BC

[Pokerkitty6]

Hi all!!! A few nights ago I told a few of you that I had something to say and I would tell you when I am ready. Well tonight I feel ready to share. I have grade 3 invasive poorly diferentiated ductal type mammory carcenoma. In other words, I have breast cancer. It's freaking me out. Within the next two weeks I will be having a radical double masectomy. Some of my words may be spelled wrong, but you get the idea. It sucks because I have beautiful 36C tits. I mean they are f'in nice. I will undergo reconstruction at the same time and I think I am going to get me some bigger tits. What do ya'll think about 36D? My husband smiles everytime I say it!!!! When I am down and out, my hubby, Tony has been instructed by me to play some of my games. Feel free to ask is that you Tony or Renee? We will be honest with you. My doctors says I should be back to playing golf 6-12 months down the road. I'll just have to learn how to regrip with bigger tits. I probably have to grip the shaft and squeze my tits together. All humor aside, this is very serious for me. I thought I would just like to share my feelings with my NDN family. This site has and will continue to be a blessing for me, especially now, to keep my mind off of things and learn from others experience. I am still working in the golf shop and have my job secured when I have recovered enough to go back to work. Until then, I'll just keep happy thoughts in my head. Cheers and I'll c-ya at the tables!!!!

[BnLM5]

How is everything going PokerKitty? I am gonna go with it's all going smoothly. The physical and mental of everything and your niece. I've been thinking about you and your always in my prayers.

[freeringo]

How is everything going PokerKitty? I am gonna go with it's all going smoothly. The physical and mental of everything and your niece. I've been thinking about you and your always in my prayers.

Poor girls, got BAP on the brain.

Hey Kitty!!!

Relax

[freeringo]

Frankie looks alot like Eejit

[Pokerkitty6]

Oh yeah!!! BAP on the mind alright!!!.. Thanks for everything! My mind just went blank tonight. My husband asked what BAP stands for and I couldn't even tell him anything except we pool our money together. What does BAP stand for so I can answer him? My neice still lives with us and starts school on Monday. We have to go to open house on Friday so I can tell her teacher to keep her away from all sick kids. This is the wrong time in my life to have a kid! The germ and flu thing is scaring me to death. Chemo kills your immune system. Oh well, she is better here than in a foster home. I just wish the legal system would move a little faster so she can go back home and I can concentrate on me. Life happens, deal with it! Cancer Sucks!!! I feel great this week! Thank God!!!

[freeringo]

Im ashamed to say I don't know what BAP means either.

I just had Charter High School orientation and this is going to work out great.
Home schooling is where it's at.
We never get sick.
Good luck with everything.
Relax during BAP game
You have nothing to lose.
You don't need to pressure yourself right now on poker game.
Have fun with it.

[TerpZone]

"buy a piece"

I just discovered this like 20 mins ago when I was reading the bap rules!

[BnLM5]

Oh yeah!!! BAP on the mind alright!!!.. Thanks for everything! My mind just went blank tonight. My husband asked what BAP stands for and I couldn't even tell him anything except we pool our money together. What does BAP stand for so I can answer him? My neice still lives with us and starts school on Monday. We have to go to open house on Friday so I can tell her teacher to keep her away from all sick kids. This is the wrong time in my life to have a kid! The germ and flu thing is scaring me to death. Chemo kills your immune system. Oh well, she is better here than in a foster home. I just wish the legal system would move a little faster so she can go back home and I can concentrate on me. Life happens, deal with it! Cancer Sucks!!! I feel great this week! Thank God!!!

You are gonna be fine. Just a few things to keep in mind. You and every one at or in your house wash your hands with soap and lots of water frequently. (use lotion). Pathogens (bacteria or virus) has to enter your body before you will get sick. They do this in many ways...like chapped or cracks in your skin, or if it is air borne breathing germs from a sneeze or cough etc. Try to avoid touching money! (Only God knows who has touched it or where they have been) Avoid putting your hands in your mouth or on your face as much as possible. When doing things in public be aware of things like pushing shopping carts they are filthy like money. sign things with your own pen don't put it in your mouth. Just be aware of anything you touch. Keep your hands free of cracks or soars even your cuticles. And wash hands frequently. And of course avoid people with the flu or cold or sickness as any of us would normally. And you should be fine. Oh and don't pick your nose. LOL Just kidding but really. I am glad to hear you are feeling well, that is great. And good idea about the conference. Most importantly make sure your niece knows how important it is that she be as germ free as you are. Wash, wash, wash!

