A Sad Moment!

[KaciBlakely]

So I think everyone knows I'm a good person here.

I really hope you guys get a sense of that sense I've been on the forum.

Anyways this is hard for me to admit, but I am saying it because I feel comfortable and hopefully I will be able to get some support from my Ndn family.

My husband and I have decided to separate.

We have already agreed on custody rights.

I don't think he wanted to be a father and everyday I've gotten a bit bigger, I think he just realized how real it was getting.

I wish I would've loved someone else at times, but I know I'm going to be thankful for him to getting me pregnant and blessing me with my child.

It's just hard right now, so if I don't seem the happiest I will be getting better I assure you.

I'm moving in with my parents right now, and all will be well with them.

They are so supportive, but before I start crying over this thread, I'm just going to post it.

Thanks for your support in advance, you ndn family members are great.

[taylovesthebeatles]

I'm sorry to hear that, Kaci. Thank you for confiding in us, and if you need anything, we are here. You and your baby deserve the best, always remember that.

[BnLM5]

Aww! Kaci I am so sorry! Every thing is going to work out.

I assure you. It may not seem like it at times but it will.

And just like every thing else, this too shall pass.

Then something else will come along. Rest assured!

BTW, it's a little late for a person (could not bring mysef to say man)

to decide that he doesn't want to be a daddy after all.

I don't know the details (don't need to)

but I do know that he married you..... Well I

prob should just keep my opinion of him to myself. :cuss:

As my judgment would be bias and unfair.

Maybe after baby boy Blakley is born it will be better.

Keep your chin up and always smile! It does wonders for the soul! ;)

[freeringo]

He's a moron.
First, for letting one of the good people go.
Second, you being a wimp of a man
Third, for ruining his life with child support

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Why the F___ did he marry you if he didn't want a family?
What's he going to do now?
Go play the field again and get someone else pregnant.
He has to realize that the best option he has going for him is sticking it out with you and his baby.


If you still love him, have him contact me and I will talk some sense into him.

People can change and a baby will change a man like he never imagined possible.

Keep your door cracked open, he might come crawling back like a puppy dog. :willy_nilly:
If he does, tell him like it is and he has to convince you of his devotion and committment.
We will find you a good man Kaci, if all else fails.

[KaciBlakely]

I'm sorry to hear that, Kaci. Thank you for confiding in us, and if you need anything, we are here. You and your baby deserve the best, always remember that.

That's why I was okay with him walking out, if he doesn't want to be here, I don't want to force him to stay and all of us be unhappy. But hopefully he'll come grow some balls and come back.

I'm a little upset, so pardon the rudeness if you guys felt that last comment was rude.

If not I think we'll be okay with the support of everyone I have.

Is there a way to change my username though, NDN?

[KaciBlakely]

Aww! Kaci I am so sorry! Every thing is going to work out.

I assure you. It may not seem like it at times but it will.

And just like every thing else, this too shall pass.

Then something else will come along. Rest assured!

BTW, it's a little late for a person (could not bring mysef to say man)

to decide that he doesn't want to be a daddy after all.

I don't know the details (don't need to)

but I do know that he married you..... Well I

prob should just keep my opinion of him to myself. :cuss:

As my judgment would be bias and unfair.

Maybe after baby boy Blakley is born it will be better.

Keep your chin up and always smile! It does wonders for the soul! ;)

Thank you for being so kind and telling me to keep my chin up.

I'm working on it, and I've been keeping this in for a few weeks.

I figured we were just fighting and he was going to get over it and we would make up but it didn't end that way.

It still has a chance though maybe.

I'm just sad about it not lasting, and right now I don't even want my son to have that last name.

[KaciBlakely]

Does it make me a bad person for not wanting my son to have his last name at the moment?

It'd be unfair to him, but I'd tell him someday.

I just don't want him to think it was okay what he did, when he grows up.

[BnLM5]

Does it make me a bad person for not wanting my son to have his last name at the moment?

It'd be unfair to him, but I'd tell him someday.

I just don't want him to think it was okay what he did, when he grows up.

When we are hurt and angry,

we do things like lashing out

at what ever it is that has caused the pain.

It is normal not bad.

But if you would consider some good advice,

from me? I would say don't make any hasty decisions

right now. As a matter of a fact don't make any

decisions at all until you have a clear head.

