning I'm going to be bald, boobless, and skinny. At the end of this, I'm going to have a new head of hair, a new set of huge tits, and more passion for life than I've ever had. Look out world here I come!!! My husband is giving money for my new wigs next week. I already have a cute short red headed one with soft gold highlights. I bought a doo-rag with the flap that hangs down in the back that is filled with eagles and "feel the wind" on it, my biker look. I'm going back this week to buy the Miami Hurricanes do-rag in a couple of days. I already have one for the Miami Dolphins. I told my husband, I need to go to the dollar store and buy a bunch of little waste baskets and put about ten grocery store plastic bags in them for when I puke, it makes for easy clean up that way. I do that for my bathrooms already. I'll want a basket in every room for sure. He said he is going to buy my 1st "puke basket" of the Miami Dolphins. I told him no way am I going to puke in a Miami Dolphins basket. He handled the news well this morning and wanted to know what color wig, I'm getting. I told him all, blonde, burnette, and red head. My friend at work said he is getting me a hot pink one. I don't think my husband will go for that one. I will process this information today and look forward to seeing you at our chip game. c-ya soon...

kitty you are a very strong women and i know the men here wich they were

half as strong as you are. yes the next 6 months will be difficult and very

hard on you and you family but like you said your very strong women and

with that being said you already have the advantage then most women who

go through this. just stay strong and for once in your life butyourself first

and everyone else behind yourself.

[taylovesthebeatles]

Thanks again for the update, Kitty! Well if you're going to get wigs I say that's the way to do it- give your husband the experience of lots of different women! Stay strong for us, we'll all stay strong for you. Can you puke in an OU Sooners can for me?

[BnLM5]

Well damn it Pokerkitty, that sucks so bad. I was hoping you wouldn't have to go through all crap. As You were I am sure. You are def a very strong woman that's a fact. But don't forget what I said about crying. This too shall all come pass. It will be tough but you will get through it. You will have bad days and you will have good days, but no matter the days You have all of us to listen. I am with you in heart and you will continuously be in my thoughts and prayers. Just hang in there baby!

[Pokerkitty6]

Hi all. I saw my oncologist yesterday and my general surgeon today. Looks like I have something called triple negative basal type breast cancer, stage 2 grade 3. This means I have to have 6 months of chemo and I will loose my hair with the first treatment. Wow, I will be bald for over 6 months. I have my very first PET scan on Friday, never had one before, but they say its ok to drive afterward. I'm not sure about driving after chemo, haven't got that far yet. Next Tuesday, I have to have another surgery to put my port in. The port will make my chemo easier on me because me veins are so small. I have to see my plastic surgeon tomorrow. My sister laughed at the "puke cans" I want to put around the house and she just happens to be in Oklahoma visiting, so she is going to send me one. I think I'm gonna need a FSU can too. Oh well, I've had enough of cancer for one day, so I'll c-ya at the tables.

[freeringo]

Time to get ready for a fight.

We are praying for you and we are here for you.

[BnLM5]

Pokerkitty I was reading the newspaper today.

And an article about a breast cancer fund raiser

caught my eye. It is being held in Colusa a little

town about 30 miles west from where I live.

Any way I thought of you as I have been a lot

lately. I wanted to share this with you because

I thought what they were calling it was way cool.

So I thought you might appreciate it......

"Bowling for Boobs" Lol What a great idea!

Isn't that something? I always stop for breast cancer

fund raisers. I think it is a great way to help.

Hope you are feeling better today!

[taylovesthebeatles]

Pokerkitty- here are lyrics to a song by one of our favorite bands that has had me thinking of you lately. I hope it can help you get through these times a little easier. I'll also post a link to a video so you can hear what it sounds like.

It's called "Pink" and it's by a group called Carbon Leaf.

So, she catches herself
When she looks down, or too far away
She knows the pain in her side
Is just a mirage and mirages will fade

And so it begins, the mirage settles in
But the sky is light pink before violet
Cause everything's now, everything's now
She notices everything

As she puts on the pink
Her world turns to pink

So, she shows all her teeth when
She's taking the photos, she knows she has friends
She wants colors like these to
Remind her of being a young girl again

She quietly pleads, God just remove
Everything that the doctors don't see
Cause everything's now, everything's now
Please remove everything that's not me

And she puts on the pink
Her world turns to pink

She puts on the pink
Her world turns to pink

She puts on the pink(7x)
She puts on the pink...

YouTube - Carbon Leaf- Pink

[Pokerkitty6]

B bowling for boobs is a great idea!!! Tay that song is beautiful and made me cry. The words went straight to my heart. Some of them I have said lately. It's very powerful...

[Pokerkitty6]

I got my other drain removed today, yay! After that, I went to have a PET scan. I have never had one before. If you have ever had melanoma before, you have to tell them because they have to take deeper images. I also learned you should not hold an infant of toddler for about 20 minutes after your scan because the radiation from you could affect their tyroid. Never heard that before. Oh well, live and learn. I can see how people freak out getting PET scan's because you are sliding back and forth in a big tube, after they inject you with purple dye. In the situations, I just take little cat naps. That seems to work best for me. After I got home today, I got the worst headace. I wonder if it is from the dye. Surgery for my port is still scheduled for Tue. I tell ya breast cancer is a pain in the ***!! No doubt about it. Not only for me, but for Tony too!! I saw on tv today hot dog warnings and cancer. I have been told some of the top cancer causing foods are hot dogs, bacon, sausage, and french fries. There is so much to learn and I bet whoever is reading this learned something about PET scans today. I know I did. C-ya at the tables.