[Pokerkitty6]

Hi all! I did something today I've never done before. I shaved my head! My hair was falling out so bad, I had no choice. It's freaky. My neice brought me the dust pan and saw me tearing up and said it's ok, you're still a beautiful woman. I told her she was sweet. I also told her I was crying because I was having a funeral for my hair. So we said "goodbye hair" together. It was a moment, I'm sure neither one of us will ever forget. My husband is going to freak out when he gets home tonight and sees I have no hair. Marissa and I went to Publix and people were staring at me. I had a doo-rag on and they still stared. It was quite comical actually. I told her next time we go out I might go bald and we'll really have some fun. It was weird, I grabbed my purse to get my keys and found my hair brush. I guess I won't need that for a while so I put it up, more room in my purse. Having no hair does kinda make you feel free. I took a shower and thought, gee this is what it feels like to be a guy, I can be ready in 5 minutes. I put up my hair dryer and my hair straightner. I have a wig, but it feels weird. I don't think I will like wigs. It's going to be hard having no hair. I'll have to go around like this for at least 8 months. Thats a long time for a woman to have no hair. There are certin parts of me I love with no hair. I tell ya I've never been that smooth before, so I guess ya gotta take the good with bad. Maybe that's how I'll distract Tony from looking at my head. I start to get boobs and I go bald. Cancer sucks!

[BnLM5]

PokerKitty today as I read what you had to say about shaving your hair off I found my self confused by several emotions. I cried for you. It was really weird. Now I feel a calmness around me that I can't explain. First I was lost like I wanted to think of what I could say for you to feel better. But I couldn't think. Then your niece, wow she is learning about some important things in life right now and she doesn't even realize it. You are playing a very big role in her life at this time. I admire you so much for that. And Tony the love you have for him is obvious and he will think you are sexy I would bet on it! Then I cried for myself I think. As I yearn for love like that. When someone really loves you, they love you for who you are, and who you are is that what comes from within. The outer beauty is overlooked by true love. Then I smiled as I see the positive attitude in you with Marissa. While you try to overcome your insecurities about the world around you and what they think about the way you look. I know you don't want to hear this right now but it's true nonetheless so I will say it..... You having no hair is a much bigger deal to you because you are living in the sudden experience. So I am sure as many people/in public were not looking at you for the reason of your hair as it is not new to them like it is to you. You can make it fun, as fun is always good, but remember it is okay to be scared too and it's okay for Marissa to know that. I said a prayer for you both today. As for me I pray that God will give me the peace that passes understanding for what is. Because come what has or will is always hard to understand. I can see the calmness I am feeling now is that peace that passes understanding that I pray for. Keep your chin up and stay strong were gonna beat it. We have some cancer a$$ kicking to do. We are getting there. Losing your hair is knowing that you are one step closer to victory. Lots of Love to you PK from me. Lori

[Pokerkitty6]

Wow Lori! You bring out some wild emotions in me. You are truly a good person, this I know, you can't fake something like that. I appreciate you helping me be strong. On a happier note, I forgot to tell you Marissa made me a special breakfast this morning...first time she ever made scrabled eggs, coffee with a banana wedge, and lemon drop candy with a prune on the side. She did cheer me up and the eggs were good too!!!

[freeringo]

Bald women are a huge turn on!!!!!!!!!

[BnLM5]

Wow Lori! You bring out some wild emotions in me. You are truly a good person, this I know, you can't fake something like that. I appreciate you helping me be strong. On a happier note, I forgot to tell you Marissa made me a special breakfast this morning...first time she ever made scrabled eggs, coffee with a banana wedge, and lemon drop candy with a prune on the side. She did cheer me up and the eggs were good too!!!

