BC

[Pokerkitty6]

Hi all!!! A few nights ago I told a few of you that I had something to say and I would tell you when I am ready. Well tonight I feel ready to share. I have grade 3 invasive poorly diferentiated ductal type mammory carcenoma. In other words, I have breast cancer. It's freaking me out. Within the next two weeks I will be having a radical double masectomy. Some of my words may be spelled wrong, but you get the idea. It sucks because I have beautiful 36C tits. I mean they are f'in nice. I will undergo reconstruction at the same time and I think I am going to get me some bigger tits. What do ya'll think about 36D? My husband smiles everytime I say it!!!! When I am down and out, my hubby, Tony has been instructed by me to play some of my games. Feel free to ask is that you Tony or Renee? We will be honest with you. My doctors says I should be back to playing golf 6-12 months down the road. I'll just have to learn how to regrip with bigger tits. I probably have to grip the shaft and squeze my tits together. All humor aside, this is very serious for me. I thought I would just like to share my feelings with my NDN family. This site has and will continue to be a blessing for me, especially now, to keep my mind off of things and learn from others experience. I am still working in the golf shop and have my job secured when I have recovered enough to go back to work. Until then, I'll just keep happy thoughts in my head. Cheers and I'll c-ya at the tables!!!!

[sloeddie]

only good things happen to good people wishing you well and best

[eejit101]

As your sworn so much already, i figured ill keep it up.

Holy **** that sucks.

The only thing i can say (as if i posted just saying "thats bad, im sorry for you" youd find that a bit boring) is the following.

1 - That does suck, and i do feel sorry for you.
2 - That was the funnyest acceptance of cancer post ive ever read. I love it.
3 - Go one size bigger, im all about the tits!!!
4 - Tell your husband Ill pwn him.


Im sure im about to get drowned out by serious posts from people with experience in this and "belief in God", so i wont do anything that corny.

I will say i really hope and wish your OK, if you ever need to chat to someone in a serious manner, let me know, and obviously you have your family and whatever, but you cant talk to them in the same way i figured, its just easier to open up to someone you dont know. Dunno why.

And if i knew what u looked like id comment on your boobs, but i dont, so i wont! (though im sure they are perfect;))

[taylovesthebeatles]

Everything that eejit said, I can't say it better.

Thank you for your openness, humor, and honesty. I'm not sure if I could do that in your shoes.

I really do wish you all the best.

Your poker sis,
Tay

P.S. Go 36D or DD!

[GloBug]

well i am sorry to hear that u have breast cancer my sincere thoughts are with u. i have been thru it with family members and it is painful even when being on the outside looking in. well to me it sounds like they caught it early. thats a good thing. as for your boobs 36 dd's are excellent. my wife has them but hers are real. dont know what 36dd feel when they are fake but no matter what the results your hubby is gonna see the difference and love em. i guarantee u will if u like your 36 c's. all the best of luck to u and u will definetly be in my thoughts. take care and thanks for sharing this with us. leep us updated as things happen and please post pic of your new boobs. lol

[taylovesthebeatles]

Yeah definitely post a pic! I also have real 38 DD ones, and they are excellent! You'll love them, and so will your hubby!

[Pokerkitty6]

Thank you all for your support and I'm sure I will keep you posted. I have a very positive outlook on life and make sure I smile and laugh everyday. It's a great way to enjoy every day and a little poker helps too. I love my ndn family and I'm glad we all feel we can share anything here. There is always someone to listen and always someone to respond. Take care and I'll talk to you soon.

[BnLM5]

Pokerkitty, I am so sorry, that really bites. Keeping the positive attitude that you have now is a healer in itself... I don't know how you feel about it, but I will hold you up in my prayers for both your health and for your strength, if you wish! It sounds like your husband is with you all the way and that is wonderful and a world of strength.

My opinion on Bigger Boobs you will love them :) and so will every one else you encounter. Then you will find that talking to people in person will a lot of the time be between the other person and your boobs... it's true... :)

If it is any consolation, and in hopes to calm your fears some, I know two women close in my life that have had this same cancer and both of them are cancer free and fine today. One of them is now Cancer free for four years and the other nine years. So hang in there sweetheart!

[GloBug]

Pokerkitty, I am so sorry, that really bites. Keeping the positive attitude that you have now is a healer in itself... I don't know how you feel about it, but I will hold you up in my prayers for both your health and for your strength, if you wish! It sounds like your husband is with you all the way and that is wonderful and a world of strength.

My opinion on Bigger Boobs you will love them :) and so will every one else you encounter. Then you will find that talking to people in person will a lot of the time be between the other person and your boobs... it's true... :)

If it is any consolation, and in hopes to calm your fears some, I know two women close in my life that have had this same cancer and both of them are cancer free and fine today. One of them is now Cancer free for four years and the other nine years. So hang in there sweetheart!

well u would know about big boobs from the pics ive seen. what are those double e's/ lol

[freeringo]

My thoughts and energys are on your side. Your positive approach to life will indeed elevate your ability to overcome this and heal quickly. Tits are a dime a dozen, but there is only 1 Pokerkitty. I am so proud of you and your bravery. We got your back.

[Pokerkitty6]

You all are so awesome!!!! I'm so glad I shared my story. Prayers are always good and I do appreciate them!!! You all are very good people and I'm very proud to be a member of NDN!!!1

[ROGUE63]

take care pokerkitty so glad you have the strength and character to deal with this the way you do.looking forward to lots more poker with you.

[thenutzaa1]

Sorry to hear this kitty......cancer is a hard thing to deal with!!!

prays are with you and who doesnt love big tits!!!!

[kingsnthahole]

U said 36C??? I will need a polaroid for visual verification, hahaha jk as eejit said, i'm all about the tits as well, a bonafide self proclaimed "tit-man". Go even bigger, hell get them babies 36DD!!!!
ps:sorry to hear about the cancer, be strong, and you'll make it through, GOODLUCK.

[GaTechMom]

PokerKitty sorry to hear about the cancer, but with your attitude I am sure you will do great. Get them boobs fixed and get back to the tables soon.

[Tomturkey46]

Having been down the Cancer road twice, I wish you and your family all the luck in the world on this. Take care and be back soon after the surgery.

Thomas Cherry(aka The Turkey)

[Pokerkitty6]

Your stories and inspiration are very encouraging to me. Keep it up, I'm going to need it!!!

[eejit101]

I think youll be fine even without us

[terbo71]

Hi Renee. I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am to hear about the cancer and I am hoping the best for you and your family. I also want to thank you for having the strenghth and courage it must have taken to share this with us here. It is nice to see you see you still have your humor. 36D?! Holy crap! Makes my back hurt thinking about it! Glad I am a guy, it kills me just to pack my son around the grocery store for a bit.
Best wishes Renee.

[nodepositneeded]

Please let me know if you ever need anything Pokerkitty! You know how to find me if you do.

I will keep you in my thoughts and I hope you get through this with a smile on your face.

[eejit101]

"a smile on your face..... and a huge pair of boobs!"

[Pokerkitty6]

and a smile on his face too!!!!! You guys are awesome!!!

[doorgod2]

im sorry to here that hope for the best for ya

[Pokerkitty6]

OK all, I'm ready to talk again...I decided to have a double masectomy with reconstruction. The only problem is the reconstruction will be a work in progress. They put something called an expander in to stretch me and pump me up little by little, so my muscle doesn't tear. Each week I will get a little bigger until I have reached my husband's desire. My husband went to the doctor with me a few days ago and we go in this little room where we are waiting for the dr. I go ahead and get undressed, top up, and lay on the table. My husband, Tony says, "Don't you want to wait for him before you lay down?" I figure why wait, time is money. I made sure I had on a cute little skirt so my hubby could get the whole visual! As the surgeon is dicussing the upcoming procedure he says he will draw a picture on my breast where he will make his cuts. At this time, Tony pulls out a special sharpie for the beginning of his new breasts. Can you believe he brought his own sharpie for my dr? As the dr. continues his discussion, he goes on to say he has to throw away my nipples, I say ****!!!! My husband says, Renee!!!! What other word is there? He is going to cut my ****ing nipples off!!! Torture, I tell you. He then says he will make me new ones from a skin graph. I told him to take it from my tummy and make that pretty too. By this time next year he says I can be topless and nobody will know I've ever had work done. I told him I want to look like one of the Winghouse girls. I want that little muffin that sticks out on the side of a bikini top and I want to have a little bounce when I walk. I have clevage now, but a little bounce would be nice too. The dr. said some of those girls are his clients too. I'm still going big. Tony is not allowed to watch the work in progress, he only gets to see the final product. I had a hystorectomy a couple of years ago and I said I got gutted. Now, they are going to filet my tits like a piece of meat. All joking aside, this is very serious for me and writing to you all will make it a little easier. I try to keep a sense of humor and a smile on my face every single day!!! Till my next blog...c-ya at the tables.

[freeringo]

Brilliant doctor sounds like.
What will they think up next?
Can you get your nipple with extra sensitivity?

Glad to her you and your husband have something to look up too.
swing

[BnLM5]

Pokerkitty I have to say this for the record, you have one hell of a great attitude. I think that is wonderful. Nonetheless attitude is the number one healer. Keep your head up and keep thinking positive. What a wonderful and supportive husband you have. I don't know why I have tears in my eyes, if it is because I know you are going through tuff times or that you are so strong with spirit, maybe both. I will keep you in my thoughts and in my prayers. You keep smiling! You have NDN friends for life. :)

[taylovesthebeatles]

Thank you for the update, Pokerkitty. I will agree with Lori, you are one brave lady! A hysterectomy already, wow. I've heard that's a lot to go through on its own. I wish you all the best in your reconstruction and recovery, and you are daily in my thoughts and prayers. NDN family is forever, and I'm proud to call you my Poker Sister. Love ya hun!

Be sure to post those pics of the new titties when they're all nice and perky!

[Pokerkitty6]

Thanks for the support sister tay and yes all of us are part of the disfuctional NDN family!

[navuta]

sorry.. I posted on the wrong place.!

[nodepositneeded]

Thank you for keeping us updated!

We will have some Pokerkitty Poker in the near future!

[navuta]

Hey..
I hope everythings runs well with your surgery recontruction.
I alos that your will be very happy with your new apearence..
ALL THE BEST>
Positive thinking.!
:)

[Pokerkitty6]

It's funny when you get cancer everyone gets closer...One night last week, my brother, Kelly and his wife Dianna asked if they could come over and cook me a steak dinner. Thats something that has never happened before. My neices, Dainna and Karen showed up too, with a couple of their friends. The other night my 30 year brother, Nick, called and asked if him and his wife, Becky, could spend the night. When was the last time one of your brothers or sisters called and asked if they spend the night, just for the hell of it? That night we had a shot and prayer party!!!! Do a shot and say a prayer! This Friday, my sister Ronnie wants to come spend the night with her to daughters, Cheyenne and Savannah. My Dad is calling to do lunch or dinner out. My family loves me this week! HaHa!

[Pokerkitty6]

Hi all!!! Looks like my surgery date is scheduled. I will be sliced and diced next Tuesday, July 7th. It's hard to believe, I was diagnosed with breat cancer on June 9th and they are cutting it out of me on July 7th. Thats really fast. Still does not feel like it's real and I don't feel like I have cancer. Oh well, cancer kills and grows like weeds, best to get it cut out asap.

[nodepositneeded]

I hope everything goes well and you recover quickly!

Please let us know when you are ready for some poker and we will have a celebratory poker tournament after the 7th!

[twenty47]

All my best to you and your family from myself and mine. I wish you a fast recovery, that's probably going to be the crappiest part of all of this. I also had a hystorectomy last year and for the first month i didn't want to move.... very painful at first and then stayed uncomfortable forever. Take care, don't rush the recovery and just keep your spirits up.... cya soon and good luck!

[terbo71]

It's funny when you get cancer everyone gets closer...One night last week, my brother, Kelly and his wife Dianna asked if they could come over and cook me a steak dinner. Thats something that has never happened before. My neices, Dainna and Karen showed up too, with a couple of their friends. The other night my 30 year brother, Nick, called and asked if him and his wife, Becky, could spend the night. When was the last time one of your brothers or sisters called and asked if they spend the night, just for the hell of it? That night we had a shot and prayer party!!!! Do a shot and say a prayer! This Friday, my sister Ronnie wants to come spend the night with her to daughters, Cheyenne and Savannah. My Dad is calling to do lunch or dinner out. My family loves me this week! HaHa!

It is sad that sometimes it takes something like this to make people reallize how much one person really means to them and how much they really just enjoy having them around, and the thought of maybe losing that one person can bring them closer than they may have never been. My thoughts are with you, and I am sure everyone here will be thinking of you on the 7th. Enjoy the family. The shots and prayers sound like they could cure many things. Best wishes Renee, to you and your family.

[GloBug]

It's funny when you get cancer everyone gets closer...One night last week, my brother, Kelly and his wife Dianna asked if they could come over and cook me a steak dinner. Thats something that has never happened before. My neices, Dainna and Karen showed up too, with a couple of their friends. The other night my 30 year brother, Nick, called and asked if him and his wife, Becky, could spend the night. When was the last time one of your brothers or sisters called and asked if they spend the night, just for the hell of it? That night we had a shot and prayer party!!!! Do a shot and say a prayer! This Friday, my sister Ronnie wants to come spend the night with her to daughters, Cheyenne and Savannah. My Dad is calling to do lunch or dinner out. My family loves me this week! HaHa!

well liike what terbo said it takes a almost tragedy to get people to remember whats moist important. family is number 1. well i am glad that thay caught it quick enough to get u in and have surgery. my family hasnt been so lucky so when i see a good storie i get happy for them. well all the best to u and let us know how things go. stay strong sista kitty because i just got 2 cute kitties yesterday. lol

[Pokerkitty6]

Each day I get closer to my surgery date...reality sets in. It's gonna suck and you will see me online alot more. Thank God for my laptop. I'll be laid up for a while. I bet your kitties will play poker with you!!! Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, and comments. They mean the world to me. I know you are good people and very sincere.

[BnLM5]

PokerKitty There is no better time to be close with your family and friends as is the present! Every thing is going to be just fine. Take a deep breath and believe it. Thoughts and prayers are with you. :) And I'm glad you'll be around a lot.

[Pokerkitty6]

Thanks B, you're the best!

[Pokerkitty6]

ok....Surgery is on Tuesday. No more drinking for me. It will be a while until I feel like having a party. I had a good time last night!!!! Live it up while you can, cause ya just never know!

[BnLM5]

Pokerkitty, I was just thinking about you and your surgery on Tuesday a little while ago. Talked to my husband about it. This is all going to be over before you know it. It will take some time to recover as with any surgery and maybe some time to get used to. You will prob go through a few different emotions about it before it's finished, but nothing out of the ordinary for what you are going through. And I know you are going through it. Just don't forget it will be finished. Chin up, positive attitude, some rest, lots of NDN, maybe even get babied a bit. ;) I am with ya, my prayers are with ya and you know where to find me. Every one here is with ya obviously. So hang in there baby..... and as soon as you feel up to it, get back here. Thank God for all things especially lap tops! :smile:

Lots of Love,
Lori

[Pokerkitty6]

Thank you soooo much Lori and yes thank God for laptops!!!! I'm ready to get it done and over with!

[Pokerkitty6]

Well people, this time tomorrow I will be coming out of surgery. The general surgeon will be working on me for two hours and the plastic surgeon will working on me for 3 hours. It's going to be hell. I will wake up with two little bumps where two big mounds used to be. It's going to be strange. I will have to wear two drains, under my boobs that look like grenades. Once they stop draining then I go in and have them removed. Some women it takes one week, some women it takes over a month. I hope I'm one of the lucky ones. Lymth nodes (spelled wrong I'm sure) will be removed from the right side only, not the left. For the rest of my life I have to have all blood work and blood pressure taken from my left arm because if they do it on the right my arm will swell up too much. For the rest of my life when I fly, I have to use air compression sleeves to keep my arms from swelling up. Sound like a ton of fun. My surgery is at 1:30 tomorrow. I have been having terrible allergies all day today. My nose feels like its going to fall off. I hope that doesn't hurt anything for tomorrow. I'm looking forward to getting it done and over with. My last day of work was Thursday and my co-workers and members threw me a party. Everyone wore pink. One of the men showed up entirely in pink, even his shoe laces. They had beautiful pink cakes and strawberry cakes. The lemonade was pink. Pink flowers all over the courtyard. They gave me a breast cancer awareness cap and everyone had already signed it. There must have been at least 60 people there. They gave me six weeks off work and I may have more if needed. Candler Hill Golf Club in Ocala, FL is full of great communities who take care of their own. They took me under their wing. Awesome people!!! By New Years Eve, I should be put back together...I should be skinnier, have new hair and big new boobs. Can't wait for 2010 and I can't wait to kiss 2008 and 2009 out of my life. I've had two rough years and very much looking forward to the future. I do have a myspace page and a facebook page for anyone who is interested. My name as you know is Pokerkitty6 and my email is Pokerkitty6@cox.net. For myspace you have to use my old email poswell@tampabay.rr.com. I should be online alot in the next six weeks. Take care and I'll talk to ya'll soon. Don't forget to say a prayer for me tonight.