[freeringo]

I got my other drain removed today, yay! After that, I went to have a PET scan. I have never had one before. If you have ever had melanoma before, you have to tell them because they have to take deeper images. I also learned you should not hold an infant of toddler for about 20 minutes after your scan because the radiation from you could affect their tyroid. Never heard that before. Oh well, live and learn. I can see how people freak out getting PET scan's because you are sliding back and forth in a big tube, after they inject you with purple dye. In the situations, I just take little cat naps. That seems to work best for me. After I got home today, I got the worst headace. I wonder if it is from the dye. Surgery for my port is still scheduled for Tue. I tell ya breast cancer is a pain in the ***!! No doubt about it. Not only for me, but for Tony too!! I saw on tv today hot dog warnings and cancer. I have been told some of the top cancer causing foods are hot dogs, bacon, sausage, and french fries. There is so much to learn and I bet whoever is reading this learned something about PET scans today. I know I did. C-ya at the tables.

Take 1 day at a time Kitty
Before you know it we will be singing Christmas Carols.
Joy to World

[targetguy1]

I got my other drain removed today, yay! After that, I went to have a PET scan. I have never had one before. If you have ever had melanoma before, you have to tell them because they have to take deeper images. I also learned you should not hold an infant of toddler for about 20 minutes after your scan because the radiation from you could affect their tyroid. Never heard that before. Oh well, live and learn. I can see how people freak out getting PET scan's because you are sliding back and forth in a big tube, after they inject you with purple dye. In the situations, I just take little cat naps. That seems to work best for me. After I got home today, I got the worst headace. I wonder if it is from the dye. Surgery for my port is still scheduled for Tue. I tell ya breast cancer is a pain in the ***!! No doubt about it. Not only for me, but for Tony too!! I saw on tv today hot dog warnings and cancer. I have been told some of the top cancer causing foods are hot dogs, bacon, sausage, and french fries. There is so much to learn and I bet whoever is reading this learned something about PET scans today. I know I did. C-ya at the tables.

note to self dont eat any thing that comes from pig thanks.

[BnLM5]

Unfortunately Kitty there are carcinogens in just about everything that is around us. From the very foods we eat to the air we breath even the sun we live under. There is really no way they can be avoided. You will learn alot of more things about cancer now that it has you full attention.

I am sorry you have a head ache today. It is prob a combo of a few things. The anticipation of what is to come, the dye, a long day, worry. I will remind you that there is nothing you can change by worry. The only thing that worry and stress is going to do is make you sick. I know it is easier said than done but it is sooooo important. It is so important for you to stay as healthy as you can both in mind and body. I know you are worried about Tony and him having to much, but he is tough and It's obvious he is with you for the duration. So let him be there for you.

You are in my thoughts and prayers more than you know.

Much Love,
Lori

[woohoosue]

Hang in there girl we do not feel sorry for u..... we would like you to feel better... most of us can only imagine what u are going through. I know to u progress is slow... you are there with it all day ... Please keep the faith ... stay strong ... eat well ... try not to worry so much .... you will lick this thing.....
hug!

[Pokerkitty6]

I got my PET scan results back today and everything looks good. That part makes me feel better, but next week they are giving me a BCRA test to find out where cancer may pop up in my body next to help prevent. Alot of these cancers are carried from generation to generation, so I think everybody should have this test done. Its easier to try to prevent cancer, than to try to get rid of once you have it. I'm going in for surgery at 5am in the morning to insert my port for chemo. I won't have to stay overnight, just until I get my "bearings" together. My first chemo will be about a week after that. Anybody here ever have chemo? What am I in for? Can I drive ok afterwards? Like I said earlier, this is a learning experience for all of us. C-ya in a few minutes. Thanks for listening.

[BnLM5]

Pokerkitty, I have been doing some reading to see what I can come up with for you. I will keep reading on it and I will let you know if I find something I think you may be interested in or something that may be of help.

I have never had to go through chemo but have been with people who have and everyone reacts differently to it. Some feel ok and some don't. My friend Lana actually had an allergic reaction to the chemo. My friend Darryl felt ill and was sick from it but he drove himself there and back. Personally If it were me I would not go alone. For the simple fact you don't know how your body will react to it especially for the first treatment. Then you will know more about how you feel about the situation. And if you feel then that you can drive afterward then go for it. My opinion don't go alone to the first treatment.

I am happy to hear that your PET Scan results looked good. I bet you do feel better. It's almost like holding your breath and waiting.

After the surgery you just went through, the one you are having tomorrow will be a piece of cake, no doubt. Nonetheless you are and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers every single day. I am with you! Surely you can you feel it?

See ya tomorrow!