Thank you! What a sweetheart your niece is! (very thoughtful) She is learning a love that is never forgot! She is a very lucky girl and I really believe she is in a good place right now! Well needed by both of you prob. Why do all the good things in life have to be so hard? Or so it seems. Maybe because it is so human to be more aware of the difficult times as we all too often take advantage of the easy times and our subconscious is not even aware. So there for we feel the hard time more. I don't really know the answer as that was just my thought on it. Keep smiling it is so important! I am stressing this to you. Keep your love close and your head up. Your are well on your way to getting a grip on it now. So keep it up and you will conquer it Kitty!

[eejit101]

Wow, i missed 150 posts in here.

Ill read it one day.

I do not look like frnakie goes to hollywood.

And lv ya PK

[taylovesthebeatles]

Pokerkitty, thanks again as always for the update. I pray for you and your family constantly, and think of you often- I feel so incredibly blessed to call you a sister and a friend.

I'm proud of you for having the courage to shave your head. Although the reasons are not nearly as traumatic as your own, I can definitely sympathize with the feeling of loss and disconnection from not being able to use and participate in the same things that others take for granted on a daily basis. On the other hand, it can make life so much easier sometimes! For me, I can avoid entire sections of stores simply because I can't wear certain items or styles of clothing, like shorts or pants. Think of how much time and money that saves! I don't want to sound like I'm trying to patronize you or anything like that, but hopefully the wigs will get more comfortable for you and you'll get to do all sorts of things you couldn't do as easily before, and it'll be fun!

I wish you all the best, and I can't wait for the next update on how you are doing. Love you, girl.

[Pokerkitty6]

Awww Tay, you're great! Thanks! I was just thinking about all the money we'll be saving on shampoo, conditioner, razors and shaving cream. We've already saved money by buying less wine, champagne, vodka, beer and redbull. It's soooo much cheaper when only one of you are drinking!!! I have been having one or two every now and then! I miss it. I love to party! When I get better, lookout!!! Luv you too!!!

[Lilred36]

Awww Tay, you're great! Thanks! I was just thinking about all the money we'll be saving on shampoo, conditioner, razors and shaving cream. We've already saved money by buying less wine, champagne, vodka, beer and redbull. It's soooo much cheaper when only one of you are drinking!!! I have been having one or two every now and then! I miss it. I love to party! When I get better, lookout!!! Luv you too!!!

When you get better doll,we will all party! One day we will have a street party just for NDNers! As always my prayers are with ya.

[Pokerkitty6]

Sooooo....I had my second round of chemo today, at least I didn't cry this time. I didn't want to say anything earlier because I was afraid you would kick me out of the BAP, but I felt good enought to play. I was doing good and then busted out with my 3-6's against 3-k's. Just some bad luck. Anyway I am a little more sick now. I really thought I would win something. Chemo this time around was still four hours long, but it did seem a little easier on be. I spent the time working on my fantasty football picks. Have to get myself ready for 2 weeks of misery. Cancer Sucks!!!

[GloBug]

Sooooo....I had my second round of chemo today, at least I didn't cry this time. I didn't want to say anything earlier because I was afraid you would kick me out of the BAP, but I felt good enought to play. I was doing good and then busted out with my 3-6's against 3-k's. Just some bad luck. Anyway I am a little more sick now. I really thought I would win something. Chemo this time around was still four hours long, but it did seem a little easier on be. I spent the time working on my fantasty football picks. Have to get myself ready for 2 weeks of misery. Cancer Sucks!!!

well you are vry strong to be able to go thru chemo and then play ib the tourney . you were doing so good. bad luck on the bust hand. imagine if he didnt hit you would be sittin pretty right now. its okay i dont think you would have gotten kicked out of bap game.

[BnLM5]

Sooooo....I had my second round of chemo today, at least I didn't cry this time. I didn't want to say anything earlier because I was afraid you would kick me out of the BAP, but I felt good enought to play. I was doing good and then busted out with my 3-6's against 3-k's. Just some bad luck. Anyway I am a little more sick now. I really thought I would win something. Chemo this time around was still four hours long, but it did seem a little easier on be. I spent the time working on my fantasty football picks. Have to get myself ready for 2 weeks of misery. Cancer Sucks!!!