[GloBug]

well good luck to you. u will be in all of our thoughts. hear kitty roar. keeps us updated. man i really like what your peeps did for u. getting lymph nodes removed is no fun as my mother in law had that done. lots of swelling but u will be alright. good luck. we will miss ya.

[taylovesthebeatles]

I love you Pokerkitty, and you'll be in my prayers all day tomorrow and beyond! You'll make it through I know, you have an amazing support system! I went through an 11 hour surgery when I was four years old so I know long surgeries can be scary and daunting. Just pray and trust in the Lord. I'll add you to my Facebook right now, you should get a request soon. Much love to you!

[Pokerkitty6]

I love you tooo Tay!!! You too Glo...all of you. My Dad says, "He died for you, now you have to live for Him" I thought that was pretty cool. I'm new on facebook so bear with me. If I knew how to put a picture of myself on NDN I would have already. I'll have lots of time to learn this within the next six weeks.

[BnLM5]

Wow Pokerkitty now that is what I call a job. A party like that, how touching and what a great group of people to work with. They must love you like us here at NDN. :) And your husband and your friends.... This just goes to show you what kind of person that you are as you are surrounded by lots of love and good people. My prayers have been said and I will say some more. Just get back here already, will ya. Deep breath and big smile... every thing is gonna be OKay. :)

[Lilred36]

Well that explains the meds we were discussing.Sweetheart I am so sorry, and my prayers will be with you.I sure hope that all is well and you get to feeling better soon.You will be in my thoughts and I hope to get to play with you at the tables soon.Oops that sounded bad, oh well it will just have to.KITTY we all love you here and hope you get rid of that cancer and become fully well again.I want to say MEOOW alot in the future so get better soon! MEOOWWWWWW

[Pokerkitty6]

B & Lil thank u so much!!! I going in at 10 so I will be logging off soon. You can still say MEOWWW everynow and then if you get a kick *** hand. I love you guys and I'll talk to as soon as my fingers start working again. I will be slow to start out and a little wacked in the head. Have fun at the tables and I hope you win alot.

[freeringo]

PokerKitty Pokerkitty
Hip Hip Hooray
Hip Hip Hooray
Hip Hip Hooray

Time to grab life by the balls and show em what you are really made of. True Grit

[ROGUE63]

good luck and god bless you pokerkitty my thoughts and prayers are with you today

[nodepositneeded]

I hope things went smoothly yesterday Pokerkitty and I hope you are getting some rest!

Get well soon!!!

[BnLM5]

I am bumping this thread as I am waiting patiently for you pokerkitty. I am sure everything went well just hoping the recovery process will be quick. I have been praying for you as many others have as well. We can't wait to hear from you!

[Pokerkitty6]

Hi all!!! I'm home now. I only had to stay overnight. If you can imagine what it woud feel like having your tits cut off...thats exactly what it feels like. I have never experienced so much pain in all my life. This was worst than my hystorectomy. The drains are driving me crazy! Maybe another week of dealing with them. The Lortab painkillers completely knock me out. I ended up having stage 2, grade 3 cancer. They removed 11 lymph nodes-all negative. To top it all off, a cap on one of my teeth feel off and I ended up at the dentist at 8am this morning. I meet with my oncologist on Sunday at 6:45am to see if my cancer has spread and to learn the plan of attack. I've never heard of a Dr. working on Sun. much less at 6:45am. I'm looking forward to this visit. I need to know. My beautiful breasts are gone, but the new set seems to be forming nicely. I'll stay in touch. Thank you all for your support, prayers, and humor along the way. It means the world to me. I'll see you at the game tonight.

[freeringo]

Welcome Home

PokerKitty

[woohoosue]

ok i don't know how i missed this thread ..ive been lax on posting and maybe that is it.... not sure .... but girl ..... gg on handling this as you have .....this is probably the worst part of it that u are going through ...hope some of the pain is clearing for you by now... keep hanging in there... you have shown such strength dealing with this ...i hope my absence in posting has not caused you to think i don't care ... i so do ..... so many years ago I helped my mother in law through hers ... having another with you at doctor appointments is so crutial ... it allows you to just feel and deal with it without also having to deal with remembering all the instructions and details too.

I liked your positive attitrude with going for the extra size ...pump it up baby ..always good ..why settle when its there for the asking ...

i dont know how long it took me to read this whole thread . stoppping to reread to laugh and to cry.. hugs and kissess

i too want to say kudos to Tony .. not sure if i played against him at all? for I hadnt heard of this till now and always just assumed it was you no worse for wear sitting across from me on the table ..hope i never said anything to make you feel uncared for during these past weeks

as for family drawing near ..don't be too hard on them ...loooking back I'm sure you too can recall indifference dealing with their lives too...we are all so busy and life seems to take its toll on our free time... Reading of your families visits warmed my heart as it also painfully brought up my estrangement to my father.... the rallying of your employers and coworkers was a great story also ..... please let others help when they ask ...it really does help them as much as it will help you.

well ok I guess that is it...I look forward to hearing about your recovery.. I too send best wishes for a safe, continued successfull, painlessening path to your complete recovery.

again except my apologies for missing this

[GloBug]

well glad to see u made it out of surgery. hey the pain will subside the cap will be replaced and the boobs will be bigger and better. but your healthy again and thats all that counts. im happy for u and your family kitty. here kitty roar.

[targetguy1]

glad to see you made it home. keep being as strong as you have been. fake

boobs are so much better anyways. just think when you 70 they wont sag

like everyone else at that age. keep up the fight

[BnLM5]

Pokerkitty I am so glad to hear from you. Take it easy! My prayers are still lifted. Thank God for painkillers, that's for sure. Your post is a very good sign of recovery, YaY!

[Pokerkitty6]

Thanks again everybody. Please be assured if Tony ever does play in my place he will let you know straight up. Besides, what man would like to be called Pokerkitty6? I'm sure he will sit in for me one day, but he will let you know for sure. Thanks again all and good nite.

[doorgod2]

welcome back kitty

lets play poker:):)

[taylovesthebeatles]

It's so good to hear from you! I've been praying for you and thinking of you all week. Hang in there sis, and continue to keep us updated on your progress! Much love.

[nodepositneeded]

Welcome "home" Pokerkitty!

Eejit101 said you guys had a blast in the game yesterday and I was bummed I missed it.

Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you!

[freeringo]

Welcome "home" Pokerkitty!

Eejit101 said you guys had a blast in the game yesterday and I was bummed I missed it.

Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you!


We did have a blast.
We all were as dopey as Pokerkitty must have been on her medications.
There were moments of hysteria.:D

[PANAMHIEST]

im sorry to hear about the cancer. i wish you the best!

[Pokerkitty6]

My arms and my chest hurt like really crazy!!! I'll just have to keep taking my meds and playing poker to keep my mind off things! Ya'll have been great. Thanks again everybody!

[Pokerkitty6]

ok...so I'm a little confused, I wonder why...my oncologist appt.is next Sunday, not this Sunday. I got up at 5:30am for nothing. Well a least I got the paper work out of the way. I'm anxious to have a pet scan. I'm not real good on waiting for answers. I just need to know if the cancer has spread. Well, next appt. is Tue. with the plastic doctor. He can't start "pumping" me up for at lease another week. I'm too sore and tender. I have too many dr's and too many appointments right now. Can't wait for all of this to be over with. C-ya at the tables soon.

[nodepositneeded]

Get some rest and NEVER wake up at 5:30 on a Sunday!

[Pokerkitty6]

When you're in the golf business, you're at work before the sun comes up. It's really beautiful to watch the sunrise on a golf course, especially if you're the first one to tee off. Went to the dr. today and one of my drains came out today. Yey!!! Maybe I can actually sleep on left side tonight. I saw my surgeon yesterday and asked him for some more pain pills, he only gave me 15 a week ago today. He said no, they make you constapated. i asked him for some sleeping pills because I'm not a back sleeper, he said no they are too addicting. I said my god, you cut my boobs completely off I'm gonna need something. He told me to take tylenol and tylenol pm. I said ok, but at home I told my husband the man is crazy, I'm going to be in pain. So, today I see the plastic surgeon and asked him for some pain pills so I can sleep and not be in pain. He said, thats the least we could do, after all we cut your breasts off and you're going to need more when we start "enhancing" you. I dealing with three different drs right now, kinda hard to keep them all straight. I'm also using NDN as my blog on my breast cancer so I can keep my friends updated. I've told a few people to log on here so they can keep up with my status. Hope you all don't mind this and if you don't want to read, then skip it, but 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime, so actually this can be used as a learning tool for alot of people. Men and women alike. This is brand new to me and my husband, but we have come a long way in one month. It still feels like a bad dream. Thank you all for letting me ramble on about this, it really helps me.

[Pokerkitty6]

Yesterday was a blah day. I looked at boobs and actually started crying. Trust me, I'm a very strong person, not a crybaby, so it shocked me. I know this is temporary, but it hurts to look. There is no way I'm letting my husband see this image. I want him to remember my sexy boobs and hopefully the new ones will turn him on even more. Today I feel a little more upbeat. My hubby said he would take me to the track today to cheer me up, but I can't because I have to stay away from germs for a while. Maybe I'll send him over to place some bets for me. Sometimes I get lucky when I do that. I know today will be a better day, its my brother's birthday, his name is Nick. I will always call him Nicky and he is 31. Have a great day and I'll c-ya at the tables.

[freeringo]

Yesterday was a blah day. I looked at boobs and actually started crying. Trust me, I'm a very strong person, not a crybaby, so it shocked me. I know this is temporary, but it hurts to look. There is no way I'm letting my husband see this image. I want him to remember my sexy boobs and hopefully the new ones will turn him on even more. Today I feel a little more upbeat. My hubby said he would take me to the track today to cheer me up, but I can't because I have to stay away from germs for a while. Maybe I'll send him over to place some bets for me. Sometimes I get lucky when I do that. I know today will be a better day, its my brother's birthday, his name is Nick. I will always call him Nicky and he is 31. Have a great day and I'll c-ya at the tables.


Kitty, it's called post traumatic stress syndrome.
You have to expect that for a while.
Crying is very important to your overall emotional balance.
Just don't let depression take over.

That's what we are here for, to help make sure that doesn't happen.
Allow us to cheer you up when ever you need it.
We love you.
NO FEAR

[taylovesthebeatles]

Thanks for the update, Pokerkitty. I'm so sorry this is so hard on you, but I am sure you are not the only one who has felt this way. Stay strong, and remember that it's more than okay to cry if you need to. Any of us here will be more than happy to be a shoulder to cry on for you whenever you need it. I am sending you my love and prayers every day!

[BnLM5]

Yesterday was a blah day. I looked at boobs and actually started crying. Trust me, I'm a very strong person, not a crybaby, so it shocked me. I know this is temporary, but it hurts to look. There is no way I'm letting my husband see this image. I want him to remember my sexy boobs and hopefully the new ones will turn him on even more. Today I feel a little more upbeat. My hubby said he would take me to the track today to cheer me up, but I can't because I have to stay away from germs for a while. Maybe I'll send him over to place some bets for me. Sometimes I get lucky when I do that. I know today will be a better day, its my brother's birthday, his name is Nick. I will always call him Nicky and he is 31. Have a great day and I'll c-ya at the tables.

Pokerkitty I know this have been incredibly rough on you and my heart feels it for you. I don't care how strong or how tough we are the fact remains and is sometimes unfortunate that we are still human. This all happened so fast and we are never prepared for it. It's ok to cry and be afraid it really is God know I cry well God and everybody know that I cry so if you chose not to I will cry for you. And if you decide that it's ok I will cry with you. I so admire your strength. It is refreshing! I hope today was better than yesterday and I hope tomorrow will be better than today. Hang in there baby! You got her whoped. Thoughts and prayers are with you. Can you feel it?

With Love
Lori

[nodepositneeded]

Give me a shout if you need anything Pokerkitty!

I couldn't imagine how difficult things can be, but stay strong and get through this!

We are all fortunate that we're getting to spend some extra time with you here on NDN and that you're opening up and coming out of that shell!

[slicky111]

Yeah, I see why u r stressed out. Just play more poker and maybe that will keep your mind elsewhere.

Yeah, I'm with hubby, 36D sounds nic to me also :cool:

[Pokerkitty6]

I was in sooo much pain last night, more than any night so far. I don't know if it is the swelling going down or if I just did too much. I loaded the dishwasher and did laundry and now I hurt like hell. My pain pills are helping a little bit. I wanted to take another one, but I didn't cause it says every 6 hours. My doctor told me not to do any house work. Well, I figured that was over a week ago, it would be ok now. NOT!! Today, I just feel really tender. I'll get an update soon. I see three different doctors, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, I'm way too young to be seeing this many doctors. Enough about breast cancer for now. c-ya at the tables.

[woohoosue]

awww girl ..im so sad you are having such a hard time of this...hope things lighten up soon ....hey that is exactly what you did... dont do anything...i dont care how messy things get ....someone will get to them when they can and if not so be it...... please take it easy ...the trauma is enuf dont add to the pain by doing too much..... painless days are coming ..hang in there

[BnLM5]

Pokerkitty if the doctor say's not to do any house work, why are you doing housework? Why not take it easy so the healing process can take place? Now you need to just take it easy no matter how much you don't want to. You better be glad I am not there. I am the kind of nurse that makes you do what your supposed to. But I am not mean. However you need to listen because the doctor it telling you what is best. And we want the best. Okee Dokee!

I'm so sorry for the pain! That sucks! I have said a special prayer for the pain now.

[taylovesthebeatles]

I've been through many surgeries where I feel pretty good for a few days afterward, and then all of a sudden I feel much worse one day. It definitely does happen, but I am still very sorry. Do listen to your doctor for sure, I know you really want to be as independent as you were before and keep your life as normal as possible, but you'll thank yourself for rest later. Just keep taking your pain pills and take it easy! You'll want your energy for after you get your new tits and they're all ready to be enjoyed!

[Pokerkitty6]

Hi everybody. I just want you to know I am not writing this to make you feel sorry for me or to make it seem I can't handle this. There are days I have a hard time with this, but that is to be expected. I am handling this way better than most women from what I hear. I am one of the strongest females you will ever meet. This bc thread is mainly for me to express myself instead of holding everything in. It is a stress release for me. I know alot of you will get tired of reading this and others will learn more about breast cancer. Like I said before 1 in 8 women will develop breast cancer. We are all gamblers here and we know odds, so chances are, you know or will know someone with breast cancer in your life time. I just back from seeing my ongologist for the first time this morning. She is a sweet lady who works early on Sunday mornings. Never, ever heard of a doctor working Sunday mornings. Anyways...my cancer is basal triple negative, very aggressive. I have to have 6 months of chemo, the aggresive form. I will loose all of my hair from the very 1st treatment. For 6 months, I will have no hair and loose alot of weight. I started crying when I heard the word agressive. With this type of chemo, I will get sick and have a hard time with my appetite. I am scheduled back at work on August 16, I will probably go back. My members at the golf club have been extremely supportative, as well as many of you, for that I say thank you. I feel comfortable enough where I can go around them even if I am bald. I said at the beginning I'm going to be bald, boobless, and skinny. At the end of this, I'm going to have a new head of hair, a new set of huge tits, and more passion for life than I've ever had. Look out world here I come!!! My husband is giving money for my new wigs next week. I already have a cute short red headed one with soft gold highlights. I bought a doo-rag with the flap that hangs down in the back that is filled with eagles and "feel the wind" on it, my biker look. I'm going back this week to buy the Miami Hurricanes do-rag in a couple of days. I already have one for the Miami Dolphins. I told my husband, I need to go to the dollar store and buy a bunch of little waste baskets and put about ten grocery store plastic bags in them for when I puke, it makes for easy clean up that way. I do that for my bathrooms already. I'll want a basket in every room for sure. He said he is going to buy my 1st "puke basket" of the Miami Dolphins. I told him no way am I going to puke in a Miami Dolphins basket. He handled the news well this morning and wanted to know what color wig, I'm getting. I told him all, blonde, burnette, and red head. My friend at work said he is getting me a hot pink one. I don't think my husband will go for that one. I will process this information today and look forward to seeing you at our chip game. c-ya soon...