[Pokerkitty6]

Thanks for your input B...I probably shouldn't drive after my first treatment because I don't know how I will handle it. I had surgery this morning to import my port for chemo. Right now I am very sore and tender. They put it by my collar bone. My bandage has a little blood on it, but they told me not to remove it for 48 hours. I need to eat soon. Haven't ate since yesterday. I have been in a deep sleep since I got home from the hospital around 11am. Can you believe I just woke up? I'm waiting for my husband to make me dinner. Yesterday I had a little more stress added to my plate....One of my brothers got into a little trouble, I won't go into detail about that, but Department of Children and Family's brought me his 11 year old daughter. She now, apparently has to live with us with no contact with her father. It's killing me because her father, age 31, is like my baby. We are very close, so I had no choice but to take his daughter. Her name is Marissa and it's going to be hard on her to watch me go thru this. Looks like now, I'm going to need advice on what to say to a child about my cancer. I had to already explain where my boobs went...This is going to make my journey harder, but I can't let the department have her. Tony and I are now under complete stress. Wish us luck....

[GloBug]

Thanks for your input B...I probably shouldn't drive after my first treatment because I don't know how I will handle it. I had surgery this morning to import my port for chemo. Right now I am very sore and tender. They put it by my collar bone. My bandage has a little blood on it, but they told me not to remove it for 48 hours. I need to eat soon. Haven't ate since yesterday. I have been in a deep sleep since I got home from the hospital around 11am. Can you believe I just woke up? I'm waiting for my husband to make me dinner. Yesterday I had a little more stress added to my plate....One of my brothers got into a little trouble, I won't go into detail about that, but Department of Children and Family's brought me his 11 year old daughter. She now, apparently has to live with us with no contact with her father. It's killing me because her father, age 31, is like my baby. We are very close, so I had no choice but to take his daughter. Her name is Marissa and it's going to be hard on her to watch me go thru this. Looks like now, I'm going to need advice on what to say to a child about my cancer. I had to already explain where my boobs went...This is going to make my journey harder, but I can't let the department have her. Tony and I are now under complete stress. Wish us luck....

well i am glad to see so far so good. well chemo sucks . i had to take my moms late husband to chemo because he couldnt drive after it. i mean they nuke u . wow yeah thats got to be hard to explain that. i know u will be good. just be vigilant in the chemo and recovery side and it will all work out.

[taylovesthebeatles]

Oh man Kitty that sucks hardcore! I'm very proud of you for taking her in though, that's what family is for! God will see you through all of this, don't you worry. And as your NDN family we'll do what we can to help pitch in too.

As for what to say to her about cancer, I'm not really sure as I've never had it explained to me when I was little, nor have I had to explain it to someone else who was young. I guess you could start by saying that Aunt Renee or whatever she calls you is very sick and needs lots of strong medicine and hospital visits to help her get better, and even though you'll see her start to look different and probably lose her hair, that's all part of the medicine and it's really working to make her better. It also may help to relate your new boob growth process to her own, so she'll not be so scared by it maybe. That'd give you two something to bond over at least, maybe.

If I think of any other ideas I'll let you know, but that's what I can think of for now. Stay strong Kitty, I love you!!

[BnLM5]

Thanks for your input B...I probably shouldn't drive after my first treatment because I don't know how I will handle it. I had surgery this morning to import my port for chemo. Right now I am very sore and tender. They put it by my collar bone. My bandage has a little blood on it, but they told me not to remove it for 48 hours. I need to eat soon. Haven't ate since yesterday. I have been in a deep sleep since I got home from the hospital around 11am. Can you believe I just woke up? I'm waiting for my husband to make me dinner. Yesterday I had a little more stress added to my plate....One of my brothers got into a little trouble, I won't go into detail about that, but Department of Children and Family's brought me his 11 year old daughter. She now, apparently has to live with us with no contact with her father. It's killing me because her father, age 31, is like my baby. We are very close, so I had no choice but to take his daughter. Her name is Marissa and it's going to be hard on her to watch me go thru this. Looks like now, I'm going to need advice on what to say to a child about my cancer. I had to already explain where my boobs went...This is going to make my journey harder, but I can't let the department have her. Tony and I are now under complete stress. Wish us luck....

Pokerkitty let go of the stress if possible. 11 year old girl is old enough to know the truth. Tell her exactly what is going on. She needs to know. Obviously she is having problems herself as well. She is prob under a great deal of stress also. So she prob needs to talk about the situation with her dad as well. I would suggest that you and Tony be totally open and honest with her in both situations. at 11 they are in between a child and teen and are far from stupid as you very well know. So just tell her how it is. Give her all the love you can. She will prob be a big help to you. Tell her you are sorry about her situation. But everything happens for a reason. Maybe God wants her there for you. Sometimes it is hard to see good things and reason in our lives because of all of the clouds but there is reason and I believe good will come of it.

I'm glad you have decided not to go alone to your fist treatment. I think you made a good decision there.

Glad your surgery went well. Just be careful with the port. My girlfriend had it also. Hers bled a little. But you don't want it to rip. So just take it easy and FOLLOW the doc's orders. K Lori