funny bunny jokes

[doorgod2]

A man was driving along the highway when saw the Easter rabbit hopping

across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but

unfortunately the Easter bunny jumped in front of the car and was struck by

his car.

The basket of eggs and candy, the rabbit was carrying, went flying all over

the place. The driver, being a sensitive man, as well as an animal lover,

pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of

the rabbit carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colourful rabbit was

dead. The driver felt so awful, he began to cry.



A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the

road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what

was wrong. 'I feel terrible', he explained, 'I accidentally hit the Easter rabbit

and killed it. Children will be so disappointed. What should I do?'


The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to

her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the dead, limp

rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the furry animal.

Miraculously the Easter rabbit came to life, jumped up, picked up the spilled

eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the

road. 50 metres away the Easter rabbit stopped turned around, waved and

hopped down the road. 50 metres further on, he turned again, waved and

hopped another 50 metres, again he waved.

The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in

the woman's spray can. He ran over to the woman and asked, 'What is in

your spray can? What did you spray on the Easter rabbit?'

The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It

said: 'Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave.'

[doorgod2]

Fluffy and Cedric: Bunny story with a moral

¦Fluffy, the orphan bunny and Cedric the orphan snake lived in the forest;

they were, by an amazing coincidence, both blind from birth.

One morning, bright and early Fluffy was hopping through the forest when he

tripped over the body of Cedric who was basking in the sunlit undergrowth.

Fluffy landed quite hard on the prostrate body of Cedric.

'Crikey,' exclaimed Fluffy the bunny, 'I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to squash

you. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. In fact,

since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what creature I am.'


'That's OK, mate,' commented Cedric the snake. 'Actually my story is much

the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth and also never knew

my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you and work out

what you are, so at least you'll be able to find that out.'

'What a marvellous idea,' replied Fluffy the bunny.

So the Cedric slithered all over Fluffy and said, 'Well, you're covered with soft

fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches and you have a soft

cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit.'



'Oh, thank you, thank you,' cried Fluffy with tremendous pleasure. Then

Fluffy the bunny suggested to the snake, 'Perhaps I could be allowed to feel

you all over with my paw and help you the same way that you've helped me.'

So Fluffy the bunny felt Cedric the snake all over and summarised, 'Well,

you're smooth and slippery, you have a forked tongue and no backbone. I'd

say you must be either a team leader or possibly someone in senior

management.'

[doorgod2]

A Classic Rabbit Yarn

A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of beer

and a ham and cheese toastie?' The barman is amazed but gives the rabbit a

pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and

eats the toastie, he then leaves.

The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer and a

ham and cheese toastie. The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the

extra drinkers in the pub (because word gets round) gives the rabbit the pint

and the toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.

The next night, the pub is packed, in walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of

beer and a ham and cheese toastie, please barman.' The crowd is hushed as

the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie and then burst into applause

as the rabbit wolfs them down.

The next night there is standing room only in the pub, coaches have been

laid on for the crowds of patrons attending, the barman is making more

money in one week than he did all last year. In walks the rabbit and says, 'A

pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie, please barman, 'smiling and

accepting the tributes of the masses. The barman says, 'I'm sorry rabbit, old

mate, old mucker but we are right out of them ham and cheese toasties' .

The rabbit looks aghast, the crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when

the barman clears his throat nervously and says, 'We do have a very nice

Cheese and Onion Toastie.' The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, 'Are

you sure I will like it?' The masses bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.

The barman, with a roguish smile says, 'Do you think that I would let down

one of my best friends, I know you'll love it.' Ok, 'says the rabbit, 'I'll have a

pint of beer and a cheese and onion toastie'. The pub erupts with glee as the

rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie, he then waves to the crowd

and leaves.... .....

NEVER TO RETURN

»One year later in the now impoverished public house, the barman (who has

only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his) calls time. When he is

cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above

the bar. The barman says, 'Who are you?' To which he is answered, 'I am the

ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.' The barman

says, 'I remember you, you made me famous, you would come in every night

and have a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie, masses came to see

you and this place was famous.' The rabbit says, 'Yes I know.' The barman

said, 'I remember, on your last night we didn't have any ham and cheese

toasties, you had a cheese and onion one instead.' The rabbit said, 'Yes, you

promised me that I would love it' . The barman said, 'You never came back,

what happened?'I DIED' , said the rabbit.' NO!' said the barman, 'what from?'

After a short pause,the rabbit said.............................................. ........

' Mixin' -me-toasties'