[targetguy1]

Hi everybody. I just want you to know I am not writing this to make you feel sorry for me or to make it seem I can't handle this. There are days I have a hard time with this, but that is to be expected. I am handling this way better than most women from what I hear. I am one of the strongest females you will ever meet. This bc thread is mainly for me to express myself instead of holding everything in. It is a stress release for me. I know alot of you will get tired of reading this and others will learn more about breast cancer. Like I said before 1 in 8 women will develop breast cancer. We are all gamblers here and we know odds, so chances are, you know or will know someone with breast cancer in your life time. I just back from seeing my ongologist for the first time this morning. She is a sweet lady who works early on Sunday mornings. Never, ever heard of a doctor working Sunday mornings. Anyways...my cancer is basal triple negative, very aggressive. I have to have 6 months of chemo, the aggresive form. I will loose all of my hair from the very 1st treatment. For 6 months, I will have no hair and loose alot of weight. I started crying when I heard the word agressive. With this type of chemo, I will get sick and have a hard time with my appetite. I am scheduled back at work on August 16, I will probably go back. My members at the golf club have been extremely supportative, as well as many of you, for that I say thank you. I feel comfortable enough where I can go around them even if I am bald. I said at the beginning I'm going to be bald, boobless, and skinny. At the end of this, I'm going to have a new head of hair, a new set of huge tits, and more passion for life than I've ever had. Look out world here I come!!! My husband is giving money for my new wigs next week. I already have a cute short red headed one with soft gold highlights. I bought a doo-rag with the flap that hangs down in the back that is filled with eagles and "feel the wind" on it, my biker look. I'm going back this week to buy the Miami Hurricanes do-rag in a couple of days. I already have one for the Miami Dolphins. I told my husband, I need to go to the dollar store and buy a bunch of little waste baskets and put about ten grocery store plastic bags in them for when I puke, it makes for easy clean up that way. I do that for my bathrooms already. I'll want a basket in every room for sure. He said he is going to buy my 1st "puke basket" of the Miami Dolphins. I told him no way am I going to puke in a Miami Dolphins basket. He handled the news well this morning and wanted to know what color wig, I'm getting. I told him all, blonde, burnette, and red head. My friend at work said he is getting me a hot pink one. I don't think my husband will go for that one. I will process this information today and look forward to seeing you at our chip game. c-ya soon...

kitty you are a very strong women and i know the men here wich they were

half as strong as you are. yes the next 6 months will be difficult and very

hard on you and you family but like you said your very strong women and

with that being said you already have the advantage then most women who

go through this. just stay strong and for once in your life butyourself first

and everyone else behind yourself.

[taylovesthebeatles]

Thanks again for the update, Kitty! Well if you're going to get wigs I say that's the way to do it- give your husband the experience of lots of different women! Stay strong for us, we'll all stay strong for you. Can you puke in an OU Sooners can for me?

[BnLM5]

Well damn it Pokerkitty, that sucks so bad. I was hoping you wouldn't have to go through all crap. As You were I am sure. You are def a very strong woman that's a fact. But don't forget what I said about crying. This too shall all come pass. It will be tough but you will get through it. You will have bad days and you will have good days, but no matter the days You have all of us to listen. I am with you in heart and you will continuously be in my thoughts and prayers. Just hang in there baby!

[Pokerkitty6]

Hi all. I saw my oncologist yesterday and my general surgeon today. Looks like I have something called triple negative basal type breast cancer, stage 2 grade 3. This means I have to have 6 months of chemo and I will loose my hair with the first treatment. Wow, I will be bald for over 6 months. I have my very first PET scan on Friday, never had one before, but they say its ok to drive afterward. I'm not sure about driving after chemo, haven't got that far yet. Next Tuesday, I have to have another surgery to put my port in. The port will make my chemo easier on me because me veins are so small. I have to see my plastic surgeon tomorrow. My sister laughed at the "puke cans" I want to put around the house and she just happens to be in Oklahoma visiting, so she is going to send me one. I think I'm gonna need a FSU can too. Oh well, I've had enough of cancer for one day, so I'll c-ya at the tables.

[freeringo]

:grouphug:Time to get ready for a fight.

We are praying for you and we are here for you.:Angel_anim:

[BnLM5]

Pokerkitty I was reading the newspaper today.

And an article about a breast cancer fund raiser

caught my eye. It is being held in Colusa a little

town about 30 miles west from where I live.

Any way I thought of you as I have been a lot

lately. I wanted to share this with you because

I thought what they were calling it was way cool.

So I thought you might appreciate it......

"Bowling for Boobs" Lol What a great idea!

Isn't that something? I always stop for breast cancer

fund raisers. I think it is a great way to help.

Hope you are feeling better today!

[taylovesthebeatles]

Pokerkitty- here are lyrics to a song by one of our favorite bands that has had me thinking of you lately. I hope it can help you get through these times a little easier. I'll also post a link to a video so you can hear what it sounds like.

It's called "Pink" and it's by a group called Carbon Leaf.

So, she catches herself
When she looks down, or too far away
She knows the pain in her side
Is just a mirage and mirages will fade

And so it begins, the mirage settles in
But the sky is light pink before violet
Cause everything's now, everything's now
She notices everything

As she puts on the pink
Her world turns to pink

So, she shows all her teeth when
She's taking the photos, she knows she has friends
She wants colors like these to
Remind her of being a young girl again

She quietly pleads, God just remove
Everything that the doctors don't see
Cause everything's now, everything's now
Please remove everything that's not me

And she puts on the pink
Her world turns to pink

She puts on the pink
Her world turns to pink

She puts on the pink(7x)
She puts on the pink...

YouTube - Carbon Leaf- Pink (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PcCsE5zYXk&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Flyrics%2Eurl%2Ecom%2Fshow%2F4134 %2Fcarbon%2Dleaf%2Fpink&feature=player_embedded)

[Pokerkitty6]

B bowling for boobs is a great idea!!! Tay that song is beautiful and made me cry. The words went straight to my heart. Some of them I have said lately. It's very powerful...

[Pokerkitty6]

I got my other drain removed today, yay! After that, I went to have a PET scan. I have never had one before. If you have ever had melanoma before, you have to tell them because they have to take deeper images. I also learned you should not hold an infant of toddler for about 20 minutes after your scan because the radiation from you could affect their tyroid. Never heard that before. Oh well, live and learn. I can see how people freak out getting PET scan's because you are sliding back and forth in a big tube, after they inject you with purple dye. In the situations, I just take little cat naps. That seems to work best for me. After I got home today, I got the worst headace. I wonder if it is from the dye. Surgery for my port is still scheduled for Tue. I tell ya breast cancer is a pain in the ***!! No doubt about it. Not only for me, but for Tony too!! I saw on tv today hot dog warnings and cancer. I have been told some of the top cancer causing foods are hot dogs, bacon, sausage, and french fries. There is so much to learn and I bet whoever is reading this learned something about PET scans today. I know I did. C-ya at the tables.

[freeringo]

I got my other drain removed today, yay! After that, I went to have a PET scan. I have never had one before. If you have ever had melanoma before, you have to tell them because they have to take deeper images. I also learned you should not hold an infant of toddler for about 20 minutes after your scan because the radiation from you could affect their tyroid. Never heard that before. Oh well, live and learn. I can see how people freak out getting PET scan's because you are sliding back and forth in a big tube, after they inject you with purple dye. In the situations, I just take little cat naps. That seems to work best for me. After I got home today, I got the worst headace. I wonder if it is from the dye. Surgery for my port is still scheduled for Tue. I tell ya breast cancer is a pain in the ***!! No doubt about it. Not only for me, but for Tony too!! I saw on tv today hot dog warnings and cancer. I have been told some of the top cancer causing foods are hot dogs, bacon, sausage, and french fries. There is so much to learn and I bet whoever is reading this learned something about PET scans today. I know I did. C-ya at the tables.
Take 1 day at a time Kitty
Before you know it we will be singing Christmas Carols.
Joy to World

[targetguy1]

I got my other drain removed today, yay! After that, I went to have a PET scan. I have never had one before. If you have ever had melanoma before, you have to tell them because they have to take deeper images. I also learned you should not hold an infant of toddler for about 20 minutes after your scan because the radiation from you could affect their tyroid. Never heard that before. Oh well, live and learn. I can see how people freak out getting PET scan's because you are sliding back and forth in a big tube, after they inject you with purple dye. In the situations, I just take little cat naps. That seems to work best for me. After I got home today, I got the worst headace. I wonder if it is from the dye. Surgery for my port is still scheduled for Tue. I tell ya breast cancer is a pain in the ***!! No doubt about it. Not only for me, but for Tony too!! I saw on tv today hot dog warnings and cancer. I have been told some of the top cancer causing foods are hot dogs, bacon, sausage, and french fries. There is so much to learn and I bet whoever is reading this learned something about PET scans today. I know I did. C-ya at the tables.


note to self dont eat any thing that comes from pig thanks.

[BnLM5]

Unfortunately Kitty there are carcinogens in just about everything that is around us. From the very foods we eat to the air we breath even the sun we live under. There is really no way they can be avoided. You will learn alot of more things about cancer now that it has you full attention.

I am sorry you have a head ache today. It is prob a combo of a few things. The anticipation of what is to come, the dye, a long day, worry. I will remind you that there is nothing you can change by worry. The only thing that worry and stress is going to do is make you sick. I know it is easier said than done but it is sooooo important. It is so important for you to stay as healthy as you can both in mind and body. I know you are worried about Tony and him having to much, but he is tough and It's obvious he is with you for the duration. So let him be there for you.

You are in my thoughts and prayers more than you know.

Much Love,
Lori

[woohoosue]

Hang in there girl we do not feel sorry for u..... we would like you to feel better... most of us can only imagine what u are going through. I know to u progress is slow... you are there with it all day ... Please keep the faith ... stay strong ... eat well ... try not to worry so much .... you will lick this thing.....
hug!

[Pokerkitty6]

I got my PET scan results back today and everything looks good. That part makes me feel better, but next week they are giving me a BCRA test to find out where cancer may pop up in my body next to help prevent. Alot of these cancers are carried from generation to generation, so I think everybody should have this test done. Its easier to try to prevent cancer, than to try to get rid of once you have it. I'm going in for surgery at 5am in the morning to insert my port for chemo. I won't have to stay overnight, just until I get my "bearings" together. My first chemo will be about a week after that. Anybody here ever have chemo? What am I in for? Can I drive ok afterwards? Like I said earlier, this is a learning experience for all of us. C-ya in a few minutes. Thanks for listening.

[BnLM5]

Pokerkitty, I have been doing some reading to see what I can come up with for you. I will keep reading on it and I will let you know if I find something I think you may be interested in or something that may be of help.

I have never had to go through chemo but have been with people who have and everyone reacts differently to it. Some feel ok and some don't. My friend Lana actually had an allergic reaction to the chemo. My friend Darryl felt ill and was sick from it but he drove himself there and back. Personally If it were me I would not go alone. For the simple fact you don't know how your body will react to it especially for the first treatment. Then you will know more about how you feel about the situation. And if you feel then that you can drive afterward then go for it. My opinion don't go alone to the first treatment.

I am happy to hear that your PET Scan results looked good. I bet you do feel better. It's almost like holding your breath and waiting.

After the surgery you just went through, the one you are having tomorrow will be a piece of cake, no doubt. Nonetheless you are and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers every single day. I am with you! Surely you can you feel it? :)

See ya tomorrow!

[Pokerkitty6]

Thanks for your input B...I probably shouldn't drive after my first treatment because I don't know how I will handle it. I had surgery this morning to import my port for chemo. Right now I am very sore and tender. They put it by my collar bone. My bandage has a little blood on it, but they told me not to remove it for 48 hours. I need to eat soon. Haven't ate since yesterday. I have been in a deep sleep since I got home from the hospital around 11am. Can you believe I just woke up? I'm waiting for my husband to make me dinner. Yesterday I had a little more stress added to my plate....One of my brothers got into a little trouble, I won't go into detail about that, but Department of Children and Family's brought me his 11 year old daughter. She now, apparently has to live with us with no contact with her father. It's killing me because her father, age 31, is like my baby. We are very close, so I had no choice but to take his daughter. Her name is Marissa and it's going to be hard on her to watch me go thru this. Looks like now, I'm going to need advice on what to say to a child about my cancer. I had to already explain where my boobs went...This is going to make my journey harder, but I can't let the department have her. Tony and I are now under complete stress. Wish us luck....

[GloBug]

Thanks for your input B...I probably shouldn't drive after my first treatment because I don't know how I will handle it. I had surgery this morning to import my port for chemo. Right now I am very sore and tender. They put it by my collar bone. My bandage has a little blood on it, but they told me not to remove it for 48 hours. I need to eat soon. Haven't ate since yesterday. I have been in a deep sleep since I got home from the hospital around 11am. Can you believe I just woke up? I'm waiting for my husband to make me dinner. Yesterday I had a little more stress added to my plate....One of my brothers got into a little trouble, I won't go into detail about that, but Department of Children and Family's brought me his 11 year old daughter. She now, apparently has to live with us with no contact with her father. It's killing me because her father, age 31, is like my baby. We are very close, so I had no choice but to take his daughter. Her name is Marissa and it's going to be hard on her to watch me go thru this. Looks like now, I'm going to need advice on what to say to a child about my cancer. I had to already explain where my boobs went...This is going to make my journey harder, but I can't let the department have her. Tony and I are now under complete stress. Wish us luck....


well i am glad to see so far so good. well chemo sucks . i had to take my moms late husband to chemo because he couldnt drive after it. i mean they nuke u . wow yeah thats got to be hard to explain that. i know u will be good. just be vigilant in the chemo and recovery side and it will all work out. :sifone:

[taylovesthebeatles]

Oh man Kitty that sucks hardcore! I'm very proud of you for taking her in though, that's what family is for! God will see you through all of this, don't you worry. And as your NDN family we'll do what we can to help pitch in too.

As for what to say to her about cancer, I'm not really sure as I've never had it explained to me when I was little, nor have I had to explain it to someone else who was young. I guess you could start by saying that Aunt Renee or whatever she calls you is very sick and needs lots of strong medicine and hospital visits to help her get better, and even though you'll see her start to look different and probably lose her hair, that's all part of the medicine and it's really working to make her better. It also may help to relate your new boob growth process to her own, so she'll not be so scared by it maybe. That'd give you two something to bond over at least, maybe.

If I think of any other ideas I'll let you know, but that's what I can think of for now. Stay strong Kitty, I love you!!

[BnLM5]

Thanks for your input B...I probably shouldn't drive after my first treatment because I don't know how I will handle it. I had surgery this morning to import my port for chemo. Right now I am very sore and tender. They put it by my collar bone. My bandage has a little blood on it, but they told me not to remove it for 48 hours. I need to eat soon. Haven't ate since yesterday. I have been in a deep sleep since I got home from the hospital around 11am. Can you believe I just woke up? I'm waiting for my husband to make me dinner. Yesterday I had a little more stress added to my plate....One of my brothers got into a little trouble, I won't go into detail about that, but Department of Children and Family's brought me his 11 year old daughter. She now, apparently has to live with us with no contact with her father. It's killing me because her father, age 31, is like my baby. We are very close, so I had no choice but to take his daughter. Her name is Marissa and it's going to be hard on her to watch me go thru this. Looks like now, I'm going to need advice on what to say to a child about my cancer. I had to already explain where my boobs went...This is going to make my journey harder, but I can't let the department have her. Tony and I are now under complete stress. Wish us luck....

Pokerkitty let go of the stress if possible. 11 year old girl is old enough to know the truth. Tell her exactly what is going on. She needs to know. Obviously she is having problems herself as well. She is prob under a great deal of stress also. So she prob needs to talk about the situation with her dad as well. I would suggest that you and Tony be totally open and honest with her in both situations. at 11 they are in between a child and teen and are far from stupid as you very well know. So just tell her how it is. Give her all the love you can. She will prob be a big help to you. Tell her you are sorry about her situation. But everything happens for a reason. Maybe God wants her there for you. Sometimes it is hard to see good things and reason in our lives because of all of the clouds but there is reason and I believe good will come of it.

I'm glad you have decided not to go alone to your fist treatment. I think you made a good decision there. ;)

Glad your surgery went well. Just be careful with the port. My girlfriend had it also. Hers bled a little. But you don't want it to rip. So just take it easy and FOLLOW the doc's orders. K :) Lori

[BnLM5]

Pokerkitty how is your port today? And how are you feeling? I've just been wondering about you so I thought I would let you know.

[taylovesthebeatles]

Hey there Kitty just a thought for you based on another friend's experience with cancer- it's not breast cancer but ovarian but she is still starting chemo too. I don't know how you personally feel about all the chemo side effects and stuff but I know for my friend's mom, she had her daughter shave off all her hair before the chemo started so she wouldn't have to go through the trauma of watching it fall out. You're a really strong woman and I don't know if going through something like that would bother you, but in case you hadn't thought about it I thought I would offer that suggestion out for you. I love you hon!

