The Inevitable Laws of Work Part 1

1. If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.

2. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

3. Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

4. It doesn't matter what you do. It only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.

5. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

6. The more you put up with, the more you are going to get.

7. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

8. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

9. When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

10. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a darn fool about it.

11. There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.

12. Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.

13. Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."

14. Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a ****tail hour.