These things (separation and such) always get

a lot worse before they get better. Keeping that

in mind, know that being positive is the best thing for all of you.

Especially for you and the baby. As they say kill em with kindness.

Finally the thing no body likes to hear. Give it some time...

Time heals pain.. It sucks waiting, but it is true.

Nonetheless it is said that "absence makes the heart grow fonder."

[KaciBlakely]

Right now I don't want to grow fonder of him, but I know that is the anger in me talking.

I just never expected this to happen.

Couple fight all the time, but it doesn't mean one of them just walks out for good during said fight.

At least that's my view of things.

[navuta]

Tell your husband he is the worst person in the world..
He just cant do this...
Running away from u..
this is mad, he must support you in all ways.

Please ringo call him for real and tell him the real truth about life..
This is not nice at all I think...
I hope U will be fine...If u both cant get toguether again...
:grouphug:
At least here u have a big familly!!!

[Lilred36]

I'm sorry Kaci,I hope you are alright.A child is a blessing,and you do seem like a good person as far as I can tell.He doesn't know the joy he will be missing,"99.9% of the time" and if he's not commited to the child, this is just my opion now, you and the child will be better off without him,in the long run.Stay strong keep your goals in mind and know that your parents will love and cherish that child probally more than you.If there is anything more special than a child I haven't never seen it.Good luck girl.

[freeringo]

Apply for W.I.C. now and food stamps.
Don't let him claim your new child on his income taxes.
Take care of #1 and #2 your newborn.

[KaciBlakely]

I'm sorry Kaci,I hope you are alright.A child is a blessing,and you do seem like a good person as far as I can tell.He doesn't know the joy he will be missing,"99.9% of the time" and if he's not commited to the child, this is just my opion now, you and the child will be better off without him,in the long run.Stay strong keep your goals in mind and know that your parents will love and cherish that child probally more than you.If there is anything more special than a child I haven't never seen it.Good luck girl.

Thank you very much Lilred!

I know I am blessed with this child, and hopefully he will come home and grow up.

I'm mad at him but I love him to death.

I married him after all so I can bash him a bit for doing this but not a whole lot because it may sound stupid but I still want him to come back to us.

[Pokerkitty6]

I agree with Bn...don't make any decisions yet on anything. You need time to process and besides your hormones are going crazy right now. You are going to be mentally and physically tired so save your energy for that and don't waste it on him. He is probably going crazy right now too. You both are probably having alot of the same feelings. Don't say or do anything you might regret. Put your feet up, breath in some fresh air and focus on your game tonight. Bring it like you did last night, I know that will make you feel better.
Take some time for yourself. I wish you the best with all your upcoming decisions.

[navuta]

Tell him if he dosent come back home, he will never know what is to be really loved...


And that the police state will always be behind him... he cant run away from his son.... this is not legal...
not nice...
not pretty...


This is evil:reddevil::reddevil::reddevil:......

Im sad for u....

I hope everything turns out well for u!!!!:Angel_anim:

[KaciBlakely]

Apply for W.I.C. now and food stamps.
Don't let him claim your new child on his income taxes.
Take care of #1 and #2 your newborn.

I don't think I'd qualify for WIC or Food stamps.

I have a pretty good job.

And I also have a bit pride to be getting food stamps when other people really need them.

My parents are going to help me out, my dad is an engineer at Bell Helicopter.

So my child and me will have a place to live, and be taken care of.

I just need to think about giving him more time or think about going ahead and getting ready to file for child's support.

[targetguy1]

I don't think I'd qualify for WIC or Food stamps.

I have a pretty good job.

And I also have a bit pride to be getting food stamps when other people really need them.

My parents are going to help me out, my dad is an engineer at Bell Helicopter.

So my child and me will have a place to live, and be taken care of.

I just need to think about giving him more time or think about going ahead and getting ready to file for child's support.



you would be surprised about wic. always apply for these services. they are there to help you so why not take advantage and at least apply. i understand your parents are there to help but its still best to use any reasource out there available to you instead of counting on mom and dad. i not saying that as a bad thing but you need to prove to yourself that you can make it with out there help.


my heart goes out to you and your unborn baby. nothing is more sad then a man walking out on his family and throwing the towel. i think its best it happen now rather then down the road. its not going to be any easier on the child but it best for you to try to move on without him.

a few thing that come to mind is he cheating on you? or do your suspect he is? did you see this coming or did this just come out of the blue? and last but not least.....do i still have a chance when i come back to dallas in Sept?? lol sorry had to ask

[KaciBlakely]

I don't think he was cheating.

