I think you have too much on your mind and you need to smile. Look within yourself and say "I love Me" for change and learn to do so. Not even poker can't make you happy if you don't love yourself. Unfortunately you and only you can make you whole and happy (aside from God, sorry but I believe it true), than poker and a partners etc. can compliment you. Which you don't need much complimenting in the first place because you are a supper person in the first place. Too bad you can't see it like I can.