[twenty47]

hey poker kitty, you're always in my thoughts and prayers (i don't pray everyday but I do when I feel like it) I know the feeling of recovery. I can't say I know about Cancer because I've been blessed (knock on wood) to not have it. I did however have a hysterectomy and lost every chance of ever of having another baby. I was however blessed with one baby, a beautiful boy. he's now 9 years old and I thank God everyday for him. I will never forget the pain of after surgery. In some way we're the same, you lost something personal and so did I, but you have the chance to get another, I on the other hand can't get another womb.. but i see the importance of a women's breast. With me it was partially my fault why it came about, with you, you had no choice and that's what makes it wrong. I wish we all lived in a perfect world and there was no cancer, no mistakes, no reason to lose. But we don't and i know it probably doesn't mean much but I'm glad you get to get that boob back and I'm sorry it hurts so much. don't overdue anything, when the dr's say rest, they mean rest.

[taylovesthebeatles]

hey poker kitty, you're always in my thoughts and prayers (i don't pray everyday but I do when I feel like it) I know the feeling of recovery. I can't say I know about Cancer because I've been blessed (knock on wood) to not have it. I did however have a hysterectomy and lost every chance of ever of having another baby. I was however blessed with one baby, a beautiful boy. he's now 9 years old and I thank God everyday for him. I will never forget the pain of after surgery. In some way we're the same, you lost something personal and so did I, but you have the chance to get another, I on the other hand can't get another womb.. but i see the importance of a women's breast. With me it was partially my fault why it came about, with you, you had no choice and that's what makes it wrong. I wish we all lived in a perfect world and there was no cancer, no mistakes, no reason to lose. But we don't and i know it probably doesn't mean much but I'm glad you get to get that boob back and I'm sorry it hurts so much. don't overdue anything, when the dr's say rest, they mean rest.

okd3hLlvvLw

[Pokerkitty6]

Thanks Tay, I luv u too. Twenty, I also had a hystorectomy a couple of years ago. I waited until I was over 40 because I wanted kids. I never got pregnant so my brothers and sisters have shared theirs with me since birth. I have alot of relationships with alot of kids, I have about 33 neices and nephews under the age of 20. We have 4 newborns in the family this year and 1 already to pop into the new year. That's what happens when your decides to pop out 10 of her own. I'm really over the baby thing at this point and happy with not having any. I had no choice but to change my attitude on that one. Right now as a few days ago, I have my 10 year neice living with me by court orders. I would rather her be here than in a foster home. This is not the first time I have been down this road. I come from a very disfunctional family. I wish one day we will have a world of no cancer. Alot of us do. Hey B...my port feels like it is fragile, like if I roll over it might pop out. I know it won't, but because it's new to me I feel it. I was able to shower and my bandages off today. I also had a cardiogram today. That's like an ultrasound of your heart. They want to make sure my heart is strong for the chemo they are going to give me. Hey Tay, I thought about shaving my head now, but my doctor said to wait because I won't loose my hair until about 3 weeks after my first treatment. One of my members at work gave me a short red headed wig. It's pretty sexy. My green eyes look blue when I have it on. I have to buy a couple more this week and get myself prepared. Thank you all for the advice and inspiration you have given me. You are all helping more than you will ever know. I do appreciate you!

[Lilred36]

Kitty, I am so proud of how strong you are, your niece is very lucky to have you.I knew we had something in common,besides golf.Disfunctional families, my thoughts and prayers are with ya babe, hoping you get rid of that cancer and it stays gone.I also hope we get to play poker soon.

[Pokerkitty6]

Awwww...Lilred you're so sweet. I hope all the cancer is gone too. Just so you know, I'm the second coolest Hillbilly. Seems like we have alot in common.

[freeringo]

A florida hillbilly is like a mountain surfer dude

[Pokerkitty6]

I'm a hillbilly who lives in Florida and was born in West Virginia! LOL

[BnLM5]

I'm a hillbilly who lives in Florida and was born in West Virginia! LOL

Pokerkitty, you were born in West Virginia, and I was born in Virginia. My biological father lives in West Virginia now, Jane Lew I believe. What took you all the way to Florida? You can porb guess what brought me all the way to CA. The USAirForce, did my mom was from CA and She came back after her and my Father divorced.

You guys must be from hillbilly heaven! I am in between the city and the country and just down from the hillbillies. I fit in better in the country but I like the city, and the hills are nice to visit.

Oh and I think people that do not have disfunctional families are far and few these day's. They are the minority!

[BnLM5]

Thanks Tay, I luv u too. Twenty, I also had a hystorectomy a couple of years ago. I waited until I was over 40 because I wanted kids. I never got pregnant so my brothers and sisters have shared theirs with me since birth. I have alot of relationships with alot of kids, I have about 33 neices and nephews under the age of 20. We have 4 newborns in the family this year and 1 already to pop into the new year. That's what happens when your decides to pop out 10 of her own. I'm really over the baby thing at this point and happy with not having any. I had no choice but to change my attitude on that one. Right now as a few days ago, I have my 10 year neice living with me by court orders. I would rather her be here than in a foster home. This is not the first time I have been down this road. I come from a very disfunctional family. I wish one day we will have a world of no cancer. Alot of us do. Hey B...my port feels like it is fragile, like if I roll over it might pop out. I know it won't, but because it's new to me I feel it. I was able to shower and my bandages off today. I also had a cardiogram today. That's like an ultrasound of your heart. They want to make sure my heart is strong for the chemo they are going to give me. Hey Tay, I thought about shaving my head now, but my doctor said to wait because I won't loose my hair until about 3 weeks after my first treatment. One of my members at work gave me a short red headed wig. It's pretty sexy. My green eyes look blue when I have it on. I have to buy a couple more this week and get myself prepared. Thank you all for the advice and inspiration you have given me. You are all helping more than you will ever know. I do appreciate you!

Hey Pokerkitty, I'm sure it is very uncomfortable. No it wont pop out but it is always good to be careful. Hopefully they get it done and out in no time. With a quick total remission status. I am sure your heart is plenty strong it is standard procedure for this type of treatment. (It's a strong one) Your doctors seem to be quick and on the ball that is a nice feeling to know that you are in good care. A positive attitude like you have is the number one key to getting well. This has not been easy on you and it's not getting any easier just yet is it? You just keep smiling and knowing you have it beat and it will get better soon. My thoughts and prayers are with you every single day! Don't hesitate if you need to talk or anything. :) Okee Dokee ...Lori

[woohoosue]

Pokerkitty, you were born in West Virginia, and I was born in Virginia. My biological father lives in West Virginia now, Jane Lew I believe. What took you all the way to Florida? You can porb guess what brought me all the way to CA. The USAirForce, did my mom was from CA and She came back after her and my Father divorced.

You guys must be from hillbilly heaven! I am in between the city and the country and just down from the hillbillies. I fit in better in the country but I like the city, and the hills are nice to visit.

Oh and I think people that do not have disfunctional families are far and few these day's. They are the minority!

ok we have no hillbillies u r right ..we call them rednecks here... an u do have sufer dudes u call them snowboarders
.....and we are all disfunctional cuz we cant all find away to want the same things......im good with disfunctional it means someone is doing what they want no matter what someone else says...lol....and for those that think they have it all together and above reproach ..You are in denial!

poker kitty i like to think of u in as a redhead..... U GO GIRL! hang in there thru all this ...i know it's hard.....You have done so well.....i wish u all the best in recovery .

[Pokerkitty6]

It's funny you said red head. My very first wig is a short sexy red head. My natural color is medium brown, but my best color is blonde. I hope to get a blonde, burnette and black wig. I might as well try all the colors. You're right about Florida, we are rednecks here. Most of my high school class was in Future Farmers of America, including myself. When you come from a family as large as mine you know it's going to be disfunctional, hell, there's not enough branches on any tree to keep up with us!!! I actually have to use a wall calendar to keep track of everybody's birthdays and you know I'm going to get some of them wrong. My neice turned 4 this year, but the calendar said 14! She loved it. I went oops! It happens....

[BnLM5]

Oh my gosh kitty I would have never guessed that you are a natural med brown you look great as a blond. So I am sure you will look great in all of them.

I look bad bad bad with blond hair.

[freeringo]

What would Eejit say:
Can we get back on topic please....?

FN girl talk.....:beatdeadhorse5:

[BnLM5]

Pokerkitty how did your first chemo treatment go today? I hope it went well! I have been thinking about you so I thought that I would tell you that. My thoughts, my heart and my prayers are with you. :) Lori

[freeringo]

Pokerkitty how did your first chemo treatment go today? I hope it went well! I have been thinking about you so I thought that I would tell you that. My thoughts, my heart and my prayers are with you. :) Lori

I nice chip game would help I bet!!!!:boxing_smiley:

[Pokerkitty6]

Well my first chemo has me pretty sick about right now. The pharmacy won't have my Zofran in until tomorrow for nasuea. It took four hours and one back of drugs was red, so they said I will pee red. Good thing they told me about that one. I took the BRACA test today to see where cancer will pop up next, to try to prevent it from happening. They had 7 relciners, 6 facing one way and the 7th facing all of them. I ended up in the 7th chair and I looked up to see all 70 and 80 year olds. That's when I lost it. I felt I'm way too young to be getting this. I told them it was my first time. The nurse said I need to calm down or the chemo effects will be worse for me, so they gave me some happy juice. Right now I am light headed and nauseas. I'm sure tomorrow will be a better day. Today was just overwelming for me. I go back on the 26th for my next treatment, I'm sure I'll handle it better then. I hope! I want one of those purple bracelets that say CANCER SUCKS because thats what I say. Any advice will be greatly appreciated. I'm not used to this.

[BnLM5]

Oh pokerkitty I am so sorry! It is a scary situation that's a fact and chemo is going to make you sick. Although I have not yet had to experience cancer or the things that go along with it I have seen and been around it all very much and very close. You are very young but there are many young people that are faced with cancer. You have a very aggressive type of cancer yet it is very likely that you will be able to put down. Meaning I believe there is a very good chance that the chemo will stop any chance of it growing. And your cancer will go into remission. I have seen this happen with the type of cancer that you have. So hang in there and keep your positive attitude. I can not express to you how important your attitude is right now. It is very difficult especially concerning your stress level not knowing what is happening to you. But just try to keep it in your mind that you have it beat and believe that. And I believe you will beat it. I truly do!!! Have you considered checking into a support group. I think it would be a very good idea. Because support groups have people who are or have experienced the same exact thing you are dealing with. There you can meet and talk about what is happening to you and the people can relate personally. There you will also see the many that have beat what you have. You can check into it they have online support groups where you never leave your house or never see the people if you chose not to but you can read all you want. You don't even have to post if you don't want to. But I think it would be a good Idea for you to read about the people who are or have dealt with the exact same thing that you are faced. But more importantly to read that many people have beat it. The success stories are most uplifting and will help keep you positive.

This is in no way a comparison to what you have. But I know that it has helped my friend (Andrea) a lot to meet people that can relate to her. I wanted to mention to you that one of my very best friends is having a very hard time with cancer as we speak. She is 27 years old. She has a different type of cancer it is called Osteo-carcinoma which is a bone cancer that has developed tumors in hers body. She had to have one of her legs amputated all the way to the pelvis last July and has since developed cancer in her lungs. Doctors say that she will battle cancer for the rest of her life. So her talking to people that also are dealing with what she is has helped her to keep on keeping on. Not that she is glad that others are faced with such a tragedy but that she is not alone has been most comforting for her.

Lots of love and support to you from me you are in my prayers every single day. If there is anything I can do please let me know. I am there for you!

:) Lori

[Pokerkitty6]

Thank you so much Lori. I am soooo sorry to hear about your friend Andrea. I heard bone cancer is one of the most painful cancers. I wish her all the luck in the world and will put her in my prayers. I do have a huge support group, it just gets to me sometimes. I have only cried maybe 5 times in the last month, so thats not so bad. I'm just so much of a baby when I don't feel good and I feel really sick right now. I wish I had my pills tonight, I feel like I'm going to throw up and I don't want to.

[BnLM5]

You are most welcome Pokerkitty I just wish I could make it all better for you.

Thank you for your prayers they are much appreciated. Just so you know that my idea was for you to see how important it is to stay positive.

It makes me mad that the pharmacy does not have your meds. That is just par! It is just amazing how pharmacies can be so unprepared for things that are so important. I bet if it were them they would have it.

I don't blame you about not wanting to throw up I wouldn't want to either. But don't think you are a baby for crying. You can cry if you want to it relieves stress. It is good to cry sometimes. I will cry with you or for you just remember that. Hopefully as the night comes you will start feeling better. :)

What time was your treatment complete today?

[bouks999]

i am so sorry to hear that when my daughter was diagnosed with leukemia i was devastated i cried a whole lot but shes pulling through and so will you and as far as boob jobs go i would like one too if i could afford it lol. It is nice that you are taking it one day at a time. Cancer is very hard. My daughter lost hair and she was sick from t he khemo so if you need advice im here. I may have not gone through it but my daughter is. So i know how you feel.

[taylovesthebeatles]

Carbon LeafBlock Of Wood Ringtones Left Send "Block Of Wood" Ringtone to your Cell Carbon LeafBlock Of Wood Ringtones Right

Grab your heart we need to leave
There's no time to cry or grieve
For the fallen family tree

Rise above the flooding plain
Crouching low to duck the flame
Generations against the grain
Up in smoke and down the drain

If the fire, if the flood
Burns the tree and thins the blood
If your tears don't want to dry
I can help you cry
Through the night
Through the night and day
I can't your pain away
But I can help you cry

We'll cut the branch from this tree
Carve a place for you and me
A wooden seat that we can string
From a branch where we can swing

We'll take this block of wood
Carve it down and sand it good
When finished it will be
A souvenir of the family tree

And if the fire, if the flood
Burns the tree and thins the blood
If your tears don't wanna dry

I can help you cry
Through the night
Through the night and day
I can't take your pain away
But I can help you cry
Through the night
Through the night and day
I can't take your pain away
I can try but

God help me please
Come save the family tree
My friends I broke them all
When falling off the wall

In the ash I found an ember
Something warm to help remember
A block of wood that used to be
A strong tall family tree

A strong tall family tree
Blowing in the breeze

Cry through the night
Through the night and day
I can't take your pain away
But I can help you cry
Through the night
Through the night and day
I can't take your pain away
But I can help you cry

"Block of Wood" by Carbon Leaf

My prayers are with you, sis. Remember that it's okay to cry. You will fight this and we will be there with you. Thanks for keeping us updated on your progress, girl. Cancer has no regard for age, it hits everyone from infants to the elderly. The key is faith and fighting, which you have going for you. Much love to my dear Renee!

[Pokerkitty6]

Bouks, I am sooo sorry for your little girl. I wish you only the best, you have alot on your plate right now and you have to be extra strong for your little angel. Tay and B, my girls who I can always count on, thank you for everything. I was in chemo for 4 hours yesterday and today I had to go get a shot to keep my white blood count up. Apparently 24 hours after chemo you will always get this shot. My dr. told me to expect a fever, bone pains, and pain that feels like I might be having a heart attack. I told her I'm glad she told me that or I would think I'm having a panic attack. She told me to stay on my Zanex, I'm probably spelling that wrong. That little pill makes me feel like I'm high, I kinda like it! I got my Zofran for nasuea today, thank God. Those have made me feel better all day. She told me I should not drink alcohol because my liver is being overworked by all the chemo and other meds I'm on. I asked about medical marijuana, but it's not legal in the state of Florida. Hey, you can't blame a girl for asking. I'll just have to be happy with the meds I have. A couple of them aren't that bad! I sure do miss my grapebombs!!! C-ya at the tables!

[BnLM5]

Pokerkitty are you feeling any better today. has the sick feeling eased at all. I have been wondering if you are better as some feel better in a couple of days and some stay sick. I am hoping and praying that you are one of the lucky ones and will only feel sick for a bit and then it is gone. :) Lots of Love Lori

[taylovesthebeatles]

I'm really glad you got your Zofran, that's great Kitty! I hope you start feeling better real soon. And definitely stay away from the alcohol- I'll drink some for you tonight how's that?

[BnLM5]

Bouks, I am sooo sorry for your little girl. I wish you only the best, you have alot on your plate right now and you have to be extra strong for your little angel. Tay and B, my girls who I can always count on, thank you for everything. I was in chemo for 4 hours yesterday and today I had to go get a shot to keep my white blood count up. Apparently 24 hours after chemo you will always get this shot. My dr. told me to expect a fever, bone pains, and pain that feels like I might be having a heart attack. I told her I'm glad she told me that or I would think I'm having a panic attack. She told me to stay on my Zanex, I'm probably spelling that wrong. That little pill makes me feel like I'm high, I kinda like it! I got my Zofran for nasuea today, thank God. Those have made me feel better all day. She told me I should not drink alcohol because my liver is being overworked by all the chemo and other meds I'm on. I asked about medical marijuana, but it's not legal in the state of Florida. Hey, you can't blame a girl for asking. I'll just have to be happy with the meds I have. A couple of them aren't that bad! I sure do miss my grapebombs!!! C-ya at the tables!