That is definitely something I can count against, but I have set up an appointment to check everything down there to make sure against, std's, and everything like that, etc.

I don't think I'm ready to hook up with anyone at the moment.

I will be working to apply for these services if I qualify.

I realize you guys are just offering support and help and that's what I need, and I will try to take advantage of your advice.

[PANAMHIEST]

This from coming from the perspective of a guy who just had his very first

child just 8 months ago. When I heard that I would be a father I was scared,

because I knew that this little person, would look up to me the rest of my

life, to provide and take of, feed, give shelter, and to teach. I had never

done this for anyone before, just me and my dog pacho lol. It scared me to

death and I thought about running, leaving the best girl I have ever meet,

and never look back. But I did some thinking and thought about what things

would be like say 3-5 years down the road. Would kylee know about me?

Would she be a good kid? Was she ok, and well takin care of? When she got

old enought o come looking for me, would she even bother? would she love

me like she would have if I had of been there?


These are things that you husband is gonna have to think about, and if he is

too bone- headed to figure it out himself, maybe you or someone you know

can talk some sense into him.

[thenutzaa1]

sorry to hear this kaci...

i am only 23 years old so i dont know a lot about marriage or parenting but hey feel better. everything happens for a reason. thenutzaa1

[KaciBlakely]

I beleive that everything happens for a reason.

And although I will allow myself to be sad about the situation I'm not going to cry any more tears over him after a week or two.

I think it's okay for me to mourn the loss of my marriage, etc.

But only to an extent.

[freeringo]

This songs for your Dad, Kaci.

KWmETxWM0h0&feature=fvw

This one is for you Kaci

kbijjEQXWSQ&feature=related

[KaciBlakely]

This songs for your Dad, Kaci.

KWmETxWM0h0&feature=fvw

This one is for you Kaci

kbijjEQXWSQ&feature=related

I love Tori Amos so much!

Thanks for the song ringo!

They are both brilliant and I'll show the top video to my dad, when I see him later today.

I'm feeling better today than I did yesterday so that's something.

Not stressed or anything so far, so I feel like today is going to be a good day.

Can't wait to play the chips game tonight.

[GloBug]

wow what a shocker. u know i dont know to much about u and him but from what i see and hear is that he really wasnt ready. ill be honest when me and my wife had our 1st child i was just turning 24 and she was 22. it was really rough on me when it got within 1 month of having the child. i mean all my freedoms would be gone and so on. i did alot of bad things(not physical im not a monster) such as cause arguements in hopes that she would leave and all that. she never did. i was a bad person and didnt like it. well i chalk it up to not maturing when i was suppose to. but after we had our 1st child that night my wife and daughter got my full and undivided attention. i was in love all over again. the love u feel for a child when it is 1 st born is the best. im not sure if your hubby had some alterior motives but he is human and he is young from what i get. dont hate him for him wanting to separate. he will come back. he is just stressed out. im telling u i know its hard for a women but for a man that doesnt carry the baby we have alot of time to think and our minds plays tricks on us. maybe he is having doubts about being a good father. u know i did. i beleive most men at a young age have this issue. well i will put a hex on him and get him back to you. u should take advantage of any free help u can get. as for the wic and food stamps. hey food stamps comes now as a visa so u dont have to be embarressed. i suggest u have custody done thru a court whent he baby is born. as for your name u can change it send a pm to ndn and he will fix it for u. keep your head and remember u have your family and sometimes that is the best remedy. take care and be easy.

[KaciBlakely]

Well the door is still open for him.

I'm not giving up on him yet.

I love him and am just realizing that he might not be here, for our child.

Which breaks my heart, but I have to do what's best for my unborn son.

And that's to make sure both of us are taken care of.

And to figure his father out later.

I'll give him up to until my son turns 1 to make up his decision and if he's out, than he is going to be out.

I've talked to many people and they seem to think, 14 months from now is enough time for him to make up his mind.

I'm not gonna feel sorry for him, if 5 years from now, he changes his mind.

