A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a vodka.
The barman looks at him and says "Sorry mate, we dont serve food!"
If u dont think this is the best joke ever, post your own!
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A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a vodka.
The barman looks at him and says "Sorry mate, we dont serve food!"
If u dont think this is the best joke ever, post your own!
Ok, here's one.
The Pope was visiting New York City. As he was getting into his limosine, he decided he wanted to try driving so he told his driver to get in the back, and he got behind the wheel. Understandably, he drove poorly, and not soon after he started driving he was pulled over. The cop walked up to the car, took one look at who was behind the wheel, and went back to his car. He called the chief of police and said "You'll never believe who I just pulled over for reckless driving!" and the chief said "The Mayor?" Nope. "The President?" Nope. "Well, I don't know, who is it?" So the cop said, "I'm not sure, but he has the Pope for a chauffeur!"
There was this married couple who had been married for about a year. The husband had this annoying habbit of farting every morning before getting out of bed.
One morning the wife said
"you are going to fart your guts out one morning if you keep doing that"
THe husband just laughed at the comment from his wife.
THe next morning the wife got up early to prepare a turkey for that nights dinner. As she was removing the insides of the Turkey she had an idea.
She took the guts of the turkey and carefully placed them around her husband in bed.
A little while later the husband came down stairs with a puzzled look on his face.
"Is every thing all right dear" the wife asked
THe husband said " The strangest thing just happened, you know how you told me one day I would fart my guts out......well I did"
"WHat did you do"? the wife asked keeping a straight face
"Well with quick thinking and these 2 fingers I put them back again"
what does a math mation do when he is constpated?
he works it out with a penical.
Two guys setting a bar, one said to the other. Its been a bad week my wife cut me down to 2x a week. I guess it could be worse. I know 2-guys she cut off completly.