The sky was cloudy,and the breeze was blowing. I had decided to take a walk without my left shoe on. As I went along I thought i might stop at the curb and turn around because my pants seem to be falling from my backside because I had forgot my belt, left it on my bed, along with a few other things that I may need. I pulled up my pants, headed over to the kitchen to grab a fork for my possum salad for lunch.

"This crap tastes like ****"

As I say that, a loud thud. **** hit the fan, literally! So I duck for cover, under my poker magazine collection where I see a photo with a bonus add!It was for a sportsbook. So I took out my phone to make a bet on the cowboys because without Farve, Green Bay doesn't stand a chance. Now as I head outta the door, thunder strikes upon me! Just like last time it was Thunder my pet squirrel.He like's to eat sour balls,the green ones give him some nasty gas.Now I got my umbrella out from under the big closet where thunder lives. Now we're headed back out but the phone rings before I close the door.IT's the call I have to take or else I shall lose my pants. Now, with the phone on my done list. I head back out and lock the door. Thunder and I make it into my car in which runs on water. I strap on my seat bealt, turn the radio up, and leave my house searching for a friend that once ate four hundred pink,pickled boiled armadillo eggs. Yes, you read that correctly, four hundred armadillo eggs, ewwww!

I drove about twenty minutes until I reached the point break movie museum and I literally had to stop!To my disbelief I saw something I'd never seen before! Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves playing heads up with Phil Hellmuth, the whiner himself! As his braclets rattled he quickly yelled, "I'm all In." So after losing, I gave Patrick and Keanu high fives, stood up and walked away.So down the blue jello road i went whistling that tune "LILRED made the Sunday Warmup and then he donked out" dreaming what might have been, but yet again, never was!

After this terrible crucifixion of a poor soul at poker he logs in. After checking
NDN for new posts, he decides to play some slots and make some post replies, adding five words to the silly, but funny, story developing into a thrilling insight, into a modern day narration of donks,thrillseekers,players and sharks.

Soon it was clear that something had to be done about his ongoing problem with my problem of constant visions, visions of crazy things like cracking A's with nothing. All this had to end,so off to bannaville, USA, where morons pulled golden handles and I had a banana! How I love thee banana my one and only true companion over the lonely years. In so many ways, bannanas either red,blue, or yellow, all cause the same effect! You'll wanna ask ND about USCTrojans. There must be some explanation as to why he is so cool (and handsome), traits uncommon for most squirrels! Speaking of squirrels, did you know that they pick football, but only on cloudy, breezy afternoons, while your sitting there with your right shoe on. Jumping red balls of fire, I feel like a teenager about to enter the prom.

Sweet sixteen, basketball, prom........everything you could imagine could happen, and did. I lost my virginity that night to the sexiest thing I have seen. Imagine that mascots suprise when the deed was finally done! And out of that union along came a little boy. He was named Doubledown, because I couldnt be more stupid. Blackjack his dog and Fold his cow, yeah, a cow!

Both butt ugly, they entered a cheap restaurant in which a beauty contest was beginning. Was actually wet T-shirt contest! Laughing, the MC announced winners; which all had enormous titties!

The walk would soon end, as well as my life. Remembering that possum salad lunch made me sick as hell. Poker with my buddies will solve all lifes problems except money, cause lets face it, I can't win at cards. I'm either unlucky or just a victim of being stupid. If stupidity was a crime I'd be in prison for the rest of my life.

CRAP, I say......no, craps! Yo tho is my favorite game. Pass line,dice set and a six, okay lets roll. Seven, seven, eleven, eight, five, four, two, thirteen, "HOW in the Hell?" The stickman couldn't believe it either but right there, before my glass eye was 6 and 7? Has this ever happened, don't think so. Winner, yelled "and it won't again pard".

And to this day I am told to take these, bruises from the beating as a reminder. Silver bells are a sign that it's slot machine time in Mississippi! Thunder and I hope gold coins are my lucky find. Crab legs, Crawfish, and alot of smelly fish will do as will the yams, cornbread, and NeverWin's famous Chicken Parmesan. With all this to eat I must find some drink. Leaving Mississippi, I head east, I want to stop at 'Lilreds for a couple beers in the nice Florida sun.The "OVAL OFFICE" lilred says would be a perfect poker, hangover cure, burger and a beer.

We've exploded, the animals stink! Dabber and his friends are broke,fat and happy. Let's end this puppy right here!However that beating on the toilet and pot of soup coming outa of my big pocked butt, made me think.Maybe the "Hardrock" will treat us like rock stars? So off to the poker room cause there was pokin to do! Look DABBER! Elvis is wearing a dealers visor. These guys rock, I'm going all in, my hand is suited, so I grab a crawdad bar and begin swinging it wildly.As a blue dragon appeared I finished my 10th drink.
A sadistic blend of tequilla and sweet potatos swirl gently from my nostrils,as I lose the tourney to DABBER!
Just as we were leaving, I went to OTB and (what the hell is OTB). Off track betting is great! If only my luck would were like the rocketmans,I would win the raffle everyday!
"We must find my left sock as my feet stink.Lilred has put on a blue sombrero, to hide his bald head from the sun! The foot odor was really
quite nice. I love putrid, rancid, odor that really really burns your nostrils as the sevens line up for me! This tequilla however doesn't seem to burn.
Neverwinhere wants to shoot off Dabbers stinky foot, but Lilred's bald head is blocking her way, oh damn!

Yesterday USCTrojans kicked my hat off so my head, so everyone saw the thing that neverwin painted! It was "who should I bet on?" To what I quietly thought. Golf, the ultimate sport, Tiger seems like the obvious choice,
so I dated his wife!

And ummm was she hot! This will end soon I thought but little did I know
that NDN said NEVER, NEVER screw with a married woman! Learning from experience, ND wanted to prevent USC from getting laid! It worked, no more sex, what was I gonna do? Should I find another married hottie and get laid?

No I will nail someone young, fresh, without any commitments! No matter what his name! Errr I mean, HER name, err I don't know anymore!!!
Fred, I called sensually, hurry, look at her huge titties!!!! Your's are bigger I think.

Anyways...off we went to Vegas, can't be hard to find something we all will win at, well hopefully that I will win at and then stay the night and go win more tommorow,if not more possum salad and broke back home I'll be, listening to the wife untill the liquor kicks in, then maybe I'll lick her!

Mmmm do I love licking! Where is this going I really dont know but I'm
up to the task. Orangatans are throwing dollars at NEVERWIN and she wont even turn the other cheek. "Please show your cards" the dealer says "cards my ***" I replied!

Suddenly, security personnel surrounded me. Easy 'big boy', my mom will beat the freaking crap out of you. But ****, how will she get here? Take her left shoe off but for what I thought! Oh, it causes her pants to fall off, but wait!
I forgot the possum salad!Thinking quickly with no fear I opened my backpack and my pants fell to my knees. I could feel the possum licking again. Hurry eejit, you gonna miss the damn show you wanted to see! It's the one with that NEVERWINHERE stars in. It's worth a look at least I am getting so excited about my best happy ending ever! Hopefully I will be a viewer? That's not gonna happen!

I want to play now! NWH told me it's mine and I will win tonight! Win, thought you said SIN. All but 6 they can kiss my sweet ***!

The rest save for pall bearers!Lilred scratches his head and wonders where this thread went wrong. Johnpoker cant cash fulltiltpoker check,needs to get a real bank. I quit banking cause I cant win at anything LOL