Well, well, well Pokerkitty I guess I should read a little better next time as I thought you were talking to bouks999. So I am glad that you got your meds for the sickness. And Xxanax and sometimes spelt with only one x and pronounced like >(zanax) is great for anxiety and will make you feel pretty good at first. But please note that Xxanax is highly addictive. I used to take them for anxiety. So just be careful. little oval orange pills if they are the same mg. They are good in a pinch and you my friend are in a pinch. I just want you to be careful from my own experience.

Oh and what is a grapebomb? Just curious. Love ya Kitty, take care hun! :)

[Pokerkitty6]

Good Morning!! My 2nd day after chemo and I am still a little sick to my stomach, not throwing up, just feel like I could. My port hurt last night. It was stinking me. Is that normal? It feels ok today. I just took a tylenol pm and went back to sleep. I have felt light headed since chemo too. Does that make any sense or is all just in my head. I tell ya this cancer thing still seems like its not real to me, just a bad dream. I applied for short term disability today. I hope that works out. Its hard not getting a paycheck when you're used to it every week. Thanks again everybody for your continued support, I really do appreciate you all!!!

[Pokerkitty6]

Oh yeah B...I would have never thought you would be a whiskey girl, thats my sister's online name. I'll have to get her on NDN soon! A grapebomb is Three Olive grape flavored vodka with red bull. Most people do it as a shot, but I like it as a c o cktail. Cheers!!!! Hey Tay don't forget to drink one for me or two!

[freeringo]

Good Morning!! My 2nd day after chemo and I am still a little sick to my stomach, not throwing up, just feel like I could. My port hurt last night. It was stinking me. Is that normal? It feels ok today. I just took a tylenol pm and went back to sleep. I have felt light headed since chemo too. Does that make any sense or is all just in my head. I tell ya this cancer thing still seems like its not real to me, just a bad dream. I applied for short term disability today. I hope that works out. Its hard not getting a paycheck when you're used to it every week. Thanks again everybody for your continued support, I really do appreciate you all!!!


Get some pot for gods sake.
It will make you feel so much better.:sifone:

[Pokerkitty6]

I know I should, I want to, but I still have a 10 year old girl living with me and she has a very big mouth. It sure does sound good though. Toke one for me!


psss....replace the word stinking me with stinging me please, my typo as usual...

[freeringo]

I know I should, I want to, but I still have a 10 year old girl living with me and she has a very big mouth. It sure does sound good though. Toke one for me!


psss....replace the word stinking me with stinging me please, my typo as usual...


You tell her and anyone that listens too her that Marijuana is your medicine that will save your life.
You still live in shame of what others think.
Kitty you have earned the right to do what ever you want.
I smoke in front (my bedroom) of my kids and I am honest about every aspect of it.
They are not allowed to smoke until they get out of school.
They know that smoking pot will deminish their ability to learn and learning comes first.
Then they can make any choice they want when they graduate.
Be brave.

[BnLM5]

Good Morning!! My 2nd day after chemo and I am still a little sick to my stomach, not throwing up, just feel like I could. My port hurt last night. It was stinking me. Is that normal? It feels ok today. I just took a tylenol pm and went back to sleep. I have felt light headed since chemo too. Does that make any sense or is all just in my head. I tell ya this cancer thing still seems like its not real to me, just a bad dream. I applied for short term disability today. I hope that works out. Its hard not getting a paycheck when you're used to it every week. Thanks again everybody for your continued support, I really do appreciate you all!!!

Kitty what do you mean that your port hurt last night?

And are you kidding me? Is it just all in your head? No it is not all in your head. You have been hit in the face with an incredibly difficult situation and it sucks! That is a an under statement to be honest. It is terrifying! It is not a thing that we can just take in and go about our merry way. It is difficult to understand? So it makes perfect sense to me that you feel like your having a bad dream and you are feeling light headed. I am actually surprised that you haven't felt light head from just the thoughts going through your head alone. Not to mention the trauma of all this crap. Chemo treatments are nothing nice. It does not matter who you are. And cancer is not a joke. It has got you down, that's a fact.

Now on the brighter side of things it can't keep you down and that is why we decide to go through with the chemo treatments. And that is why we keep a positive attitude because we can. By doing this we fight strong and we don't back down. Making a good chance that we WIN! What happens when we back down in a fight? We look weak. We give the upper hand or the power to the opponent. We enable the opponent to continue to bully us. Then sometimes we lose. Don't let it keep you down. Your sick and you are gonna feel sick some days more than others. You are going to have bad days and you are going to have better days and you are going to have good days. I know that you can whip this. I don't know if you know you can or not but I do understand that you are scared and unsure of things, but know that you can whip it and you will!!! Here is an :Angel_anim: for you. :+) that is a smiley with a positive attitude.

[Pokerkitty6]

Thanks again everybody. I can almost do what I want to do if the Department of Children and Families weren't at my house so much. This little girl sees a counselor two times a week, the social worker and the guardian ad litium. If they came to my house and smelled anything they would arrest me and take her to a foster home. Oh well, I know things will only get better. Now if that lingering nasuea would just go away everything will be fine. We are trying to follow the DCF program to get her back home with her Dad asap. That is the best solution for everybody, but these things take time. By the way, my port stopped hurting, so maybe I will only feel it sting 24 hours after chemo....

[Pokerkitty6]

Yesterday was my worst day. Sick as a dog. I was too sick to play the freeroll last night so Tony played for me. He doesn't chat too much. I used to be like that...He came in third place, so that works for me. Today is a much better day. C-ya at the tables soon.

[BnLM5]

Yesterday was my worst day. Sick as a dog. I was too sick to play the freeroll last night so Tony played for me. He doesn't chat too much. I used to be like that...He came in third place, so that works for me. Today is a much better day. C-ya at the tables soon.

I am sorry you had such a bad day. Now has passed a bad, today a better day and next is a good day! Lot's of prayers are being said for you. :)

[taylovesthebeatles]

I am so sorry Kitty, I hope this passes real soon and you feel better! Hang in there, there will be ups and downs and as Lori said we are all constantly covering you in a blanket of prayer!

[Pokerkitty6]

YEY!!!! I feel soooo much better today! Too bad we don't have a chips game going on! I hope you all enjoy your day as much as I am going to. I'm not going anywhere, but I am going to enjoy not feeling sick. I bet I win some money today. I just have to figure out which poker room I want to play in. For once I have money in all the rooms and we don't have the NDNPT going on. Just my luck! Oh well, at least I have money and a choice of poker rooms!!!!

[BnLM5]

YEY!!!! I feel soooo much better today! Too bad we don't have a chips game going on! I hope you all enjoy your day as much as I am going to. I'm not going anywhere, but I am going to enjoy not feeling sick. I bet I win some money today. I just have to figure out which poker room I want to play in. For once I have money in all the rooms and we don't have the NDNPT going on. Just my luck! Oh well, at least I have money and a choice of poker rooms!!!!

Wow this is great news. And I missed it, two days ago? I don't know about me sometimes. But no matter what they say about me I am ok. Trust me! The famous last words. lol What a good feeling I have, just to read that you are feel soooo much better. I hope this continues and it very likely will. Sometimes people are only sick for the first few days. It would be nice if you are one of them. That is for sure. Well hang in there! :)

[Pokerkitty6]

I was sick for a whole week after chemo, lingering nasuea. Now I feel sooo much better. Thanks for keeping my spirits up!!!

[BnLM5]

I was sick for a whole week after chemo, lingering nasuea. Now I feel sooo much better. Thanks for keeping my spirits up!!!

Gees Pokerkitty that is the least I can do. I figure what are friends for anyway. If I could take some of your pain I would but unfortunately life does not work that way. For that I am sorry. But I am here for you in any other way that I possibly can be! :)

[terbo71]

I was sick for a whole week after chemo, lingering nasuea. Now I feel sooo much better. Thanks for keeping my spirits up!!!

I have been unable to be around here kitty but I want to let you know you are still in my thoughts and prayers. I can't even pretend to imagine what a toll this has taken on you and your family, but from what I have read, it sounds like you are very strong and surrounded by the same. I wish you and your family the best kitty. And for what ringo said... Do they not have pot available as a perscription where you are from? It would help with the nasuea and the pain.

[Pokerkitty6]

Thanks Terbo. I want some of what Ringo said soooo bad, but it is not legal in Fla. even with cancer. It sucks. Plus I have a 10year old following me around right now. Oh well, I'll stay on the meds, better than nothing. Thanks again for checking in. This thread has actually helping me keep track of everything. The other day one of my doctors asked when I had my PET scan and I had to actually go on here to find out. Talk to ya soon.

[terbo71]

Thanks Terbo. I want some of what Ringo said soooo bad, but it is not legal in Fla. even with cancer. It sucks. Plus I have a 10year old following me around right now. Oh well, I'll stay on the meds, better than nothing. Thanks again for checking in. This thread has actually helping me keep track of everything. The other day one of my doctors asked when I had my PET scan and I had to actually go on here to find out. Talk to ya soon.

You're right, the meds are definately better than nothing. I am also glad to hear this is helping you too. It took a lot for you to share this with all of us, and I think I speek for several when I say the strength you have shown here has also helped us. Thank you kitty.

[Pokerkitty6]

Went to the dr this morning and guess what.....I grew out of my A cup training bra!!!! Dr. Nijher turned my A cups into B cups!!!! Yey!!!!! It was amazing, the only thing that hurt was the needle going into my skin. I have 3 ports in my body now, 1 for my chemo, and 1 for each boob. He has it scheduled perfectly in between my chemo's. I go back in 3 weeks to become a C cup. That was my size when they amputated them in the first place. I tell ya, it's amazing to watch the girls grow like that and I have 3 weeks to decide, should I stay or should I go.....bigger!!!! I mean if you're gonna get some tits, might as well get some nice one's!!!! They will stay nice and firm for the rest of my life. This is the most excitement I've had in the last two months! Can ya tell? Have a great day all!! I know I will!!

[freeringo]

Went to the dr this morning and guess what.....I grew out of my A cup training bra!!!! Dr. Nijher turned my A cups into B cups!!!! Yey!!!!! It was amazing, the only thing that hurt was the needle going into my skin. I have 3 ports in my body now, 1 for my chemo, and 1 for each boob. He has it scheduled perfectly in between my chemo's. I go back in 3 weeks to become a C cup. That was my size when they amputated them in the first place. I tell ya, it's amazing to watch the girls grow like that and I have 3 weeks to decide, should I stay or should I go.....bigger!!!! I mean if you're gonna get some tits, might as well get some nice one's!!!! They will stay nice and firm for the rest of my life. This is the most excitement I've had in the last two months! Can ya tell? Have a great day all!! I know I will!!


I wish we could be a part of choosing your new tits.
Even some photo comparrisons would be nice.
This would be educational not R-rated NDN :drool5:

[freeringo]

Thanks again everybody. I can almost do what I want to do if the Department of Children and Families weren't at my house so much. This little girl sees a counselor two times a week, the social worker and the guardian ad litium. If they came to my house and smelled anything they would arrest me and take her to a foster home. Oh well, I know things will only get better. Now if that lingering nasuea would just go away everything will be fine. We are trying to follow the DCF program to get her back home with her Dad asap. That is the best solution for everybody, but these things take time. By the way, my port stopped hurting, so maybe I will only feel it sting 24 hours after chemo....


FN Bushland Florida Laws

I love my broke *** state of California

[BnLM5]

Went to the dr this morning and guess what.....I grew out of my A cup training bra!!!! Dr. Nijher turned my A cups into B cups!!!! Yey!!!!! It was amazing, the only thing that hurt was the needle going into my skin. I have 3 ports in my body now, 1 for my chemo, and 1 for each boob. He has it scheduled perfectly in between my chemo's. I go back in 3 weeks to become a C cup. That was my size when they amputated them in the first place. I tell ya, it's amazing to watch the girls grow like that and I have 3 weeks to decide, should I stay or should I go.....bigger!!!! I mean if you're gonna get some tits, might as well get some nice one's!!!! They will stay nice and firm for the rest of my life. This is the most excitement I've had in the last two months! Can ya tell? Have a great day all!! I know I will!!

Now that is what I am talking about. I mean big boobs are good and all but nice perfect and firm big boobs for the rest of my life is a whole lot gooder! lol Truly the goodest. Surly a day does not pass by that we are not blessed in many ways! How sweet are those blessings when we see them and we give thanks! Your strength and good attitude has been a pleasure and I have learned from you PK! Thanks!

[Pokerkitty6]

I wish NDN woulda let ya'll see my old boobs. I posted a pic, but I guess I must have offended someone. I was proud of those puppies!!!! My doctor just cut them off and threw them in the garbage can. What a waste! I made my hubby take pics a week before, kind of a going way party. He got carried away and I thought I would look sexier with the viking logo in the pic. The viking pic got to stay on my profile, but the boobs had to go. A shame I tell you. That was a good night for me. When I finally get my new girls settled next year, I'll post a new photo. I actually wanted to compare before and after...I'll have to think of a way to have a coming out photo that is not so offensive. I wouldn't have this problem in Swedan! Its just boobs for God's sake. I am not shy about my body. Sometimes Americans can be sooooo uptight. We all have the same parts. I was happy to have mine and sad I had to say goodbye. Now I wonder what the end result will be. I think I'm gonna luv them! Dr. Nijher is great!!!

[taylovesthebeatles]

That is awesome Pokerkitty, I'm really really happy for you! You get to go through discovery of new tits twice, none of us get to do that! I'm sorry the pics didn't work out...maybe NDN would let you email them to those who want to see. I know I'm curious and I'm proud of you for being proud of the girls, you should be! I hope Tony enjoys them too, I'm sure he does. Hooray for boobs!

[BnLM5]

How is everything going PokerKitty? I am gonna go with it's all going smoothly. The physical and mental of everything and your niece. :) I've been thinking about you and your always in my prayers.

[freeringo]

How is everything going PokerKitty? I am gonna go with it's all going smoothly. The physical and mental of everything and your niece. :) I've been thinking about you and your always in my prayers.
Poor girls, got BAP on the brain.

Hey Kitty!!!

Relax

FUMcGZTxMIc&feature=related

[freeringo]

Frankie looks alot like Eejit:willy_nilly:

[Pokerkitty6]

Oh yeah!!! BAP on the mind alright!!!.. Thanks for everything! My mind just went blank tonight. My husband asked what BAP stands for and I couldn't even tell him anything except we pool our money together. What does BAP stand for so I can answer him? My neice still lives with us and starts school on Monday. We have to go to open house on Friday so I can tell her teacher to keep her away from all sick kids. This is the wrong time in my life to have a kid! The germ and flu thing is scaring me to death. Chemo kills your immune system. Oh well, she is better here than in a foster home. I just wish the legal system would move a little faster so she can go back home and I can concentrate on me. Life happens, deal with it! Cancer Sucks!!! I feel great this week! Thank God!!!

[freeringo]

Im ashamed to say I don't know what BAP means either.

I just had Charter High School orientation and this is going to work out great.
Home schooling is where it's at.
We never get sick.
Good luck with everything.
Relax during BAP game
You have nothing to lose.
You don't need to pressure yourself right now on poker game.
Have fun with it.

[TerpZone]

"buy a piece"

I just discovered this like 20 mins ago when I was reading the bap rules!

[BnLM5]

Oh yeah!!! BAP on the mind alright!!!.. Thanks for everything! My mind just went blank tonight. My husband asked what BAP stands for and I couldn't even tell him anything except we pool our money together. What does BAP stand for so I can answer him? My neice still lives with us and starts school on Monday. We have to go to open house on Friday so I can tell her teacher to keep her away from all sick kids. This is the wrong time in my life to have a kid! The germ and flu thing is scaring me to death. Chemo kills your immune system. Oh well, she is better here than in a foster home. I just wish the legal system would move a little faster so she can go back home and I can concentrate on me. Life happens, deal with it! Cancer Sucks!!! I feel great this week! Thank God!!!