Well I don't think I will, but I'm typing this and I'm hormonal so I might change my mind.

I'm just greatful I have the support of my family and my ndn family.

[GloBug]

well lady u have the best interest in yourself and your child so thats all that counts. my mom raised me as a single mother and i think i turned out good. im not sure if things will turn out the way they are suppose to be when u have a child but i guarantee u will be better off by yoursellf then to be around someone that isnt happy. good for u. and hormones will end when u have the child. there are other things that u might have issues with but u will have a clear head. u think u and him made a good decsion because unhappiness a baby can sense. u would be amazed. keep strong girlfriend.

[nodepositneeded]

That's why I was okay with him walking out, if he doesn't want to be here, I don't want to force him to stay and all of us be unhappy. But hopefully he'll come grow some balls and come back.

I'm a little upset, so pardon the rudeness if you guys felt that last comment was rude.

If not I think we'll be okay with the support of everyone I have.

Is there a way to change my username though, NDN?

I am sorry to hear about this Kaci.

Yes it is possible to change your username. Send me a private message if you'd like to change it and I will be happy to do so.

[KaciBlakely]

Okay I will be thinking about that very hard.

I probably will though.

[eejit101]

KacilovesEejit

has a ring to tit

[KaciBlakely]

I'll do that for so many chips, lol.

But I don't think you could afford it.

It will be 200 chips.

I already have a name I am thinking about.

But thanks for the suggestion.

lmfao.

[BnLM5]

Well the door is still open for him.

I'm not giving up on him yet.

I love him and am just realizing that he might not be here, for our child.

Which breaks my heart, but I have to do what's best for my unborn son.

And that's to make sure both of us are taken care of.

And to figure his father out later.

I'll give him up to until my son turns 1 to make up his decision and if he's out, than he is going to be out.

I've talked to many people and they seem to think, 14 months from now is enough time for him to make up his mind.

I'm not gonna feel sorry for him, if 5 years from now, he changes his mind.

Well I don't think I will, but I'm typing this and I'm hormonal so I might change my mind.

I'm just greatful I have the support of my family and my ndn family.


You know Kaci a lot of things go on around here, some things are nice and some things are not. But the bottom line is that when the going gets tough for any one of us we all stick together. That is the greatest part of our NDN family. :)

[KaciBlakely]

I agree one hundred percent.

I love NDN for that particular reason.

There are so many things NoDepositNeeded has offered us here, and the last thing I expected to find at this site is the most important thing to me.

I never dreamed of finding a group of people that could be so compassionate and caring about how other people are doing.

I'm glad and truly discovered this for the first time on Kitty's bc thread.

It's great that we could all be apart of something so much bigger than this site was first meant to.

I know we get rewarded through the chip system, but I'd post with or without the system in place because I have grown to care about the members here and I think most people here have too.

[GloBug]

I agree one hundred percent.

I love NDN for that particular reason.

There are so many things NoDepositNeeded has offered us here, and the last thing I expected to find at this site is the most important thing to me.

I never dreamed of finding a group of people that could be so compassionate and caring about how other people are doing.

I'm glad and truly discovered this for the first time on Kitty's bc thread.

It's great that we could all be apart of something so much bigger than this site was first meant to.

I know we get rewarded through the chip system, but I'd post with or without the system in place because I have grown to care about the members here and I think most people here have too.


oh stop it your gonna make me cry. :grouphug:

[KaciBlakely]

oh stop it your gonna make me cry. :grouphug:

I hope it isn't sarcasm.

I really do appreciate the members here.

I'm sure you've grown to appreciate all of us too.

That's why I commented.

And thanks for all the support I have received on this thread.

It's fantastic, and it does make me feel better when I am down during the day.

[GloBug]

I hope it isn't sarcasm.

I really do appreciate the members here.

I'm sure you've grown to appreciate all of us too.

That's why I commented.

And thanks for all the support I have received on this thread.

It's fantastic, and it does make me feel better when I am down during the day.


no im serious. i agree with u about the forum. its great here. it gives u a outside look into situations that u might have. like getting a 3rd opinion from a doctor. as for this thread. you know i have mixed feelings about what happened to you. i understand both sides. its tough i know but all of it will work out in the end. so hey when are u gonna post a pic of u. i think now is a good time as any. since i think u trust us now.

[KaciBlakely]

Oh no!

