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  1. #1
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    Quote Originally Posted by eejit101 View Post
    A few good men - "you cant handle the truth"

    old school - EVERYTHING!

    Sex Drive -

    Randy: You wear thong underpants?
    Andy: You want us to take our shirts off?
    Randy: Where do you live?
    Andy: Is your mom hot too?
    Randy: Where do you live?
    Andy: What's your address?
    Randy: You like pizza?

    Randy: So where's Felecia?
    Andy: Felatia. Yeah.
    Ian: She's in the...
    Andy: FelaaaCHA. You bangin' her?
    Ian: We're just friends.
    Randy: I'm uncircumcised!
    Girl: **** off.
    Randy: Wait, I thought you took her to prom?
    Ian: Yeah, but it was a just friends kinda thing.
    Randy: You should bang her. We would.
    Andy: Dude, we would bang her so hard!
    Randy: Tell her we'll bang her for you if you're not into it!
    Andy: Yeah, hard!
    Randy: With our dicks!
    Andy: Our dicks are huge!
    Randy: You can see them from space!


    Ezekiel: No, I wouldn't know anything about your 69' GTO, 454 Ram-Air Intake, 4.11 Rear-Posi... Somethin' like that?
    Ezekiel: Yeah... That must have fallen Right out of the Sky. Well, Have fun with your Future Car, Spaceman!
    I have never seen this movie Sex Drive. Seems like a movie I will need to netflix. Note to self not with any minors like my younger sister though. LOL.

  2. #2
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    kaci dont forget old school HAHAHAHA

  3. #3
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    Kaci, trust me.


    Get old school and sex drive and eurotrip.

    All comedy brilliance

  4. #4
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    american pie 2
    "my name is Peetey, and i have gigantic BALLS!"

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingsnthahole View Post
    american pie 2
    "my name is Peetey, and i have gigantic BALLS!"
    These are hilarious from American Pie 2 also. Love it, lol.


    Stifler: Jim. Can't you keep your shirt on? You're scaring the chicks away.

    Jim's Dad: You may be Jimbo, or Jumbo, or Jimbodini to those guys in there, but there are still two people who haven't forgotten where James Emmanuel Levenstein came from. We're awful proud of you son.
    Jim: Thanks, Dad.
    Jim's Dad: Don't forget your penis cream.

    Michelle's Friend: You are so sweet. He *is* special.
    Michelle: He's my *****.
    Jim's Dad: [to Natalie's Dad] Hi, I'm Jim's Dad. You must be the parents of this young lady. I didn't get your daughter's name, but hopefully my son did.

    [Stifler thinks champagne is being poured onto his head when he's actually being urinated on from the balcony]
    Stifler: I can taste the bubbles.

    [during drive to lake]
    Stifler: Oh, yeah. The Stifmeister's coming back to Grand Harbor. Deck the halls. Bye-bye, Great Falls. Wipe my *** and lick my balls. It's Stifler time, baby. Whoo-hoo-hoo. Whoo-hoo-hoo.

    Jim: I kind of super-glued myself to... uh... myself.

    Jim's Dad: Musilage is dangerous territory, and uhh, I would think any adhesive product would have a warning right on the tube.
    Jim: I thought it was a, uhh, a lubricant. Ok, i was trying to use lubricant.
    Jim's Dad: Oh... oh...
    Wheelchair Lady: **looking at ***** Palace** Son, couldn;t you have left that disgusting thing at home?
    Jim's Dad: Excuse me?
    Wheelchair Lady: Well, that kind of material is offensive to me.
    Jim's Dad: Ohh, well we're sorry, but uh, but you see my son COULDN'T leave it at home because uhh, he's having a bit of a MEDICAL EMERGENCY?
    Jim: That's right. Thanks Dad.
    Jim's Dad: Your opinion of his taste in video rentals is no a priority lady. Ok? It's at the bottom of the totem pole. My son is sitting here right now with his hand glued to his penis, but that doesn't mean anything to you does it? Because you dont have a penis. Or maybe you do.

    Male EMT: excuse me sir, are you a family member? **asking about jim when he glues himself**
    Stifler: **** no! This is just too good to miss!
    Male EMT: Ok sir, you're just going to have to wait here.

    I love this movie. So many good lines even though they are not appropriate for youngins. Makes it all the better, lol.

  6. #6
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    I just got my tshirt shipped. It's the fight club one, so in honor of that, these are great Fight Club quotes.