You are gonna be fine. Just a few things to keep in mind. You and every one at or in your house wash your hands with soap and lots of water frequently. (use lotion). Pathogens (bacteria or virus) has to enter your body before you will get sick. They do this in many ways...like chapped or cracks in your skin, or if it is air borne breathing germs from a sneeze or cough etc. Try to avoid touching money! (Only God knows who has touched it or where they have been) Avoid putting your hands in your mouth or on your face as much as possible. When doing things in public be aware of things like pushing shopping carts they are filthy like money. sign things with your own pen don't put it in your mouth. Just be aware of anything you touch. Keep your hands free of cracks or soars even your cuticles. And wash hands frequently. And of course avoid people with the flu or cold or sickness as any of us would normally. And you should be fine. Oh and don't pick your nose. LOL Just kidding but really. I am glad to hear you are feeling well, that is great. And good idea about the conference. Most importantly make sure your niece knows how important it is that she be as germ free as you are. Wash, wash, wash! :)

[Pokerkitty6]

Hi all! I did something today I've never done before. I shaved my head! My hair was falling out so bad, I had no choice. It's freaky. My neice brought me the dust pan and saw me tearing up and said it's ok, you're still a beautiful woman. I told her she was sweet. I also told her I was crying because I was having a funeral for my hair. So we said "goodbye hair" together. It was a moment, I'm sure neither one of us will ever forget. My husband is going to freak out when he gets home tonight and sees I have no hair. Marissa and I went to Publix and people were staring at me. I had a doo-rag on and they still stared. It was quite comical actually. I told her next time we go out I might go bald and we'll really have some fun. It was weird, I grabbed my purse to get my keys and found my hair brush. I guess I won't need that for a while so I put it up, more room in my purse. Having no hair does kinda make you feel free. I took a shower and thought, gee this is what it feels like to be a guy, I can be ready in 5 minutes. I put up my hair dryer and my hair straightner. I have a wig, but it feels weird. I don't think I will like wigs. It's going to be hard having no hair. I'll have to go around like this for at least 8 months. Thats a long time for a woman to have no hair. There are certin parts of me I love with no hair. I tell ya I've never been that smooth before, so I guess ya gotta take the good with bad. Maybe that's how I'll distract Tony from looking at my head. I start to get boobs and I go bald. Cancer sucks!

[BnLM5]

PokerKitty today as I read what you had to say about shaving your hair off I found my self confused by several emotions. I cried for you. It was really weird. Now I feel a calmness around me that I can't explain. First I was lost like I wanted to think of what I could say for you to feel better. But I couldn't think. Then your niece, wow she is learning about some important things in life right now and she doesn't even realize it. You are playing a very big role in her life at this time. I admire you so much for that. And Tony the love you have for him is obvious and he will think you are sexy I would bet on it! Then I cried for myself I think. As I yearn for love like that. When someone really loves you, they love you for who you are, and who you are is that what comes from within. The outer beauty is overlooked by true love. Then I smiled as I see the positive attitude in you with Marissa. While you try to overcome your insecurities about the world around you and what they think about the way you look. I know you don't want to hear this right now but it's true nonetheless so I will say it..... You having no hair is a much bigger deal to you because you are living in the sudden experience. So I am sure as many people/in public were not looking at you for the reason of your hair as it is not new to them like it is to you. You can make it fun, as fun is always good, but remember it is okay to be scared too and it's okay for Marissa to know that. I said a prayer for you both today. As for me I pray that God will give me the peace that passes understanding for what is. Because come what has or will is always hard to understand. I can see the calmness I am feeling now is that peace that passes understanding that I pray for. Keep your chin up and stay strong were gonna beat it. We have some cancer a$$ kicking to do. We are getting there. Losing your hair is knowing that you are one step closer to victory. Lots of Love to you PK from me. ;) Lori

[Pokerkitty6]

Wow Lori! You bring out some wild emotions in me. You are truly a good person, this I know, you can't fake something like that. I appreciate you helping me be strong. On a happier note, I forgot to tell you Marissa made me a special breakfast this morning...first time she ever made scrabled eggs, coffee with a banana wedge, and lemon drop candy with a prune on the side. She did cheer me up and the eggs were good too!!!

[freeringo]

Bald women are a huge turn on!!!!!!!!!:drool5:

[BnLM5]

Wow Lori! You bring out some wild emotions in me. You are truly a good person, this I know, you can't fake something like that. I appreciate you helping me be strong. On a happier note, I forgot to tell you Marissa made me a special breakfast this morning...first time she ever made scrabled eggs, coffee with a banana wedge, and lemon drop candy with a prune on the side. She did cheer me up and the eggs were good too!!!

Thank you! What a sweetheart your niece is! (very thoughtful) She is learning a love that is never forgot! She is a very lucky girl and I really believe she is in a good place right now! Well needed by both of you prob. Why do all the good things in life have to be so hard? Or so it seems. Maybe because it is so human to be more aware of the difficult times as we all too often take advantage of the easy times and our subconscious is not even aware. So there for we feel the hard time more. I don't really know the answer as that was just my thought on it. Keep smiling it is so important! I am stressing this to you. Keep your love close and your head up. Your are well on your way to getting a grip on it now. So keep it up and you will conquer it Kitty! :)

[eejit101]

Wow, i missed 150 posts in here.

Ill read it one day.

I do not look like frnakie goes to hollywood.

And lv ya PK

[taylovesthebeatles]

Pokerkitty, thanks again as always for the update. I pray for you and your family constantly, and think of you often- I feel so incredibly blessed to call you a sister and a friend.

I'm proud of you for having the courage to shave your head. Although the reasons are not nearly as traumatic as your own, I can definitely sympathize with the feeling of loss and disconnection from not being able to use and participate in the same things that others take for granted on a daily basis. On the other hand, it can make life so much easier sometimes! For me, I can avoid entire sections of stores simply because I can't wear certain items or styles of clothing, like shorts or pants. Think of how much time and money that saves! I don't want to sound like I'm trying to patronize you or anything like that, but hopefully the wigs will get more comfortable for you and you'll get to do all sorts of things you couldn't do as easily before, and it'll be fun!

I wish you all the best, and I can't wait for the next update on how you are doing. Love you, girl.

[Pokerkitty6]

Awww Tay, you're great! Thanks! I was just thinking about all the money we'll be saving on shampoo, conditioner, razors and shaving cream. We've already saved money by buying less wine, champagne, vodka, beer and redbull. It's soooo much cheaper when only one of you are drinking!!! I have been having one or two every now and then! I miss it. I love to party! When I get better, lookout!!! Luv you too!!!

[Lilred36]

Awww Tay, you're great! Thanks! I was just thinking about all the money we'll be saving on shampoo, conditioner, razors and shaving cream. We've already saved money by buying less wine, champagne, vodka, beer and redbull. It's soooo much cheaper when only one of you are drinking!!! I have been having one or two every now and then! I miss it. I love to party! When I get better, lookout!!! Luv you too!!!

When you get better doll,we will all party! One day we will have a street party just for NDNers! As always my prayers are with ya.

[Pokerkitty6]

Sooooo....I had my second round of chemo today, at least I didn't cry this time. I didn't want to say anything earlier because I was afraid you would kick me out of the BAP, but I felt good enought to play. I was doing good and then busted out with my 3-6's against 3-k's. Just some bad luck. Anyway I am a little more sick now. I really thought I would win something. Chemo this time around was still four hours long, but it did seem a little easier on be. I spent the time working on my fantasty football picks. Have to get myself ready for 2 weeks of misery. Cancer Sucks!!!

[GloBug]

Sooooo....I had my second round of chemo today, at least I didn't cry this time. I didn't want to say anything earlier because I was afraid you would kick me out of the BAP, but I felt good enought to play. I was doing good and then busted out with my 3-6's against 3-k's. Just some bad luck. Anyway I am a little more sick now. I really thought I would win something. Chemo this time around was still four hours long, but it did seem a little easier on be. I spent the time working on my fantasty football picks. Have to get myself ready for 2 weeks of misery. Cancer Sucks!!!


well you are vry strong to be able to go thru chemo and then play ib the tourney . you were doing so good. bad luck on the bust hand. imagine if he didnt hit you would be sittin pretty right now. its okay i dont think you would have gotten kicked out of bap game.

[BnLM5]

Sooooo....I had my second round of chemo today, at least I didn't cry this time. I didn't want to say anything earlier because I was afraid you would kick me out of the BAP, but I felt good enought to play. I was doing good and then busted out with my 3-6's against 3-k's. Just some bad luck. Anyway I am a little more sick now. I really thought I would win something. Chemo this time around was still four hours long, but it did seem a little easier on be. I spent the time working on my fantasty football picks. Have to get myself ready for 2 weeks of misery. Cancer Sucks!!!

Yep cancer sucks! I do agree. What do you mean you have to get yourself ready for two weeks of misery? Sorry you didn't win in the BAP game. You'll get em next time. Hopefully you will feel better tomorrow. That would be a little quicker than the first time. But it was a little easier on you this time. Probably is partly due to the fact that you were not as nervous as you were the first time. As you knew what to expect. Our nerves and stress level can sure take a toll on us. I can't wait until your treatments stop. How many treatments are in this round of chemo? If you don't mind, how often are they running a CBC on you (complete blood count)? I was just wondering... Take care, my thoughts and prayers are with you every single day have no doubt about that. :)

[freeringo]

Yep cancer sucks! I do agree. What do you mean you have to get yourself ready for two weeks of misery? Sorry you didn't win in the BAP game. You'll get em next time. Hopefully you will feel better tomorrow. That would be a little quicker than the first time. But it was a little easier on you this time. Probably is partly due to the fact that you were not as nervous as you were the first time. As you knew what to expect. Our nerves and stress level can sure take a toll on us. I can't wait until your treatments stop. How many treatments are in this round of chemo? If you don't mind, how often are they running a CBC on you (complete blood count)? I was just wondering... Take care, my thoughts and prayers are with you every single day have no doubt about that. :)


Mine too.

Today if the best day of your life.
Always remember that.

[Pokerkitty6]

Hi all! I'm feeling better today. Yesterday was really rough, never been so sick. I have 4 more chemo's to go. I'll finish them in Nov. or Dec. depending on their schedule and me not getting sick. They always check my blood count a couple days before chemo to make sure I can handle it. Then the day after like today, I go in 24 hours after chemo and get a shot. I think the shot is to boost my blood cells. I got some new medicine to help with my nasuea, so I hope this one works. Thanks for checking on me and I'll talk to ya soon.

[BnLM5]

Well we have had a bad day, a better day, now we are looking for a good day. So Great right on track. :) The shot, I am thinking is probably Neulasta. Neulasta is given 24 hours after chemo and 14 days before the next cycle. It stimulates the bone marrow to produce white blood cells which work as a defense mechanism for our immune system. Easier to say that they fight off infection, bacteria and such. Did you know that we have five different types of white blood cells and each one has a different purpose in the immune system. It is amazing how it all works together. I could bore you with biology for hours. But I won't. Although just to let you know it has helped me study so thank you. Anyway I hope your new meds work better. I hate throwing up and worse feeling like I am going to so I can only imagine how you feel. Hang in there two down It is always a good feeling to mark em off as complete. I pray for you every single day! :) Marissa too! How is school going for her? As soon as you feel better and get a chance rest assured I am waiting for an update. K ... Lots of love! Lori

[nodepositneeded]

Pokerkitty6 - Are the rumors true? You're coming to celebrate in Duluth with Tony once you're cancer free???

[Pokerkitty6]

I hope I can make that happen! I'll want a party after all of this and the NDN gang would be a great time. Sometime early next year I will be back to my old self! I had no idea about the different kind of white blood cells. Marissa is doing great, I'm just ready for her to back home with her Dad. This will take some time because we have to go thru the legal steps, such as family builders, anger management, etc. They drag it out for a long time.

[Pokerkitty6]

I'm so pissed right now I can hardly see straight! My boobs hurt and I need to pop a pill. Since I talked about Marissa in my bc thread I'll keep it here. She brings home a discipline letter today saying she is one step away from a refferal and being sent to the dean's office. She is disrupting class and will not be quiet when the teacher is talking. She is in 5th grade and this is only the second week of class. I told her that the consequence in to write a letter of apology to the teacher explaining why she kept talking and how she can prevent her actions in the future. Simple punishment...not according to Marissa because the teacher also wrote that a "discussion" should be appropriate punishment. Well I thought I should follow thru with the "letter". Marissa exploded and felt she should only do what her teacher told her to do, instead of me. She continued ripping up good paper and I made her stop, she then threw on the floor. I made her clean it up. She wants her Dad to rot in prison and she wants to live with her mother. I told her the law says she can't live with her mother. I told her to start writing the letter, she told me no and started to walk downstairs. I followed her and told her to get back up here and start writing. She then ran from me right out the front door. I chased her until I realized I can't catch her and this is why my boobs hurt. I'm not supposed to be running. I freaked out got the car, even went out "bald". I went straigt to security where we live and then called 911. continued...

[Pokerkitty6]

We couldn't find her. In the mean time I had called my husband to come home from work to help. We also called her case worker. The case worker is the one who eventually found her about an hour latter. We all met back at home. I wanted the case worker to take her away and my husband talked me out of it. He told me to cool off for 24 hours. This girl is going to put my health in jepordy if I let her. The case worker said if she takes off again call 911, thats all we can do. After we make that 911 call we are held responsible for anything that happens to her. She has problems with exploding and I don't like it. I don't even want to talk to her right now and thats why I am here typing away. Now on top of the letter, I have added no tv or computer for a whole week because she took off on me. She didn't even stop to look for cars when she ran. I have some decisions to make...wish me luck, I'll all and any advice given. The more I stress and accelerate my heart the harder the chemo drugs work on me. I'm sure I'll feel something tonight. I cancelled my breast reconstruction appt. today because I wasn't feeling well. I was supposed to go from b cup to c cup today. Thank God that didn't happen today. I would have been in so much more pain from running. Thanks for listening, I'm starting to calm down....

[BnLM5]

Wow! Poker Kitty, you did the right thing. This arrangement with your niece living there for the time being is not going to change. So don't let it get you down. You are the boss and you are in control whether she wants to believe that or not. (It is understandable that your niece is acting out in class, but it is not okay) I know this being the fact that makes it so hard to deal with. I mean how do you punish a girl that is misbehaving or acting out when she is going through a very rough time. It is understandable that a young girl who is basically pre-puberty, without her mother, without her dad, living with her aunt that she loves and now her aunt has cancer. Marissa is either a spoiled rotten brat or a girl who is confused and scared. But either way she need to be shown love and taught some respect. First for herself and then for others. I don't really know how to exactly how I would deal with the problem. But I would hate for her to learn it the hard way. Does she realize what it is like to be a ward of the court? To be in foster care or worse yet with her attitude today she is likely headed for juvenile hall. I am sorry that you are having to go through all of this and deal with this too. But do you believe there is a reason for everything? I do, but I don't know why it takes so long for us to see the reasons. And sometimes the reasons are not for us to see. Which really sucks and makes it hard to put closure on things sometimes. The main part of this story is life, your life and the lives of the people that effect you in any way or that you effect somehow. Prioritize.... 1. Your health, if you are not healthy you can't help any one is that not a fact? For you to stay as healthy as possible it is necessary for you to.... A. Keep your stress level at a low..
B. Be positive
C. Etc....
The best way for you to be at ease with it is to communicate with Marissa. If you have good communication with the teacher, principal "school" and Marissa you can all work together and make it easier for everyone. Especially for you being sick. A simple phone call or letter to the school should work or a brief meeting. They need to understand the situation and put a little effort into helping you out right now. Marissa may not realize it but she is being very selfish. And not to make excuse but to bring to your attention did Marissa really disrupt the class that much that she is so near suspension. Some times people are not always on the up and up. I know I have and still run into situations where I see teachers (but not limited to teachers) for one not particularly care for someone and be tougher on them. Communicate is the best I think right now you need to be on the same page with her. And hopefully she will talk with you and trust in you that what you do is in her best interest. What she chooses to do is up to her. You can not make choices for her. I think that is one of the hardest things for me to get over as a mother. I wish I could have made choices for my girls as I had already lived the things they live and learn. But if we made their choices for them they would never appreciate a good one made or experience the feeling of accomplishment. I said a prayer for you personally and for your situation at hand with Marissa. It is all gonna be ok PK... hang in there and smile.
-Lori :)

[taylovesthebeatles]

Thanks, Lori, for putting into words what I was trying so hard to. I'm so sorry you're having to go through all these trials right now Renee, but know that they will subside eventually (at least they'd better or that means mine won't either!). God is in control here as always, and I know it's really frustrating to believe that there is a purpose and a plan for everything but at the same time still struggling with what it could possibly be when everything seems so negative. I admire you for blogging about everything that is going on and reaching out to someone for help. That takes a lot of strength and courage. Please try to hang in there and take care of yourself first and foremost, otherwise you're in no position to take care of Marissa or even Tony. Take it easy if you can. Be as good to yourself as possible. That's about all you can do somedays, but try to let that be enough. I love you, sis.

