I need some advise

[GloBug]

i wouldnt listen to eejit. u get paid to help someone that is your job and from what u said u get satisfaction doing it. that guy needs your help because his family wont. leaving would make u a quitter and from what i know of u u are not a quitter. come on stick it out. the family is just being a family. im sorry but i wouldnt leave that person unless i was forced out by the family. i know your mouth might get u in trouble but if that is your last resort then let it get u in trouble. maybe thats what the family needs is a outside person to tell them something that they know but dont realize. im not sure if u work for a company or if u are self employed. either way it is a tough decision but ask yourself this if u leave will this person regress in health and if so then stick it out if not then find a replacement for u dont leave them hanging. i hope u make the right decision. i think u should stick it out and dont make it personal. it all business.

[BirdShow]

My advice would be don't forget to take care of #1. That's not being selfish. Selfish would be

to let this continue on when the stress obviously affects you in an unhealthy manner.

When that situation gets worse how do you think it will impact not just you but,

your family?

Doing the right thing isn't always easy.

[freeringo]

My advice would be don't forget to take care of #1. That's not being selfish. Selfish would be

to let this continue on when the stress obviously affects you in an unhealthy manner.

When that situation gets worse how do you think it will impact not just you but,

your family?

Doing the right thing isn't always easy.

My families health is 10 times more important.
It's not worth an extra $600 a month.
My wife is so relieved! The thing I forgot to mention is that
my wife was married to Bobs estranged son w/ 2 kids.
She hates Bob.
Enough said.
She still my best friend.

[taylovesthebeatles]

My families health is 10 times more important.
It's not worth an extra $600 a month.
My wife is so relieved! The thing I forgot to mention is that
my wife was married to Bobs estranged son w/ 2 kids.
She hates Bob.
Enough said.
She still my best friend.

Yeah you definitely needed to get out for your wife's sake too. Good job buddy. I'm proud of you for doing the right thing, as I said.

[woohoosue]

freeringo ..as this story developed I too see that your letter is/was the best solution. Sometimes our best intentions just enable people to continue a bad situation. I was a caregiver for a family member with outside help. When her mental stabilty weakened it became a bad situation but we continued on until she kicked a nurse.

As a family member you feel a duty to honor them by keeping them home but it takes a tole on both the caregiver and the patient. Sad to say though that her visits may still be met with distain if she puts him in a facility... it will be up to Bob to make that happen.

It's out of your hands now....You sound like a very caring individual and I'm sure another client will come along and those talents will be put to better use....

Give your wife a hug from me....I know how ex's can be.

[taylovesthebeatles]

i wouldnt listen to eejit. u get paid to help someone that is your job and from what u said u get satisfaction doing it. that guy needs your help because his family wont. leaving would make u a quitter and from what i know of u u are not a quitter. come on stick it out. the family is just being a family. im sorry but i wouldnt leave that person unless i was forced out by the family. i know your mouth might get u in trouble but if that is your last resort then let it get u in trouble. maybe thats what the family needs is a outside person to tell them something that they know but dont realize. im not sure if u work for a company or if u are self employed. either way it is a tough decision but ask yourself this if u leave will this person regress in health and if so then stick it out if not then find a replacement for u dont leave them hanging. i hope u make the right decision. i think u should stick it out and dont make it personal. it all business.

I completely agree with GloBug here. Are you self-employed or are you working as part of a larger company? If it's the latter I would see if there is a way you can get authority either from your company or through a lawyer or something similar (even if you're self employed you should look into this) about making sure the daughter has legal paperwork stating that she is the sole decider of care for your client. That way, yes the family will still be a family as Glo said, but you'll be able to more assert yourself under the law. As you said, you do enjoy this job, so I'd just stick it out and enjoy it. If you take these steps and they choose to get rid of you, as painful and hard as it might be, know that it's their loss and be secure in the knowledge that you did the right thing to give your client the best care possible. I know you believe that things happen for a reason, so if something happens that you don't plan on, just remember that. But hopefully those are some steps you can take to make the situation better.

Good luck, and as I said in an earlier post, I've had a lot of good and bad experience with caretakers, so if you have any other questions feel free to pm me or ask me about anything any time. Hang in there!

[GloBug]

just remember he needs your help more than he needs his families help. they cant help him with his daily needs. i hope u make the right decision.

[freeringo]

I am self employed and I know the family quite well.
I was prepared for all this, problem is the daughter is overwhelmed.
Now I have a cold, which is actually helping their family to rally around Bob.
And I have an excuse to do the bare minimum so they don't rely too heavily upon me. The daughter and I talk openly about this and I feel we are on the same page. She is just too emotional at times to talk to on a daily basis.
She is waiting to hear from some agency on how much Bob can get a month for in home support. That will dictate how many hours I can committ to him.
Right now he is paying me out of his pocket.

Thanks everyone for your advice.
I plan on sticking it out till I am no longer needed.

[GloBug]

I am self employed and I know the family quite well.
I was prepared for all this, problem is the daughter is overwhelmed.
Now I have a cold, which is actually helping their family to rally around Bob.
And I have an excuse to do the bare minimum so they don't rely too heavily upon me. The daughter and I talk openly about this and I feel we are on the same page. She is just too emotional at times to talk to on a daily basis.
She is waiting to hear from some agency on how much Bob can get a month for in home support. That will dictate how many hours I can committ to him.
Right now he is paying me out of his pocket.

Thanks everyone for your advice.
I plan on sticking it out till I am no longer needed.

well i am glad u are sticking around. i believe that u are doing a good thing. the family will go thru alot of pain and hardships with him being sick. its human nature. keep up the good work and good things will come to u in the future

[kingsnthahole]

listen, it's not your fault that they have health problems, so dont take it out on yourself if they wont do what is expected, DO NOT take it personally, work is business, and business should not be emotional