ok so i have this friend who doesn't take too kindly to the law, and he's a smart @$$ when he talks to them....

anyways, he gets pulled over for doing 95 on a 65 highway. The cop walks up to the car and says to him, "boy, iv'e been waiting here all day for you, son!"
my friend, without even flinching says, "sorry officer, i got here as fast as i could!"
the officer cracks up laughing and gives my buddy a warning and before he walks away says "Stop F***ing speeding!"