[Pokerkitty6]

Thnaks girls! My throat is sore today because I was screaming her name while looking for her in the rain. It took us an hour and her case worker was the one that found her. Then I have to explain to the case worker why we had the argument. Marissa seems to know she has the upper hand because there is only so much we can do with her, including the 2 foster families that couldn't handle her. The second family actually gave up their foster license and thats when we got her. She is a sweet child, but with this other side, I don't know what to think. She was really kissing up to the case worker and was more willing to listen to her than to me. The case worker liked the letter punishment, but told Marissa if she were her child she would take away tv and the computer for a whole week. After the case worker left, I decided since Marissa liked to kiss up to her and talk to her instead of me, I should follow up with what the case worker said. Now Marissa has to write the letter to her teacher, the case worker, and no tv or computer for a week. This is going to be a long week because she is going to drive me crazy. I would have sent her packing last night if my husband wasn't around to stop me. My responsibilty can only go so far especially with my health. Today she is being really nice and cleaning because she wants to. Really trying to kiss up now. I stay in touch with her teacher by email and have had 2 visits with her so far and we're only in week 2 of school. She has her hands full with this one! Before school started I met with her to make sure she knows I have cancer and to be very careful about the germs Marissa brings home everyday, so she makes sure her desk is sanitized everyday. She also explained to the other students why Marissa can't share her stuff. She is a great teacher and we seem to be on the same page. Again, thanks for listening. This is going to be a longggg weekend!

[Pokerkitty6]

Hi all! Just a little update, which is kinda scary for me. I finally got my BRACA 1 & 2 test results back. These are gene DNA tests to find out where my cancer will go next because I have the agressive cancer cells. My tests came back positive for gene mutation to my ovary. I say ovary because I only have one left due to a hystorectomy a couple of years ago. I have chemo tomorrow and on Thurday I have an ultrasound to see if there is cancer on my ovary, then back to the other doctor for my after chemo shot. Anyways it will take a few days to get my test results back. The good news is the only cancer I have the genes for is breast and ovarian, so half of it is taken care of if my chemo works. If there is no cancer showing on my ovary, the game plan is to finish chemo, finish breast reconstruction, and then go in and remove my ovary. If there is cancer then "I think" the chemo stops and I have surgery. We'll just have to wait and see the results again. Waiting is hard, but so is chemo. I hate it and cancer sucks.

[taylovesthebeatles]

Thanks for the update Renee, I've been wondering how you are doing! I'll definitely be praying for you about the ovarian cancer possibility, you've been through enough girl! How is Marissa doing? And Tony? It's sure good to hear an update from you, it sounds like you are still keeping your spirits up, even if you can't drink any! LOL. Anyway, my prayers are with you always sis, keep us updated please like you always do! Stay strong, I love you!

[GloBug]

wow well i hope it all works out for u. im at a loss for words. :grouphug:

[BnLM5]

PK, I know this is all pretty scary to say the least. But the ultra sound scheduled to check your ovary is a precautionary measure. As is the BRCA1 and BRCA2 test. At this point we unfortunately already know that you are at risk for breast and ovarian cancer. I am sure that they will not find cancer on your ovary. And when you are done with your chemo they will do surgery and remove your ovary and tubes. I am going to link you to a web site with a wealth of information on these test that might help to ease your mind and if you don't completely understand what and how they determine the results of these test you will understand after you read it. It is a credible site. Let me know what you think after reading it. I think that it is good that they found the mutation in this case because you already have or had breast cancer and now we know that it was in your genes. The good thing about that is they have it and they know why. And you won't have cancer popping up in other places. So keep your chin up and smile. Know that you have it whopped! :) Ok Two web sites. :)

http://www.mskcc.org/mskcc/html/8623.cfm#45826

Sloan-Kettering - Breast/Ovarian Cancer: BRCA1 & BRCA2 (http://www.mskcc.org/mskcc/html/8623.cfm#45826)

[Pokerkitty6]

Thanks for that valuable information. I had chemo today. 3 more to go. I hate them because they make me tired and sick. Oh well, ya gotta do what ya gotta do. We had an episode with Marissa getting in trouble for not doing her home. She also said she doesn't care about school or her teacher. I made her sit on the couch and wait for her case worker to come over. I also took away the tv for a week. When the case worker came in she refused to talk to her. They went upstairs for some private time and when they came down Marissa yelled at her and told her she hates her. She has always liked her case worker, so this is new. Marissa signed the paperwork from the case worker and told her she will never sign anything again. After storming off and locking herself in her room, my husband and I talked about it, and we think she has 2 different personalities. When she calmed down, we told her to take a shower, do her homework, and write a letter of apology to her case worker. She came downstairs after her shower, homework done, and the letter written. We were like, who are you. It's crazy she was as sweet as ever. I talked to her Grandmother on the other side of the family and she told me bipolar, suicide, and skitzo's run on their side of the family. I shared this with the case worked and requested more intense counseling for her. This is nuts, I hope she gets the help she needs and doesn't drive me crazy along the way.

[targetguy1]

pitty keep up the strong fight and if the chemo is the trick to playing better poker i might have to look in to it. they way you and lilred played was awesome.

keep being strong girl as you know you have the ndn forum behind you with this battle.

[woohoosue]

ahh kitty ..im sure some of it could be worry about you too. but please take good care of yourself, i wish your family the best dealing with all of this. I hope they can find a way to give her some relief in dealing with whatever shes dealing with. Do not stress yourself. you cant help but be concerned for her but you are doing everything you can for her and that's all you can do. Be well.

[ffcowboy76]

Wow, Kitty. I missed this whole story, up until today. Sorry to hear about everything and I'm glad you are dealing with all of the problems life seems to be throwing at you right now. I wish you the best in the future with your health.

[BnLM5]

PK you know that BiPolar or Manic depression if necessary can be treated with meds. Obviously Marissa is having a difficult time and if it is a chemical imbalance she is unable to control that, but meds. can help. But if it is multiple personalities disorder than that is a different story. I am not sure how that is treated. Maybe she needs a Dr. too and not just counseling. Maybe Marissa should write 3 things a day that she likes about herself and or 3 things a day that she is good at and or 3 things a day that she is blessed with. It may help her to think positive more often. Which sounds like positive is what she needs.

Now how about you. Chemo today, sucked I am sure. Hope you are feeling well and not to sick. Did the web sites give you any help at all. I hope they did. If anything a good understanding of what is going on. I know how doctors can sometime not explain things too well. They dread me coming in for an appointment. Because I ask so many questions. I ask questions until I am satisfied. Here recently my daughter was going to the doctor because they were saying that she had kidney problems. I knew pretty much what the problem was but I did not say anything. So I did some extensive research on my own and wrote out a report about what I thought with the information and resources to back it up and took it with us the next visit to the Doc. And I showed the Dr. with great respect of their expertise and asked if they would take a look at it, by the time we left the Dr. office the Dr. was sure that I was correct and that it was not a kidney problem at all. The Dr. even asked me if they could have the copy of the report I made. I couldn't believe it. It made me feel good any way and my daughter got better. So that just goes to show you that you can never ask too many questions or do enough research. Especially when it is you they are dealing with. You have every right to know exactly what is going on. :) Hang in there. I prayed for you today! Lot's of love Pk from me to you and your family.

[Pokerkitty6]

Thanks B...yes your link did help me alot. You're right about Marissa, and we are going forward as much as the goverment will let us. She is still a "state child". Chemo is rough so they changed my nasuea medicine again. I wish I could just smoke pot, but i can't. Rocketman told me about a pill that has thc in it and I asked for it today. Unfortunately, the thc pill and medical marijuana is illegal in the state of Florida. Can't blame me for asking though. I'm half way done, only three more treatments, then I can have my ovary removed and breath a little easier. Love you all for helping me through this!

[Lilred36]

I wish I could fly,
I would be in Ocala
to get you high
everytime I think of you I sigh
I wish you the best
as you are
stonger than the rest

[BnLM5]

Thanks B...yes your link did help me alot. You're right about Marissa, and we are going forward as much as the goverment will let us. She is still a "state child". Chemo is rough so they changed my nasuea medicine again. I wish I could just smoke pot, but i can't. Rocketman told me about a pill that has thc in it and I asked for it today. Unfortunately, the thc pill and medical marijuana is illegal in the state of Florida. Can't blame me for asking though. I'm half way done, only three more treatments, then I can have my ovary removed and breath a little easier. Love you all for helping me through this!

PK, you had the ultra sound today, right? I realize that the complete tests results won't be back for a few days. Monday maybe? But did the radiologist/or technician that did the ultrasound say anything at all? Gosh I hate that! And the waiting game is not a game I am good at either. But one thing for sure is when the Dr. reads the ultra sound, if there is anything at all out of norm he will call you right away. So if you look at it, in this way, it will be much easier to deal with. It's kind of one of those things where "no news is good news".

I doubt you will have anything on your ovary though, as the ultra sound is what would be done in any single given situation of the Brca test results. Which those test results do not say that you have ovarian cancer. Just the genes, and in this case the mutations. Which is already evident as you are doing away with breast cancer as we speak. Every one of us have cells of cancer in our bodies and in in every body there is a constant process of DNA mutation. As DNA is mutated and damaged by a gross number of factors such as chemicals, UV Rays, smoking and on and on.... None the less free radicals. Sometimes the cells take off and sometimes they don't which also happens for various reasons. So I just think you have some pretty good doctors that are doing a fine job in making sure they are on the ball here! :) I think of you every single day and I pray for you. I also think about meeting you some time. So on that note I will say good night my friend and I will talk with you later. Give Marissa a smile and hug for me too. Tell her I said hello, if you like. :)

[Pokerkitty6]

You guys are awesome! lilred, I loved your poem. One day next year I hope we can all have an NDN party! Good times to be held by all. The lady doing my ultrasound said she didn't see any masses, so thats a good sign. Looking forward to a new year when this is all behind me! Oh yeah, got a call from Marissa's teacher today, she is refusing to talk or do her work, so off to the principals office she goes. Wish me luck, I'm going to need it!!!

[Pokerkitty6]

Went to the doctor today for a little more enhancement. Walked in with a b cup, walked out with a c cup. It still amazes me what a few minutes can do to your body. My chest feels very tight, I need them to relax a little, LOL. 3 chemos left, can't wait until they are done.

[Lilred36]

Well no masses is good right? Kids will be kids,as we all know,I am really glad you only have three chemos left,and hoping that you get thru this well,as far as the kid well....

[BnLM5]

Went to the doctor today for a little more enhancement. Walked in with a b cup, walked out with a c cup. It still amazes me what a few minutes can do to your body. My chest feels very tight, I need them to relax a little, LOL. 3 chemos left, can't wait until they are done.

And when they loosen up we wish they would tighten up. lol You will get used to them again! Wow! Just like that walked in a b and walked out a c? It is amazing that's for sure. :)

[Pokerkitty6]

My chest is really tight today, but I am enjoying my kid-free weekend very much. No school on Monday either, so I lucked out and got an extra night! Enjoy your weekend everybody! Go CANES!!!

[woohoosue]

woohoooo pokerkitty is a C cup ..... hope the tightness has subsided by now ....no kid weekends were a pleasure ....they are all no kid weekends now for me...but i remember when it wasnt so relaxed....I hope all your results come back looking good ......have a greart weekend!

[Pokerkitty6]

Hi all! Sorry, I haven't been around lately. This has been my worst week for sickness. Every stinkin day since chemo last Wed. Four times they changed my meds now and nothing seems to work for me. Rocketmann told me to ask for Marinol, the pill with thc. First they told me no, not in FL., then when nothing else worked they finally gave it to me. Well, guess what, it's not the same and I don't like them. They seem to knock me out, but I am still nauseous. Today I feel is going to be a good day! I have to go to court today for Marissa'a future. I am trying to get her placed with her Grandmother, but the system is fighting me once again. Ok, enough complaining for now. Thanks for listening..

[freeringo]

Hi all! Sorry, I haven't been around lately. This has been my worst week for sickness. Every stinkin day since chemo last Wed. Four times they changed my meds now and nothing seems to work for me. Rocketmann told me to ask for Marinol, the pill with thc. First they told me no, not in FL., then when nothing else worked they finally gave it to me. Well, guess what, it's not the same and I don't like them. They seem to knock me out, but I am still nauseous. Today I feel is going to be a good day! I have to go to court today for Marissa'a future. I am trying to get her placed with her Grandmother, but the system is fighting me once again. Ok, enough complaining for now. Thanks for listening..

Do you need me to send you some real medicine?
Christ sakes, Florida laws suck for sick people.
Hang in there girlfriend.

[Pokerkitty6]

Looks like I have Marissa until Jan 13th now. The system takes toooo long. She is a "state child" at this time, so I can't even get a babysitter unless they are approved by DCF with background checks. She can't stay with anybody who has a felony. That limits alot of people and the rest of them don't want to go thru the hassel of DCF's investigation. I love Marissa, but this whole thing is a pain in the a s s. I'm having a good day today and I hope you all do too.

[freeringo]

Looks like I have Marissa until Jan 13th now. The system takes toooo long. She is a "state child" at this time, so I can't even get a babysitter unless they are approved by DCF with background checks. She can't stay with anybody who has a felony. That limits alot of people and the rest of them don't want to go thru the hassel of DCF's investigation. I love Marissa, but this whole thing is a pain in the a s s. I'm having a good day today and I hope you all do too.


Today is a most beautiful day indeed and hearing your are feeling better makes my day even more enjoyable.

[taylovesthebeatles]

Thank you for the update Renee, it is always appreciated. I hope you're feeling stronger every single day! Much love to you, and I hope you get the situation with Marissa sorted out really soon.

I have a special gift for you (and anyone else on the forum) today:

Carbon_Leaf_Pink - Download (http://vanguardrecords.com/downloads/Carbon_Leaf_Pink/)

It is a link to a website that will let you get a free download of the Carbon Leaf song, "Pink" that I posted for you earlier in this thread, for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I hope it lifts your spirits!

[Pokerkitty6]

uuuuuggggggg, what a depressing day for me. Just came back from the dr and she extended my chemo for three more months. I hate it! I can't stand it! I'm sooooo tired of cancer! Thanks for letting me vent....

[BnLM5]

Damn it PK! I am sorry! Three more months is not good news at all I agree. If you don't mind, what did she say about the extension? I am curious about her reason? I know that cancer sucks and so does chemo but it is obviously working. If it were not making any progress she would have stopped the chemo. So as stupid as it may sound this might be a good thing. If you can see the positive side of this you will feel better. I realize it is not an easy thing to do. But try! You know that I am going to remind you that your attitude is very important here! Surly you can feel the difference in the way you feel when your attitude is good than when it is not so good? I have said another prayer for you just moments ago and I will continue to do so. Nonetheless I have not stopped. I think about you every single day! That is the honest to God truth! I hold you close in my heart PK!

I sure do wish there was something that I could do to make this go away, or just to make you feel at your best at this moment. I am sorry that I can't do that. :( But I shall keep you filled with the positive things as it is easier for me to see them than for you to see them. And I do! : ) Lots of love PK and prayer lifted for you! Smile! Okay now smile one more time for me.... A little bigger... there you go, that is better. Now you can cry if you want to and release some of the tension. But if you decide not to rest assured that I will for you. Hang in there hon! Every little thing is going to be alright.

I wanted to tell you that I enjoyed our games yesterday! Thank you, I was tickled to see you there! It made my day!

[Pokerkitty6]

Awwwww B, you're such a sweetheart. I have triple negetative basal breast cancer and carry the genes for bc and ovaian cancer. I believe this means, I have triple the cancer cells which are negative for now, so she has to treat my cancer aggressively. She has told me many times and I have aggressive cancer, so she treats it the same way. I had a rough day yesterday, but today is a new day, a great day, and yes you did make me smile.

As far as seeing you at inetbet, the games were fun. I'll have a hard time remembering your other name. inetbet is the only casino I play slots and bj at. They are very easy to work with, so far no problems. Thanks again for everything.

[freeringo]

http://photos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs272.snc1/9921_1151193136721_1134401069_30385641_1840775_n.j pg (http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30385642&id=1134401069)

My cousin sends me this picture and I asked where is this house.
I lived there. lol
Then she goes on to remind me that I wrecked my bike there and broke my arm and got my toe ripped off.
We certainly need each other to remind us of all the fun we had growing up.

[taylovesthebeatles]

Love you Kitty. Stay strong for us, we'll hold you up. Praying for you always!

[BnLM5]

Damn it PK! I am sorry! Three more months is not good news at all I agree. If you don't mind, what did she say about the extension? I am curious about her reason? I know that cancer sucks and so does chemo but it is obviously working. If it were not making any progress she would have stopped the chemo. So as stupid as it may sound this might be a good thing. If you can see the positive side of this you will feel better. I realize it is not an easy thing to do. But try! You know that I am going to remind you that your attitude is very important here! Surly you can feel the difference in the way you feel when your attitude is good than when it is not so good? I have said another prayer for you just moments ago and I will continue to do so. Nonetheless I have not stopped. I think about you every single day! That is the honest to God truth! I hold you close in my heart PK!

