It's Getting Hot In Here...

[Dallas12]

Lorenzo Dow, an evangelist of the last century, was on a preaching tour when he came to a small town one cold winter's night.

He entered the local general store to get some warmth, and saw the town's lawyers gathered around the pot-bellied stove, discussing the town's business. Not one offered to allow Dow into the circle.

Dow told the men who he was, and that he had recently had a vision where he had been given a tour of Hell, much like the traveler in Dante's Inferno.

When one of the lawyers asked him what he had seen, he replied, "Very much what I see here: All of the lawyers, gathered in the hottest place.

[Pokerkitty6]

Florida Blessing

Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.
Please keep it cool in mid-July.

Bless the walls where termites dine
While ants and roaches march in time.

Bless our yard where spiders pass,
Fire ant castles in the grass.

Bless the garage, home to please,
Carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.

Bless the love bugs, two by two,
The gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.

Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,
In FLORIDA, Lord, you've put them all!

But this is home, and here we'll stay,
So thank you Lord, for insect spray.

HOLD IT.......... ...there' s more........ ...

YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN FLORIDA IN JULY WHEN. .

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of The ground.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron!

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window. (Been there, done that!)

You actually burn your hand opening the car door. (Yup, that too!)

You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out, end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

Ah, what a place to call home.

God Bless Our State of FLORIDA

[PANAMHIEST]

Florida Blessing

Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.
Please keep it cool in mid-July.

Bless the walls where termites dine
While ants and roaches march in time.

Bless our yard where spiders pass,
Fire ant castles in the grass.

Bless the garage, home to please,
Carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.

Bless the love bugs, two by two,
The gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.

Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,
In FLORIDA, Lord, you've put them all!

But this is home, and here we'll stay,
So thank you Lord, for insect spray.

HOLD IT.......... ...there' s more........ ...

YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN FLORIDA IN JULY WHEN. .

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of The ground.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron!

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window. (Been there, done that!)

You actually burn your hand opening the car door. (Yup, that too!)

You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out, end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

Ah, what a place to call home.

God Bless Our State of FLORIDA

sounds like texas! Nice post by the way really neat!