Favorite Golf Stories

[freeringo]

I'm in a 4some at Santa Clara Country Club. We are on the 14th tee
and my friend John tops his drive and it only goes about 30 yards.
He walks toward his ball to take a mulligan and a seagull swoops down
and picks up his ball. John pulls another ball from his pocket and throws it at the bird. The seagull jumps up and flys in a big circle, drops the golf ball in a near by pond and swoops down and nabs the other ball.
In the words of this years Ameican Idol winner Kris Allen when he met Slash
"I wanted to pee my pants".

True Story

[eejit101]

I dont have one.

But this link is good!

[thenutzaa1]

my first time golfing, i got really drunk and shot a 125. it was fun!!!!!

[knowledge]

I played at a local course and on the 5th hole jumped into a dry ditch about 4ft. deep and was so drunk they had to pull me out. Needless to say my day was done>

[freeringo]

Boulder Creek Country Club California, I am playing in
the firemans invitational. I arrive at the 14th hole
where the long drive contest is at. At this time in my life,
I was a 20 handicap and now I'm a 7. I only carried a 2 wood
and the hole was 325 yards long. The long drive flag was 10 feet
in front of the bunker right in front of the green. A big strappin dude hits
his ball 5 feet from bunker. High fives. I get up there with my 2 wood and hit
a ball way left over the condos. It starts to slice back, even more, it bounces off the cart path. Boing straight up and hits the cart path again,
this time bouncing back toward the fairway and into the front bunker of the green. I won a huge trophy for the longest drive. too funny

[knowledge]

That is too funny. I really enjoy the long cart path bounces, but here the cart paths are in such disrepair that you would stick in them just as soon as you would bounce out. It's horrible on local Myrtle Beach and this area courses. No repair cause of the shrinking market.......

[eejit101]

Lol ringo, shouldnt you forfeit for using some kind of manmade help?

[GloBug]

well my best golf story was yesterday. i got my 1st hole in one with a nasty hang over. 2nd hole and 85 yards with a 3/4 swing 9 iron. hangover gone instantly like i had a bowl of menudo. good times..

[knowledge]

Menudo isn't that pig ***?

[eejit101]

i assumed it was more slang for "402" or whatever

[GloBug]

Menudo isn't that pig ***?

no menudo is like hominy ,tripe and other goodies.

[Pokerkitty6]

Ok, my funniest golf story happened on Thanksgiving day. I'm the type of girl who tells the other women in the family to knock themselves out in the kitchen, even if Thanksgiving is at my house, I'm going golfing with the boys! Golf or kitchen work....golf wins everytime! We had an 11am tee time so I pay and ask for a cooler with some beer in it to start celebrating our day. They never opened food and beverage for that day because the pro shop was closing at noon. Now I'm not happy but I say ok and start golfing. I thought this would be so much better with beer so I ask a maintenace man if he will go to the corner and get me a 12 pack for my 4-some and I'll give hime $20. He calls his boss and says ok, but the next 12 pack the boss wants to go for the tip. Ok golf is good, beer is good, my 4-some is good, perfect day. We are ready to make the turn and I run to the clubhouse to use the bathroom. Oh no, the bathrooms are locked they are closed for the day. Great! I can't even go in someone else's yard because nobody works on Thanksgiving and everyone is home. There is a tunnel going underneath a highway to the next hole and I think alright, I just found my bathroom!!!! I always carry tissue in my bag so I'm good to go. I tell the other 2 guys in my 4-some to go on thru the tunnel thinking they would stand guard at the other end while I do my business. I'm taking a squat in the middle of the tunnell and it feels so good!!!! I look at the other end as I'm in mid stream and there is 4 old guys watching me. I stop in mid stream and say oh my god, you don't have to watch. We drive to the next hole where our golf buddys are waiting for us. I see some woods behind this house and I say hold on I have to finish. I find a spot and I'm saying ahhhhhh, and I hear a man say hello, he was in his backyard watering his plants with a big smile on his face. I say I'm sorry sir but I have to finish all the bathrooms on the course were locked. I told him bye and continued my round. The maintenace's man's boss found us and delivered the next 12 pack with 4 holes to go so I knew I would make it home to my own cozy bathroom!!!! My mom always said the difference between a man and woman in the real world is when we have to pee on the side of the road, a woman has to show the star and the moon!!!! Now I know exactly what she was talking about. That my friends is one of my funniest golf stories ever. The guys will never let me live this one down and I think about every year on Thanksgiving while I'm on the golf course!