    Tyler Durden: "I want you to do me a favor."
    Narrator: "Yeah, sure..."
    Tyler Durden: "I want you to hit me as hard as you can."
    Narrator: "What?... in the face?"
    Tyler Durden: "Surprise me."
    Narrator: "This is so ****ing stupid."

    Tyler Durden: "Did you know if you mixed equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate you can make napalm?"
    Narrator: "No. I did not know that. Is that true?"
    Tyler Durden: "That's right; one can make all kinds of explosives using simple household items..."
    Narrator: "Really?"
    Tyler Durden: "If one were so inclined."

    [after vigorous sex with Tyler Durden]
    Marla Singer: "My God. I haven't been ****ed like that since grade school."

    Richard Chesler: "Is that your blood?"
    Narrator: "Some of it, yeah."

    Tyler Durden: "The first rule of Fight Club is - you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is - you DO NOT talk about Fight Club. Third rule of Fight Club, someone yells Stop!, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule, only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule, one fight at a time, fellas. Sixth rule, no shirt, no shoes. Seventh rule, fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule, if this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight."

    [after meeting and having sex with Marla]
    Tyler Durden: "Man, you've got some ****ed up friends, I'm tellin' ya. Limber, though..."

  7. #7
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    It's interesting the lines an Oscar nominated movie has in it. These are from Titanic.

    Rose: I don't see what all of the fuss is about. It doesn't look any bigger than the Mauritania.
    Cal Hockley: You can be blasé about some things, Rose, but not about Titanic. It's over a hundred feet longer than the Mauritania and far more luxurious.

    Old Rose: Fifteen-hundred people went into the sea, when Titanic sank from under us. There were twenty boats floating nearby... and only one came back. One. Six were saved from the water, myself included. Six... out of fifteen-hundred. Afterward, the seven-hundred people in the boats had nothing to do but wait... wait to die... wait to live... wait for an absolution... that would never come.

    Fabrizio: I can see the Statue of Liberty already!... Very small, of course.

    Bert Cartmell: It's a big boat, huh?
    Cora Cartmell: Daddy, it's a ship!
    Bert Cartmell: You're right.

    Molly Brown: You shine up like a new penny.

    Rose: Teach me to ride like a man.
    Jack: And chew tobacco like a man.
    Rose: And spit like a man!
    Jack: What, they didn't teach you that in finishing school?

    Jack: That's the one good thing about Paris: there's a lot of girls willing to take their clothes off.

    Jack: Where to, Miss?
    Rose: To the stars.

    Brock Lovett: Three years, I've thought of nothing except Titanic; but I never got it... I never let it in.

  8. #8
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    The Shawshank Redemption Quotes

    Warden Samuel Norton: "Do you enjoy working in the laundry?"
    Andy Dufresne: "No sir, not especially."

    [Boggs sizes Andy up]
    Boggs: "Hey, anybody come at you yet? Anybody get to you yet?"
    [Andy looks at him in puzzlement]
    Boggs: "Hey, we all need friends in here. I could be a friend to you."
    [Andy walks away]
    Boggs: "Hey... Hard to get. I like that..."

    1967 Parole Hearings Man: "Ellis Boyd Redding, your files say you've served 40 years of a life sentence. Do you feel you've been rehabilitated?"
    Red: "Rehabilitated? Well, Now let me see. You know, I don't have any idea what that means."
    1967 Parole Hearings Man: "Well, it means that you're ready to rejoin society..."
    Red: "I know what *you* think it means, sonny. To me it's just a made up word. A politician's word, so young fellas like yourself can wear a suit and a tie, and have a job. What do you really want to know? Am I sorry for what I did?"
    1967 Parole Hearings Man: "Well, are you?"
    Red: "There's not a day goes by I don't feel regret. Not because I'm in here, or because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then: a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try and talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. But I can't. That kid's long gone and this old man is all that's left. I got to live with that. Rehabilitated? It's just a bull**** word. So you go on and stamp your form, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a ****."

    Red: [narrating] "I must admit I didn't think much of Andy first time I laid eyes on him; looked like a stiff breeze would blow him over. That was my first impression of the man."

    District Attorney: "And that also is very convenient, isn't it, Mr. Dufresne?"
    Andy Dufresne: "Since I am innocent of this crime, sir, I find it decidedly *inconvenient* that the gun was never found."