I sure do wish there was something that I could do to make this go away, or just to make you feel at your best at this moment. I am sorry that I can't do that. :( But I shall keep you filled with the positive things as it is easier for me to see them than for you to see them. And I do! : ) Lots of love PK and prayer lifted for you! Smile! Okay now smile one more time for me.... A little bigger... there you go, that is better. Now you can cry if you want to and release some of the tension. But if you decide not to rest assured that I will for you. Hang in there hon! Every little thing is going to be alright.

I wanted to tell you that I enjoyed our games yesterday! Thank you, I was tickled to see you there! It made my day!

Your welcome PK. But I thought we were at Club World? :) I am happy that you had a great day! Have a happy day today as well!

[Pokerkitty6]

I just back from chemo and the reason it was extended was because I have aggressive cancer. I go for and hour and half once a week for 3 months. She hasn't decided about radiation yet and when this is all over pet scans once or twice a year. I have a 50-50 chance of cancer coming back in an area other than the ovary....I think inetbet and club world are the same. I was at inetbet. I can't play the bj tourneys at both casinos because they are related...says I can only play at one. I tried one night with my desk top and laptop...Thanks again everybody! You give me inspiration. I am a very positive person and I do see the glass half full!!! Luv Ya All!!!!

[Pokerkitty6]

Hi all! Had chemo today and thank God, it's not making me sick anymore. The chemo drug is called Taxotere and I take it for one and half hours. 9 more weeks to go....

[BnLM5]

That is so good to hear PK! I am so glad that you are not sick!!!! And nine weeks doesn't sound so bad. Well at least it sounds better than months. : )
You are still in my prayers and in my thoughts every day. Much love to you PK, from me! I am counting down the weeks with you. Hang in there baby!

How are things with Marissa? And How is Tony holding up? Give them a hello from me if you like. :) Lori

[Pokerkitty6]

Marissa and Tony are good, except Marissa got an F on her report card in math. How do you parents punish an F these days?

[BnLM5]

Marissa and Tony are good, except Marissa got an F on her report card in math. How do you parents punish an F these days?

Oh Boy! I can't believe that Marissa does not have more respect for herself then that.

With this kind of situation the first question is to get to the bottom of the problem. Is it a difficulty in learning math or is the difficulty in doing what needs to be done, such as homework etc.? Then go from there. Marissa obviously has issues in many areas but at this point her biggest problem it sounds like is her attitude. Has she any idea just how important her "EDUCATION" is? Or is she dead set on being a "LOSER" ? It is a shame to see a young girl with such wonderful opportunity and great potential just throw it away feeling sorry for herself and causing problems.

I wonder if Marissa realizes just how quickly childhood passes us by. By the time she does, she will be looking back wishing she could do it all again having you and social workers loving and pleading with her to be a good girl. Having things handed to her. How quickly reality comes upon us as adults. Having to pay the consequences for our actions. And how dearly they cost. When the day comes and it slaps her in the face that she is a big girl and there is nobody to pick her up and take her home.

No education these days = living on the streets hungry or if your lucky maybe she can find a friend, then maybe at night she can sleep in their car. Maybe. I mean really if she can't pass math in this grade, she will never pass math in high school and college will be out of the question.

Would it not be more productive for Marissa to put her energy and anger into herself really. Acting like a brat is hurting nobody but herself. But if she focused all this energy on proving to the world that she is of worth and filling her time with accomplishments rather than idiocy it would be in HER best interest. The only thing she is doing is cutting off her nose to spite her face. Now what kind of sense can she make of that.

PK Here is a big sigh ............. for you! I gotta hand it to you for being one tough cookie. Because I would want to be knocking some sense into her by now. And we both know, that can't happen. Patients on your part is all you can do and consistency!!! She is either going to make or break herself, is what it all will boil down to.

I have you all in my prayers!!!! Lots of Love to you and your family. : )

[Lilred36]

I'm glad to hear your doing well KITTY! 9 weeks is nothing,hang in there sweetie,sounds like you got it going your way now.Kids will be kids,when I was in school I would rather drink castor oil than do my English homework.I really hope ur ok and will keep ya in my thoughts.

[Pokerkitty6]

ok...6 more chemos to go! My dr. still hasn't made up her mind on radiation or not. Hopefully not! I already told you my hair is starting to grow back. My husband's new nick name for me (our friend Marty) started it.....Chia Pet. Ya gotta admit it's pretty funny. I'm not wearing anything on my head these days, just watching other people look at lucious locks!!! "God is Great, Beer is Good and people ARE crazy!"

[nodepositneeded]

ok...6 more chemos to go! My dr. still hasn't made up her mind on radiation or not. Hopefully not! I already told you my hair is starting to grow back. My husband's new nick name for me (our friend Marty) started it.....Chia Pet. Ya gotta admit it's pretty funny. I'm not wearing anything on my head these days, just watching other people look at lucious locks!!! "God is Great, Beer is Good and people ARE crazy!"

I'm just amazed at how someone can literally "glow" in a post online!

[GloBug]

yeah i must agree with ndn on this. you are glowing. took my shine away from me. lol i love to hear things from strong people like u . makes me think the world is good. keep striving CHIA PET it will all be done soon.

[Lilred36]

Glad your doing well Chia Pet,hope you don't need the radiation and the chemo knocks this out,best wishes girl.

[freeringo]

everybody crazy you crazy too

keep laughing girlfriend.

much love

[BnLM5]

ok...6 more chemos to go! My dr. still hasn't made up her mind on radiation or not. Hopefully not! I already told you my hair is starting to grow back. My husband's new nick name for me (our friend Marty) started it.....Chia Pet. Ya gotta admit it's pretty funny. I'm not wearing anything on my head these days, just watching other people look at lucious locks!!! "God is Great, Beer is Good and people ARE crazy!"

All I can say to you PK is WOW! You are amazing!!!

[Pokerkitty6]

Hi All!! It's been a while. TODAY WAS MY LAST DAY OF CHEMO!!!! 6 1/2 months worth, wow. Now all I have to do is have a colinostopy, my ovary removed, my "real implants" put in 2 or 3 pet scans a year and I'm good. I have a 50-50 chance of cancer coming back, so I hope like hell my glass is half full!!! NO MORE CHEMO!!!! I can't say it enough. I also went to court today for Marissa's dependency hearing and it looks like we talked the judge into another few months with us. We are hoping she can go back to her father soon. We love her but she needs to be with her Dad.

[GloBug]

thats great news PK. happy to hear that its come to a end. the glass is half full. just keep up with what is needed of u and all will be goood. and yes she does need her daddy.

[Lilred36]

Thats great news KITTY, a little good news is great.I hope it stays gone and never ever returns.I agree with Glo, if all is well there she does need her Dad.Glad your ok and welcome back.

[woohoosue]

wooohoooo! GF ..... I'm so happy for ya... I know it's hard for you to feel confident about your recovery but it will come ...may take a year or two but it will come. Great News about getting this part of the treatment behind u though!

[Pokerkitty6]

Somebody's gonna have to wipe this smile off my face! I just heard the doorbell ring at 6:15pm and it was UPS. My father-in-law, Barney from Duluth, MN, just sent me a bottle of Dom Perignon to have an "after chemo party"!!!! He must really love me! Wow! Should I save it for Valentine's Day? He thought I should open it tomorrow! I'm thinking a special day, but then again, no more chemo makes alot of special days!!!! I still can't believe!

[Lilred36]

WOW!Thats great KITTY congrats,I'm sure your gonna enjoy it whenever ya decide to open it.

[woohoosue]

i agree ..either way the gift says what all of us are thinking for u......HOORAY! to be threw this hard leg of your recovery! any day u choose will be the best day to do it.....HOOOORAY!

[Pokerkitty6]

Hi all! It's been a while...had my first colonoscopy and no colon cancer! I had surgery yesterday to remove my ovary and good news no ovarian cancer! Bad news is I just got my Pet scan results back and it shows 2 enlarged lymph nodes in my chest wall. I go in for a Cat scan on Wed. I have never had a cat scan before so I really don't know what the difference is...It's scary, but I plan on winning!!! In the mean time I have been keeping my mind off of it by playing slots at inetbet and poker at tilt and stars. No cash outs, but enjoying my time spent there. I love the new rush poker at tilt, you'll have to check it out. Peace and love sent your way!

[BnLM5]

I love you PK!

[woohoosue]

Hope You Got an "all clear" from the CAT scan.....Be strong!

[Pokerkitty6]

Thanks all! It looks like my breast expanders are causing my lymph node inflammation. Just to be sure my doctor is keeping a close eye on me. I should have my "real implant" surgery scheduled soon. This has been a long road and I appreciate you all coming along on the ride.

[BnLM5]

OMG, thank God! I have been worried. I am so glad to hear that or read that whatever it is I am so glad!!!!! You have had a tough battle but you won, PK you won!!!! Finally some tears of joy! I knew you could do it! Thanks for the update! And your friendship!!!! I love you PK even though I have never met you in person you are my kind of friend and I love you!!!! I will continue to pray for you and your family. (Tony, Marissa, and your brother)

[Pokerkitty6]

Hey Ladies! You know your girls best! Touch them, feel them, know them. Get your partner involved, it's alot more fun that way! Stay up on your mammograms. Today I am having my tissue expanders removed and my big girl implants put in. Wish me luck!

[BnLM5]

Good luck PK! But mostly have fun with em! Your the best and I love ya! You are one tough cookie! ; ) And thank you!

[Pokerkitty6]

Hey all! Just an update...my implants are the biggest they make 800 cc's, but on me they are not as big as they would be on a normal girl. Hahaha, I'm not normal, we all already knew that! The doc had to cut out so much tissue from my chest wall the implant has to take up some space inside my chest as well, thats why they call it breast reconstruction. I am a very large C cup or a small D cup....time will tell once they settle. I had a Pet Scan last week and it shows no cancer, just a 2.2 cm mass in front of my heart. Today I get a call I have to have a Cat Scan tomorrow to find out more about the mass, depending on the mass the doc may send me to a lung specialist. I'm soooooo confused right now, I'm not sure which way to turn. At least we're getting back to our poker tournaments to take my mind off all of this! Update on my neice Marissa, she is very close to being reunified with her Dad! They love each other so much and as I said before she belongs with her father. I will miss her and she will be in my life ALOT!!!!! As usual, thanks for listening. xoxoxo

[nodepositneeded]

Kitty
I am so sorry for what you have been through ,I am a firm believer that Positive thinking goes a long way when you are battling Cancer .I am a big girl too and I am sure 'normal implants' would get lost in my armpits somewhere too lol.How are you feeling?I have a friend who lost both breasts to Cancer and last two years have been difficult ,she just started her reconstruction about 3 months ago.You made it this far ,I am sure the Mass is worrying you but please stay strong for now and think good things!

Tracy

[nodepositneeded]

Just wanted to say as the owner of 42DD and weighing 160 pounds I wanted to get a reduction .I hated my breasts because I am top heavy and buying a dress to fit my boobs means i am wearing a flour sack on the bottom.If it were not for my husband's attachment to them i would be very happy as a 36B .My friend wore bags of water in her bra for a week thinking she wanted bigger and thank god she didn't go that route.I will say additional prayers for your back ,neck and shoulders lol

[Pokerkitty6]

Ha! Tracy you're funny. I wanted the bigger the better....but something is better than nothing. I do have some nice clevage, I just have to get used to them. Now my husband is ready to do some shots :) !!!! I feel good and have a positive attitude, I'm just tired of all the scans and doctors. Too many scans can kill ya. Then one day hearing about my heart, the next my lungs and they don't really know what it is. I'm having my Cat Scan now at 7:45 in the morning. I'm not sure if this is the right decision or not. Does your friend have triple negative bc? That's what I have and it's hard to learn about. For example, it is ok for me to have dairy? I get caught up on the internet and loose a grip on all the information out there. Last year, I said I'm looking forward to 2010, now I say I'm looking forward to 2011. I really need a break from all the appointments. Thanks for listening, this has really become kind of like my bc diary...

[taylovesthebeatles]

Hooray for new boobies! I'm always praying for you, sis, remember that. I'm glad Marissa is getting back with her dad. I know you will miss her but I do hope you'll get to see her and be as involved in her life as you want to be. Please keep us updated.

And also enjoy the pictures for me, ok? Love you!

[Pokerkitty6]

Hey all! I'm going to the hospital tomorrow for a biospy of my tymus gland. Never even heard of it til last week. I'll probably be spending the night and will be back online as soon as I feel better. Lets all do a shot and say a prayer my cancer is not back! It's a pretty scary surgery in the morning, c-ya soon!

[taylovesthebeatles]

Hey all! I'm going to the hospital tomorrow for a biospy of my tymus gland. Never even heard of it til last week. I'll probably be spending the night and will be back online as soon as I feel better. Lets all do a shot and say a prayer my cancer is not back! It's a pretty scary surgery in the morning, c-ya soon!

I'll definitely do a shot for you, sis! And I'll send up some prayers too, how's that? I love you!

[woohoosue]

Kisses and huggs Kitty!
i will do a jagermiester or a captain morgan (but only if I'm out of Jager) lol
no worries girl .....more huggs and kisses

[Olymokes]

Hope you start to feel better very soon Pokerkitty6! Will keep you in my thoughts. You have had such a positive attitude in your post by looking forward to the following years and thats the best thing to do. Always look forward and take care.. Olymokes

[Pokerkitty6]

Thanks you to you both. I'm back home now. Dr. John Brock had to abort my procedure because once he got in there he realized it was too dangerous. My enlarged tymus gland is sitting directly on top of my heart and between my lungs. It sucks! Now we are going to wait until October and do another scan to see what it says. If it says the same thing I don't even want to think about it...Thanks again to you all for your support, love, and prayers. xoxoxoxoxoxo

[BnLM5]

Ohhhh PK! I am just able to get back on line this am. I was lost for words for a moment so I stopped and prayed for you! Keep your head up PK and don't let stress make you sick. Go to those appointments like you own them and stay strong in your fight! I will keep praying for you and I will pass it on as well. Love to you PK!!!

[taylovesthebeatles]

Oh honey I love you! I will get as many prayers for you as possible!

[SlotQQueen54]

Hi all!!! A few nights ago I told a few of you that I had something to say and I would tell you when I am ready. Well tonight I feel ready to share. I have grade 3 invasive poorly diferentiated ductal type mammory carcenoma. In other words, I have breast cancer. It's freaking me out. Within the next two weeks I will be having a radical double masectomy. Some of my words may be spelled wrong, but you get the idea. It sucks because I have beautiful 36C tits. I mean they are f'in nice. I will undergo reconstruction at the same time and I think I am going to get me some bigger tits. What do ya'll think about 36D? My husband smiles everytime I say it!!!! When I am down and out, my hubby, Tony has been instructed by me to play some of my games. Feel free to ask is that you Tony or Renee? We will be honest with you. My doctors says I should be back to playing golf 6-12 months down the road. I'll just have to learn how to regrip with bigger tits. I probably have to grip the shaft and squeze my tits together. All humor aside, this is very serious for me. I thought I would just like to share my feelings with my NDN family. This site has and will continue to be a blessing for me, especially now, to keep my mind off of things and learn from others experience. I am still working in the golf shop and have my job secured when I have recovered enough to go back to work. Until then, I'll just keep happy thoughts in my head. Cheers and I'll c-ya at the tables!!!!
God be with you Kitty..Keep up the positive attitude!

[Pokerkitty6]

This is the latest....I have not returned to work yet and my job is there whenever I need it. My golf club is my biggest support system ever. I haven't played golf in almost 1 1/2 years and its driving me nuts! My clubs are sitting in the living room right by the door for when I get the ok to play from the dr!!!! I still have my port and that really sucks. Dr. Brock wants to see my scan in Oct.,if it lights up, take implants out, saw breast bone in half, get biopsy of thymus gland, put new implants in and take about 3 months to heal. If it comes back as cancer, its probably all over my body being in that particular area. Then I decide, go back in remove implants, saw bone and take out thymus....or just deal with it and take chemo and radiation for another 6 months. Sounds like I'm pretty much screwed either way. So, I lifted my head up, said a prayer and hopefully next week getting a second opinion from the Shands Cancer Center in Gainesville, Fl. They are supposed to be one of the best in our state and they are also affiliated with the Mayo in Jacksonville. My back has been killing me by my kidneys for a couple of days and I just say GOD please take my cancer away and please keep my organs working. In the mean time, I'm just playing poker and being nosey on my facebook page. Have a blessed day and thanks for listening....

[vickid]

well kitty it has been a long time since i have been on hear and it sadens me to still see u struggling but my prayers are with u and i hope for the best and im glad you are still in good spirts

[BnLM5]

How's it going PK?