[freeringo]

Ok, my funniest golf story happened on Thanksgiving day. I'm the type of girl who tells the other women in the family to knock themselves out in the kitchen, even if Thanksgiving is at my house, I'm going golfing with the boys! Golf or kitchen work....golf wins everytime! We had an 11am tee time so I pay and ask for a cooler with some beer in it to start celebrating our day. They never opened food and beverage for that day because the pro shop was closing at noon. Now I'm not happy but I say ok and start golfing. I thought this would be so much better with beer so I ask a maintenace man if he will go to the corner and get me a 12 pack for my 4-some and I'll give hime $20. He calls his boss and says ok, but the next 12 pack the boss wants to go for the tip. Ok golf is good, beer is good, my 4-some is good, perfect day. We are ready to make the turn and I run to the clubhouse to use the bathroom. Oh no, the bathrooms are locked they are closed for the day. Great! I can't even go in someone else's yard because nobody works on Thanksgiving and everyone is home. There is a tunnel going underneath a highway to the next hole and I think alright, I just found my bathroom!!!! I always carry tissue in my bag so I'm good to go. I tell the other 2 guys in my 4-some to go on thru the tunnel thinking they would stand guard at the other end while I do my business. I'm taking a squat in the middle of the tunnell and it feels so good!!!! I look at the other end as I'm in mid stream and there is 4 old guys watching me. I stop in mid stream and say oh my god, you don't have to watch. We drive to the next hole where our golf buddys are waiting for us. I see some woods behind this house and I say hold on I have to finish. I find a spot and I'm saying ahhhhhh, and I hear a man say hello, he was in his backyard watering his plants with a big smile on his face. I say I'm sorry sir but I have to finish all the bathrooms on the course were locked. I told him bye and continued my round. The maintenace's man's boss found us and delivered the next 12 pack with 4 holes to go so I knew I would make it home to my own cozy bathroom!!!! My mom always said the difference between a man and woman in the real world is when we have to pee on the side of the road, a woman has to show the star and the moon!!!! Now I know exactly what she was talking about. That my friends is one of my funniest golf stories ever. The guys will never let me live this one down and I think about every year on Thanksgiving while I'm on the golf course!

Talk about peeing in midstream.
I almost pee'd my pants in the middle if your story.
God that was funny.

My wife and I were driving to our cabin one morning and she annouces she has to pee. Well it's 7am and we havent seen a car in 30 min. So I pull over
at the entrance to a picnic ground and she squats in front of the car and no
sooner than she starts going, a pickup with a husband and wife drive down the hill toward us. Well they must of got a good laugh watching my wife scramble for cover and peeing on herself. Till this day she blames me for her embarrassment. Maybe it's because I can't keep a straight face everytime it comes up or we drive by the site again.

[freeringo]

Lol ringo, shouldnt you forfeit for using some kind of manmade help?

The big strappin guy I played with argued the point with several players, to no avail. They even tried to say it wasn't in the fairway so it shouldn't count.
They just had the contest on the wrong hole. The right one for me.

[Pokerkitty6]

I'm sure your wife would understand the part about the woman showing the star and the moon!!!! Always carry extra tissue, never know when you'll be in an emergency situation!!

[Pokerkitty6]

Glo...Congratulations on your hole in one. A memory made to last a lifetime and a story to be told over and over again!!!

[knowledge]

i SURE AM GLAD THIS POST WAS MADE i LOVED THEM ALL

[royaltyler]

man i wish i had a great on but the thing is my golf swing is horiable just like my spelling lol but anywase cadyshack is a prety good golf storie but the old man gets struck by lighting after his perfect game

[freeringo]

i SURE AM GLAD THIS POST WAS MADE i LOVED THEM ALL

Hole 13 at Boulder Creek is a par five where the tee box is
tucked away in the trees and you must clear a cuvert some 50 yards
ahead. The other side of the culvert is a good 10 feet above the tee.
Well, I line drive my tee shot right into the side of the bank about 2 feet down from the top. I grab my 5 iron to try and punch out. Standing on the side of the bank I swing and immediatly lose my balance and fall backwards right into 1 foot of water. Barely missing a large pipe in the water, I drag myself out to the laughing delight of my 4some. The ball did come out and 100 yrds up the fairway. So I'm stripping my wet muddy white shirt and shorts, squeezing out the excess water. It's a hot day and I'm good to go.
We finish the round and I'm dry now so we go the bar for a beer, I look a mess.
Little did I know that the little old ladies playing ahead of us saw the whole thing and every eye in the bar was staring at me and then came the applause, then the laughter. It's to go without saying that I didn't have to buy any beers that day.

[freeringo]

Oct 17th 1989, I am on the 18th tee at Tularcitos (now Summit Point)in Milpitas
when a 7.1 Earthquake hits. We could see the club house shaking, we were safe. WOW that was cool! We had no idea how bad it really was.
We had 1 person left to tee off and the funny thing was that for the next 5 minutes he couldn't keep a ball on his tee. Though we couldn't feel it, the ground was still shaking. We were planning on meeting our girl friends at
ElToritos in Santa Clara about 6 miles from golf course to watch the Giants-A's world series game. Little did we know, all the signal lights were out and traffic was at a stand still in every direction. We even resorted to driving with 2 wheels on the sidewalk in order to get to the resturant before the game started. I took us 1 hour 20 min to drive 6 miles. When we get there,
our girl friends are not there and the world series is being cancelled.
WE didn't have cell phones then and the land lines were mostly down.
The girls were coming from Boulder Creek right where the epicenter was.
We spent the night at a friends house in Sunnyvale and waited till morning
to drive home. Highway 9 looked like a war zone. When we got to boulder Creek we were shocked to find that more than a dozen homes had slid down the hill on the same road we lived on. Our house was Ok, the girls were OK and we counted our blessings that day. And NO I don't remember what I shot that day. The worst part of the whole ordeal is that the Giants had to face the best pitcher in baseball Dave Stewart 3 times in the first 4 games and was swept. That really sucked.