Sue you are going to make me laugh or cry, stop it!

Yeah I grew up so fast, and I feel like I missed some important years being well, a kid. I feel hopeless a lot though, I know being a mom is important, but I feel like, what the hell do I want to do with my life. I want to make something of myself, do I need to? Should I just be an awesome mom, everything mine wasn't, should that be enough? Now I feel like I am bad mouthing my own mother who I love so much, more than she could know. Her and my father always provided us with the best clothes, nice house, vacations etc, but I wanted more than that, I would trade it all, just to be close with her. Ok well this post has totally changed from what I was trying to write, but my fingers can't keep up with my thoughts, and feelings, and dammit it feels hella good to talk about it, whoooo!