I was doing a survey and saw these. They are humourous and we can add to them later on. Please participate in this.
1. My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her ...or something like that.
2. If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
3. Bad Cop! No Donut!
4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
5. It's lonely at the top, but you eat better
6. Sorry, I don't date outside my species
7. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.
8. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
9. It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
10. When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
11. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
12. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
13. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
14. The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
15. My kid had sex with your honor student.
16. If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
17. Help wanted: Telepathy ... you know where to apply.
18. I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
19. Don't be sexist - broads hate that
20. Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window
21. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
22. I Have The Body Of A God......Buddha.
23. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
24. 5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
25. Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
Those are they favorites I saw.
If you have any hilarious ones please add them. I'd love to see some more funny ones. I'd like to buy some of these but don't know where to either.