Posting a pic doesn't matter if I trust anyone or not.

I just am waiting for me to give birth and you'll get to see my baby and me.

Instead of just me, and my pregnant belly.

That's what I was waiting for globug.

I don't think taking pictures now that I'm pregnant.

I look different and it feels weird, lol.

[freeringo]

Oh no!

Posting a pic doesn't matter if I trust anyone or not.

I just am waiting for me to give birth and you'll get to see my baby and me.

Instead of just me, and my pregnant belly.

That's what I was waiting for globug.

I don't think taking pictures now that I'm pregnant.

I look different and it feels weird, lol.


We want to see your glow before you lose it.
Before and after pictures is what we want.

[eejit101]

Take a picture of an interesting tree and post that too please

[KaciBlakely]

I don't have a glow.

I'm just bigger than I normally am.

I have taken family photos and will take pictures after.

Maybe, just maybe I'll do this, a bit later.

I'm thinking I will be posting it, in the next few days.

Just let me straighten my hair, put make up on, etc.

You guys will get your way.

And eejit, you are so funny.

I hope you didn't mean that in a mean way, it sounded weird.

And offhanded, and like it didn't belong in this thread, but that's just me.

[woohoosue]

kaci im so sorry to hear this...I hope things have settled down for u and youve made yourself as comfortable at home as u can.... yup making decessions pregnant is scarey cuz you are not always sure you are thinking clearly.... but to be angry and making them is doubly worse ...so take your time.... dont worry about putting him on a time table ..your heart will let you know what kind of limits he can place on you... thinking of the baby and yourself is what u need to be doing.... all the advice so far sounds real sound.... kudos to your parents for stepping up ..you got some good ones make sure they know it......
I would do just as u are doing ....let him do what he is gonna do.... you can not make anyone want you....
I'm sure it is like Glo said....he's confused ...that is no excuse ..but it is an indicator of his character... so keep this in mind when dealing with him.
He too will be getting lots of advice and let's hope that he and you too .... be as honest as you can with each other about the way you want things to be.... it sounds like this maybe hios first time being honest about how he feels ... better to know now thatn later ...and you two can find away to love and care for this baby seperately or together .... so dont let that sway you into being with him if it turns out that is not meant to be....
hey the cubs just went into first in their league today .... if they can do it there is hope for so many things...
You have to look at it this way ...you were lucky enuf to be a woman .... half your battle to happiness is taken care of .. men are a mess ....
ok stay strong!

[KaciBlakely]

kaci im so sorry to hear this...I hope things have settled down for u and youve made yourself as comfortable at home as u can.... yup making decessions pregnant is scarey cuz you are not always sure you are thinking clearly.... but to be angry and making them is doubly worse ...so take your time.... dont worry about putting him on a time table ..your heart will let you know what kind of limits he can place on you... thinking of the baby and yourself is what u need to be doing.... all the advice so far sounds real sound.... kudos to your parents for stepping up ..you got some good ones make sure they know it......
I would do just as u are doing ....let him do what he is gonna do.... you can not make anyone want you....
I'm sure it is like Glo said....he's confused ...that is no excuse ..but it is an indicator of his character... so keep this in mind when dealing with him.
He too will be getting lots of advice and let's hope that he and you too .... be as honest as you can with each other about the way you want things to be.... it sounds like this maybe hios first time being honest about how he feels ... better to know now thatn later ...and you two can find away to love and care for this baby seperately or together .... so dont let that sway you into being with him if it turns out that is not meant to be....
hey the cubs just went into first in their league today .... if they can do it there is hope for so many things...
You have to look at it this way ...you were lucky enuf to be a woman .... half your battle to happiness is taken care of .. men are a mess ....
ok stay strong!


Thanks sue!

I appreciate your kind words.

I'm at home with my parents, while I'm on maternity leave from work.

Apparently I was forced to leave the workplace by my doctor and employees so I just get online and do nothing all day long.

I love doing cross word puzzles to pass my time though.

I'm taking my time making decisions.

I believe he is going to not be in the baby's life though.

That's his choice but I won't deny him a chance to see his son.

I don't hate him that much.

And it's not fair for our son to shut his father out of his life.

At least in my opinion, I don't think it'd be fair to either one of them.

And I will be staying strong but thank you guys very much for the kind thoughts and regards.