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I'm making this thread for everyone to post their favorite blonde jokes in because everyone likes a good blonde joke.
Or at least you should.
Here you go I'll start it off.
I'm not claiming to have written any of these but have a jokes notebook so I don't know where they all come from. This is just good fun.
Blonde joke #1.
The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"
haha
Blonde joke #2.
A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,
"Where did you get that?"
The pig replied,
"I won her in a raffle!"
This one makes me laugh every time. lol.
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin,
"For best results, put on two coats".
Stopped counting them because I'm just going through a file of ones I've saved hoping everyone can have a good laugh so I'll list a few more here and go on to somethig else right now. I just like laughing though so yeah.
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:
"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!
Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,
"I think they could be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said,
"No, I think these are deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!
A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,
"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
Last one for this post. Hope you guys enjoyed those.
A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.
Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,
"I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the blonde insisted saying,
"No. A bet's a bet."
Then the redhead said
"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied
"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"
Lol. That last one might be my favorite of all time. It's HIGHlarious. Get it? Because he jumped. anyways, haha.
I feel dumb, but I need someone to explain this one to me. I don't get it?Quote:
Originally Posted by KaciBlakely
It's the person asking the pig. The pig answers. Not the blonde. As in the pig is smarter than her so she answers. Lol tay!Quote:
Originally Posted by taylovesthebeatles
Ohhh the pig! Duh! Lol I'm totally reading the forums while in class so I didn't catch that. Go me. Thanks for the explanation!Quote:
Originally Posted by KaciBlakely
No need to thank me but I just think you are completely blonde now. There's no changing my mind either tay! lol. jk. well maybe. But I can understand misreading the forums. Happens to me too.Quote:
Originally Posted by taylovesthebeatles
Quote:
Originally Posted by taylovesthebeatles
okay please tell me if you are a blonde or not. i am one and I got it. LOL
Only people that are not blonde can get the joke. LOL just kidding.Quote:
Originally Posted by taylovesthebeatles
These made my mind melt!
hey come on I am a blonde and I got it. LOLQuote:
Originally Posted by Dallas12
You mean you have a mind to melt in the first place?Quote:
Originally Posted by eejit101
That's shocking to me to be honest.
LOL Eej!
why do blondes wear hoop earrings? so they have some place to put their legs during sex.
LOL believe me, I'm definitely not blonde. Klinkman doesn't go for the blondes at all, haha.Quote:
Originally Posted by KaciBlakely
That is so funny i almost smiledQuote:
Originally Posted by KaciBlakely
I am definitely not a blonde, I'm not sure klinkman would find me as attractive if I were!Quote:
Originally Posted by 67christine
lol Dallas I'm definitely not blonde. As I said to KaciBlakely, I was trying to read the NDN forums while in class and I misread it. Go me!Quote:
Originally Posted by Dallas12
I'm not blonde either. Glad to have a happy thread like this.Quote:
Originally Posted by taylovesthebeatles
WOW I can sense the sarcasm just coming right off of you. It's either sarcasm or the shine from you being a blonde. Will decide momentarily....It's the sarcasm. Yep I decided but at least I tried to default it to something else. Right? Right?Quote:
Originally Posted by eejit101
a doctor is caught having sex with one of his patients, and within minutes the whole hospital is talking about it. later that day hes cornered by an administrator, who says, "rumor has it you had sex with a patient. i demand an explanation."
"look," says the doc. "im single. im not the first doctor to screw one of his patients, and i wont be the last. so whats the big deal?"
"but, sam, youre a veterinarian!"
EW! gROSS! tHAT'S hilarious but sick to imagine.
nice punchline on that one and that blonde joke is funny.
But you should've said A blonde doctor just so we wold get it better.
I'm a little blonde today so yeah.
a depressed-looking regular enters the bar and orders a soda. the bartender asks why he doesnt want his usual shot.
the man replies, "i dont drink anymore. last night i blew chunks."
"so what?" the bartender replies. "everyone gets a little sick after drinking at times."
"no, no," the man replies. "you dont understand. chunks is my dog."
I'm thinking you have a talent for finding nasty pervy animals/human sex jokes.
And At one point it's funny -the gross humour.
The other thing is I'm pregnant and experience morning sickness and that's not too funny for my stomach right now.
If would could keep this thread a little cleaner I'd appreciate it.
I don't want to barf on my laptop. lol.