jack bauer dreaming

[woohoosue]

Jack Bauer always tests positive for steroids. Not that he uses steroids. It's because steroids are made from Jack Bauer.

[woohoosue]

...and on the seventh day Jack Bauer said, "I'll take it from here."

[woohoosue]

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

[woohoosue]

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.

[eejit101]

Ther are 2 hands that beat a royal flush... Jack Bauers left hand, and his right hand.

If Jack Bauer would have been born a Spartan - the movie would have been called "1"

JAck Bauer never retreats - He just attacks in the opposite direction

[ScareCrowAKA]

I heard Jack Bauer has, but at the same time is Immune to every STD know to man. Why? Because he is the F'n man.

[knowledge]

Jack Bauer is the, I take that back NDN is the jack bauer of today

[allinking17]

Some i found:

Jack Bauer once played Lance Armstrong and Chuck Norris in a "who has the most testicles contest." He beat them both by a combined total of 46.

Ancient peoples sacrificed virgins to Jack Bauer in anticipation of his birth

Gas prices go up during a crisis because the government needs to pay for Jack Bauer's cell phone bill

Bullets don't kill Jack Bauer because they're afraid to

The reason it is forbidden to show Muhammad’s face is because they don’t want Jack Bauer to recognize him

If Jack Bauer was on Brokeback Mountain, there would be no *** cowboys, just dead ones

In high school, Jack Bauer got a job working as a department store Santa. He was fired after he tortured a child to tell him her Christmas list.

Terrorists go to prison for protection from Jack Bauer. It rarely actually works.

Every time you blink Jack Bauer kills a terrorist, not because you blinked, but because that how many terrorists he kills.