Yep cancer sucks! I do agree. What do you mean you have to get yourself ready for two weeks of misery? Sorry you didn't win in the BAP game. You'll get em next time. Hopefully you will feel better tomorrow. That would be a little quicker than the first time. But it was a little easier on you this time. Probably is partly due to the fact that you were not as nervous as you were the first time. As you knew what to expect. Our nerves and stress level can sure take a toll on us. I can't wait until your treatments stop. How many treatments are in this round of chemo? If you don't mind, how often are they running a CBC on you (complete blood count)? I was just wondering... Take care, my thoughts and prayers are with you every single day have no doubt about that.

[freeringo]

Yep cancer sucks! I do agree. What do you mean you have to get yourself ready for two weeks of misery? Sorry you didn't win in the BAP game. You'll get em next time. Hopefully you will feel better tomorrow. That would be a little quicker than the first time. But it was a little easier on you this time. Probably is partly due to the fact that you were not as nervous as you were the first time. As you knew what to expect. Our nerves and stress level can sure take a toll on us. I can't wait until your treatments stop. How many treatments are in this round of chemo? If you don't mind, how often are they running a CBC on you (complete blood count)? I was just wondering... Take care, my thoughts and prayers are with you every single day have no doubt about that.

Mine too.

Today if the best day of your life.
Always remember that.

[Pokerkitty6]

Hi all! I'm feeling better today. Yesterday was really rough, never been so sick. I have 4 more chemo's to go. I'll finish them in Nov. or Dec. depending on their schedule and me not getting sick. They always check my blood count a couple days before chemo to make sure I can handle it. Then the day after like today, I go in 24 hours after chemo and get a shot. I think the shot is to boost my blood cells. I got some new medicine to help with my nasuea, so I hope this one works. Thanks for checking on me and I'll talk to ya soon.

[BnLM5]

Well we have had a bad day, a better day, now we are looking for a good day. So Great right on track. The shot, I am thinking is probably Neulasta. Neulasta is given 24 hours after chemo and 14 days before the next cycle. It stimulates the bone marrow to produce white blood cells which work as a defense mechanism for our immune system. Easier to say that they fight off infection, bacteria and such. Did you know that we have five different types of white blood cells and each one has a different purpose in the immune system. It is amazing how it all works together. I could bore you with biology for hours. But I won't. Although just to let you know it has helped me study so thank you. Anyway I hope your new meds work better. I hate throwing up and worse feeling like I am going to so I can only imagine how you feel. Hang in there two down It is always a good feeling to mark em off as complete. I pray for you every single day! Marissa too! How is school going for her? As soon as you feel better and get a chance rest assured I am waiting for an update. K ... Lots of love! Lori

[nodepositneeded]

Pokerkitty6 - Are the rumors true? You're coming to celebrate in Duluth with Tony once you're cancer free???

[Pokerkitty6]

I hope I can make that happen! I'll want a party after all of this and the NDN gang would be a great time. Sometime early next year I will be back to my old self! I had no idea about the different kind of white blood cells. Marissa is doing great, I'm just ready for her to back home with her Dad. This will take some time because we have to go thru the legal steps, such as family builders, anger management, etc. They drag it out for a long time.

[Pokerkitty6]

I'm so pissed right now I can hardly see straight! My boobs hurt and I need to pop a pill. Since I talked about Marissa in my bc thread I'll keep it here. She brings home a discipline letter today saying she is one step away from a refferal and being sent to the dean's office. She is disrupting class and will not be quiet when the teacher is talking. She is in 5th grade and this is only the second week of class. I told her that the consequence in to write a letter of apology to the teacher explaining why she kept talking and how she can prevent her actions in the future. Simple punishment...not according to Marissa because the teacher also wrote that a "discussion" should be appropriate punishment. Well I thought I should follow thru with the "letter". Marissa exploded and felt she should only do what her teacher told her to do, instead of me. She continued ripping up good paper and I made her stop, she then threw on the floor. I made her clean it up. She wants her Dad to rot in prison and she wants to live with her mother. I told her the law says she can't live with her mother. I told her to start writing the letter, she told me no and started to walk downstairs. I followed her and told her to get back up here and start writing. She then ran from me right out the front door. I chased her until I realized I can't catch her and this is why my boobs hurt. I'm not supposed to be running. I freaked out got the car, even went out "bald". I went straigt to security where we live and then called 911. continued...