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NDN
11-22-2011, 07:18 AM
I think it's time for me to pick up a new computer, but until I do, I was wondering if anyone had any tips on how to speed up an old one.

It's not a space issue I am having, but a virtual memory issue that is slowing things down for me (more and more often these days and it's really quite annoying).

Aside from buying a new computer or buying more memory for this one, does anyone have any suggestions?

I've done all of the obvious things and some of the not so obvious things that you can find on Google, but haven't seen much of an improvement.

So if you have any tips (aside from the obvious), I'd be grateful if you shared them!

Ringo
11-22-2011, 07:39 AM
Technology for Country Folk.

1. LOG ON: Makin a wood stove hotter.

2. LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.

3. MONITOR: Keepin an eye on the wood stove.

4. DOWNLOAD: Gettin the farwood off the truk.

5. MEGA HERTZ: When yer not kerful gettin the farwood.

6. FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood.

7. RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood.

8. HARD DRIVE: Gettin home in the winter time.

9. PROMPT: Whut the mail ain't in the winter time.

10. WINDOWS: Whut to shut wen it's cold outside.

11. SCREEN: Whut to shut wen it's blak fly season.

12. BYTE: Whut them dang flys do.

13. CHIP: Munchies fer the TV.

14. MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag.

15. MODEM: Whut cha did to the hay fields.

16. DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix's wife.

17. LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps.

18. KEYBOARD: Whar ya hang the dang keys.

19. SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knifs.

20. MOUSE: Whut eats the grain in the barn.

21. MAINFRAME: Holds up the barn roof.

22. PORT: Fancy Flatlander wine

23. ENTER: Northerner talk fer "C'mon in y'all"

24. RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: Wen ya cain't 'member whut ya paid fer the rifle when yore wife asks.

25. MOUSE PAD: That hippie talk fer the rat hole.

eejit101
11-22-2011, 08:22 AM
The only way to fix it is to upgrade ram.

Ive had the problem, and spoke to loads of people.

sorry

NDN
11-22-2011, 09:08 AM
Hmmm. Thanks for those two useless responses.

eejit101
11-22-2011, 10:07 AM
Its not useless. Your comp is broke. Fix it with RAM. or, do what i did, get windows 7 which is jizz-tastic

Ringo
11-22-2011, 10:10 AM
If money is an issue I would be happy to chip (get it ) in.

If it's a technical infuriority issue try a youtube video How to install ram

eejit101
11-22-2011, 11:55 AM
Dont do that. NDN owns the Vikings.

NDN
11-22-2011, 01:48 PM
I guess I'll go buy some more memory or a new computer (Ringo I'll send you an invoice for reimbursement).

Still sad that no one has any fun tricks to try and a bit frustrated that people keep making useless replies to my posts after I've clearly outline the kind of replies that I do not want! Bastards!

eejit101
11-22-2011, 02:05 PM
thief!

And sorry, but it was a cows opinion.

woohoosue
11-22-2011, 02:07 PM
I keep all my useless replies to myself when it comes to you sir....eejit and ringo are a whole nother ball of wax......

I'm sorry for your loss :nopity:and hope this memory upgrade is your savior and not money best used for a shiny new comp.....glglglglgl

PANAMHIEST
11-22-2011, 03:35 PM
you can use task manager and close a whole bunch of junk running on your computer that is useless, but dont close anything that is actually useful lol

woohoosue
11-22-2011, 06:19 PM
you can use task manager and close a whole bunch of junk running on your computer that is useless, but dont close anything that is actually useful lol

yeah and that's the trick ....what is all that stuff? i go in there and it's greek to me

ScareCrowAKA
11-22-2011, 06:22 PM
download tons of online p0rnography

woohoosue
11-22-2011, 06:23 PM
basic..have you tried the unplug pull out battery and then start over? im sure u have also im on wireless modem/router....make sure you arent using # one place for hardline. and also unplug that and plug back in....also unplug from wall phone line (if u are archaic like me) and plug back in.

klinkman
11-22-2011, 09:43 PM
For an attempt at actual useful tips:
Run an anti-virus and anti-spyware program to ensure that there isn't anything rouge that's absorbing CPU cycles

Increase the minimum and maximum settings for virtual memory. This should help with the "Virtual Memory Minimum too Low" messages you sometimes get on Windows XP

Open the task manager and sort your running processes by ram usage. If there are any suspicious processes, google them to see what they are. If there are ones that are using lots of memory that you aren't using at the moment, quit using them! If you are using them, see if there's a way to make them use less memory. Browers are notorious for this, the solution is to a)use less tabs, b)close and reopen the browser to reallocate memory lost to memory leaks and c)switch to google chrome!

And finally, what I've been suggesting to my mother for about 4 years, BUY A NEW COMPUTER!

ScareCrowAKA
11-22-2011, 09:57 PM
lol if u dont need the sound, u can just run it in safe mode all the time

NDN
11-22-2011, 10:31 PM
For an attempt at actual useful tips:
Run an anti-virus and anti-spyware program to ensure that there isn't anything rouge that's absorbing CPU cycles

Increase the minimum and maximum settings for virtual memory. This should help with the "Virtual Memory Minimum too Low" messages you sometimes get on Windows XP

Open the task manager and sort your running processes by ram usage. If there are any suspicious processes, google them to see what they are. If there are ones that are using lots of memory that you aren't using at the moment, quit using them! If you are using them, see if there's a way to make them use less memory. Browers are notorious for this, the solution is to a)use less tabs, b)close and reopen the browser to reallocate memory lost to memory leaks and c)switch to google chrome!

And finally, what I've been suggesting to my mother for about 4 years, BUY A NEW COMPUTER!

Yes, this is what I was looking for. Unfortunately I've done all of that already, but at least you made an attempt at giving me some solid advice!