    Andy Dufresne: "That's the beauty of music. They can't get that from you... Haven't you ever felt that way about music?"
    Red: "I played a mean harmonica as a younger man. Lost interest in it though. Didn't make much sense in here."
    Andy Dufresne: "Here's where it makes the most sense. You need it so you don't forget."
    Red: "Forget?"
    Andy Dufresne: "Forget that... there are places in this world that aren't made out of stone. That there's something inside... that they can't get to, that they can't touch. That's yours."
    Red: "What're you talking about?"
    Andy Dufresne: "Hope."

    Red: "Ever bother you?"
    Andy Dufresne: "I don't run the scams Red, I just process the profits. Fine line, maybe, but I also built that library and used it to help a dozen guys get their high school diploma. Why do you think the warden lets me do all that?"
    Red: "To keep you happy and doing the laundry. Money instead of sheets."

    Red: "Everybody's innocent in here."
    Andy Dufresne: "What about you?"
    Red: "Only guilty man in Shawshank."

    Red: [narrating] "We sat and drank with the sun on our shoulders and felt like free men. Hell, we could have been tarring the roof of one of our own houses. We were the lords of all creation. As for Andy - he spent that break hunkered in the shade, a strange little smile on his face, watching us drink his beer."

    Warden Samuel Norton: "Lord! It's a miracle! Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind!"

  9. #9
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    The silence of the lambs scared the **** out of me when I first watched it. I was young mind you but here's some of my favorite moments from the film itself.

    Hannibal Lecter: "First principles, Clarice. Simplicity. Read Marcus Aurelius. Of each particular thing ask: what is it in itself? What is its nature? What does he do, this man you seek?"
    Clarice Starling: "He kills women..."
    Hannibal Lecter: "No. That is incidental. What is the first and principal thing he does? What needs does he serve by killing?"
    Clarice Starling: "Anger, um, social acceptance, and, huh, sexual frustrations, sir..."
    Hannibal Lecter: "No! He covets. That is his nature. And how do we begin to covet, Clarice? Do we seek out things to covet? Make an effort to answer now."
    Clarice Starling: "No. We just..."
    Hannibal Lecter: "No. We begin by coveting what we see every day. Don't you feel eyes moving over your body, Clarice? And don't your eyes seek out the things you want?"

    Hannibal Lecter: "Now then, tell me. What did Miggs say to you? Multiple Miggs in the next cell. He hissed at you. What did he say?"
    Clarice Starling: "He said, "I can smell your cunt.""
    Hannibal Lecter: "I see. I myself cannot. You use Evian skin cream, and sometimes you wear L'Air du Temps, but not today."

    Murray: "Is it true what they're sayin', he's some kinda vampire?"
    Clarice Starling: "They don't have a name for what he is."

    Clarice Starling: "If you didn't kill him, then who did, sir?"
    Hannibal Lecter: "Who can say. Best thing for him, really. His therapy was going nowhere."

    Hannibal Lecter: "Jack Crawford is helping your career isn't he? Apparently he likes you and you like him too."
    Clarice Starling: "I never thought about it."
    Hannibal Lecter: "Do you think that Jack Crawford wants you sexually? True, he is much older but do you think he visualizes scenarios, exchanges, ****ing you?"
    Clarice Starling: "That doesn't interest me Doctor and frankly, it's, it's the sort of thing that Miggs would say."
    Hannibal Lecter: "Not anymore."

    ame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb: "It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it's told."
    Catherine Martin: "Please mister, let me go! My family will give you anything you want!"
    Jame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb: "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."

    Hannibal Lecter: "Why do you think he removes their skins, Agent Starling?"
    [sarcastically]
    Hannibal Lecter: "Enthrall me with your acumen."
    Clarice Starling: "It excites him. Most serial killers keep some sort of trophies from their victims."
    Hannibal Lecter: "I didn't."
    Clarice Starling: "No. No, you ate yours."

    Clarice Starling: "Did you do all these drawings, Doctor?"
    Hannibal Lecter: "Ah. That is the Duomo seen from the Belvedere. Do you know Florence?"
    Clarice Starling: "All that detail just from memory, sir?"
    Hannibal Lecter: "Memory, Agent Starling, is what I have instead of a view."

    Hannibal Lecter: [on telephone] "I do wish we could chat longer, but... I'm having an old friend for dinner. Bye."

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