Exercise Pointers

The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again...

- It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at 50,000 per month.

- I joined a health club last year, spent about 40,000 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

- I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

- I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

- I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

- The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

- If you are going to try cross-country running, start with a small country.

I like the last one!