A Different Kind of Survey

[taylovesthebeatles]

After the awesome swearing edits from eejit earlier this evening, I thought I'd post this hilariously random survey so we could make some of our own and learn a little bit about NDN members in the process. Here's how it works. Follow the prompts/questions and select the answer that applies to you right now. Then take the corresponding word or phrase and insert it into the appropriate space in the letter. Finally, address the letter to anyone in this forum you want (I suggest Eejit or freeringo), and put their name in the title of your response. The reader of the letter can then look at the key to decipher your answers to various questions about yourself. Make sense? Okay here's the key- in the next post of this thread I'll post a letter to one of you!

Dear (Someone You've Spoken to Recently)

I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2) (3), and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning ( 8 ) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).

(12)
(Your name)



1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black - Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
Swet shirt- You're mean
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When you sma cked my ***
August - When I saw the purple monkey
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
French fries- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Other- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Grey - My boyfriend
White - My father
Black – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
None – My prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Sexy
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - hot
Other -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
OK - That you need a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exsist
Silly - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8 ) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White -Your love letters to me
Yellow - Your toe ring
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your nose hair clippers
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown- Your pet rock
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montanna underwear

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your glass eye
C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbour’s dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - My virginity
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Hate your cooking
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Was interviewed about the car you stole
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - haven't showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
water – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Pop – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
soft drink – I'm scratching my *** as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Iceland- With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
Spain - Go drown yourself

[taylovesthebeatles]

Dear KaciBlakely,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it when I finally changed my underwear outside of your office, and I saw you pull the clothes off the elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're sexy enough to understand that I get turned on only by garbage men. I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I never will forget that night and I will haunt you when I'm reincarnated as an Eskimo.

Please don't hurt me,
taylovesthebeatles

[GloBug]

wow this is a hard one i amd gonna have to try this when i am more awake. looks funny though.

[klinkman]

Dear eejit101,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our socks don't match. I think I realized it when your dog humped my leg under the bus, and I saw you carve your initials into my salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that there is no solution to you being a dumb kid. I'm returning your love letters to me to you, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break your legs and I'm scratching my *** as you read this.

Please don’t hurt me,
Klinkman

[KaciBlakely]

Dear KaciBlakely,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it when I finally changed my underwear outside of your office, and I saw you pull the clothes off the elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're sexy enough to understand that I get turned on only by garbage men. I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I never will forget that night and I will haunt you when I'm reincarnated as an Eskimo.

Please don't hurt me,
taylovesthebeatles

Lol this is great. I do not think I exactly understand though.

Let us see how many times it takes me to read the first post in this thread and I will try to write a letter.

I just have to go back and read so I can understand it, lol.

[eejit101]

Sarcastic surpise time...........

Wow!

[taylovesthebeatles]

Sarcastic surpise time...........

Wow!

Eejit, stop that, lol!

[KaciBlakely]

Eejit, stop that, lol!

Is he making fun of me for being slow? I think that was the joke he was implying. Way to be mean eejit!

[KaciBlakely]

My letter;

Dear Taylovesthebeatles,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but You're a leprechaun. I think I realized it that night you picked your nose at the mental hospital, and I saw you castrate your ‘My Little Pony’ collection. I'm sure you're senile enough to understand That I get turned on only by garbage men. I'm returning our matching snoopy underwear to you, but I'll keep the results of that blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I told my psychiatrist about the bruises and you should get that embarrassing rash checked.

Signed,

KaciBlakely


Okay so I'm going to try really hard to do this right. Tell me how I do Tay, okay? Hah, I rhymed!

I think I did it correctly. So what do you think?

[taylovesthebeatles]

Looks like you did just fine, you just missed the last question.

[KaciBlakely]

Looks like you did just fine, you just missed the last question.

I missed the last question? You sure??

[KaciBlakely]

My letter;

Dear Taylovesthebeatles,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but You're a leprechaun. I think I realized it that night you picked your nose at the mental hospital, and I saw you castrate your ‘My Little Pony’ collection. I'm sure you're senile enough to understand That I get turned on only by garbage men. I'm returning our matching snoopy underwear to you, but I'll keep the results of that blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I told my psychiatrist about the bruises and you should get that embarrassing rash checked.

Signed,

KaciBlakely


Okay so I'm going to try really hard to do this right. Tell me how I do Tay, okay? Hah, I rhymed!

I think I did it correctly. So what do you think?

What does Asethitic pleasure mean eejit?

I assumed you just took off the bulk part of it and that's cool. I was using it while I was creating my letter and I just forgot to remove it.

So when does the chat trivia start?

[eejit101]

Dear NDN,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think i realised it when we skinny dipped in the bathtub at the mental hospital, and I saw you hit on my father. I'm sure you're high enough to understand that we're related. I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep my common sense as a memory. You should also know that i told in my confession today about the moose poaching, and thanks for the cocaine.

Greeting to your frog, Leonard.

Phil

[freeringo]

Dear Me,


I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm selling myself for candy.
I think I realized it when I tripped on peanut butter at the mental hospital and I saw you sit on my prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude.
I'm sure you're shamed enough to understand that I may pee my pants.
I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep my common sense
as a memory. You should also know that I haven't showered in a month and
I love Oprah Winfrey.